[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]maraudermeat wrote:
i was whipped as a child and all i learned was to not get caught when doing something wrong and that when i was big enough and strong enough i would put an end to it. the first person i ever knocked out was my father. i was 13 years old and he broke out the belt and started in on me and i finished it by knocking him out cold. luckily this was a turning point in our relationship and he soon learned that physical abuse only made me mean and full of rage. we now have more of a brotherly relationship.
I’m now a parent and have been an elementary school teacher for 12 years. I work in a school with a large population of low income and single family children. I’ve known many children that are beaten by their parents. I’m always amazed when i talk to a parent about a child’s behavior and they tell me “don’t worry… they will get a good ass whipp’n when they get home” It’s like they are bragging about their beating of some little kid. I often tell them that I’m not impressed. I can say from my experience that beating a kid NEVER improves behavior. Consistency improves behavior. As a teacher obviously i’ve never layed my hands on a student but often i get comments from parents that their kids listen to me but they won’t listen to them. the reason… I’m consistent. The kids respect me and they know they are safe with me. There’s also mutual respect.
As it pertains to my daughter. i knew the moment she was born that i would NEVER lay my hands on her other than to show her love and affection. Raising a child requires one to actually be involved in your child’s life. You have to be there every moment to lead them, protect them and love them. It’s all about love and being there through it all. [/quote]
The reality is, some parents are not there through it all. They work 2 or 3 jobs and the junior high student is a latch key kid most of his life. When someone whose guidance has gone off the rails due to financial, cultural, or physical (in terms of abuse) issues, you don’t always get a child who will respond to a time out.
I agree with much of what you wrote. I think all out beating a child is criminal. I won’t, however, stand up and claim that no kid needs a spanking. There are loads of families out there where damage has already been done and it won’t be always fixed with “no tv tonight”.
I would also hope much physical discipline would not be needed in the “Ideal Home”.[/quote]
I often wondered if when i became a father if I too would spank my kid. I can honestly tell you that when i looked into her eyes for the first time i knew that i would never infict pain on her. i feel like the world is full of enough pain and misery. I’m sure the world will show my daughter enough pain. I want her to know that I’m safe and she will never have to worry about that crap from me.
I know that raising a kid can be done without getting physical with them. i’ve done it with my own and i’ve done it with thousands of others through my teaching career.
I see what you are getting at with the broken families and neglected children. I’ve had thousands of them over the years. My response to you would be that they need love and compassion even more. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve been compared to a drill sergeant on many an occasion. I’m all for discipline. The difference is that I dont’ see the need to get violent. Violence only teaches violence. I know, I’m a product of it. It would come very natural for me considering my background. There’s nothing about being whipped as a child that made me a better person or more respectful.
