Family Sabotaging My Progress

[quote]lewhitehurst wrote:

[quote]7thSonofa7thSon wrote:

[quote]lewhitehurst wrote:

[quote]7thSonofa7thSon wrote:
Substance abuse (I still indulge, but its for pleasure and recreation at appropriate times)[/quote]

This line right here shows you are no better than your family you say was “sabotaging” you. You are sabotaging yourself. [/quote]

I don’t abuse substances anymore. I don’t think a few beers now and then, or the occaisional joint is going to stunt all progress (and it hasn’t, otherwise I’d still be ultra-fat). No point spending so much effort on my body if I forget to live in the process. I said substance abuse (prescription drugs) was one of the motivators to get my life on track.[/quote]

Learn to write. You said you abused substances and still indulge. Are we supposed to be able to read your mind?

And you said you are skinny fat. Think that smoking weed and drinking beer may be contributing to that? Everyone has their own goals and level of dedication, but don’t whine about being sabotaged when you aren’t giving 100%. When I am not doing my best I shut up and point the finger where it belongs - at myself. I suggest you do the same.[/quote]

Generally when someone says they still indulge but at appropriate times they mean responsible use. You may not be able to distinguish between use and abuse, but anyone who has ever been addicted to anything beyond cigarettes can tell you there is a HUGE difference. 4 or 5 beers now and then is not that big of a deal. Considering I was drinking 3 cases a week, smoking a quarter ounce in the same time period and taking whatever prescription painkillers I could get ahold of.

I think what I said is pretty cut and dry, clearly there was a misunderstanding. I don’t care if people want to try to sabotage me, I’m more interested in the reason that are doing it. My families health is my primary concern.

Not all sabotage is malicious.

I’d say this kind isn’t. Parents can be competitive with their kids.

My example would be as a kid I took TKD with my dad. We did it together. I was sort of a fat kid. Never great shape. We got our black-belts together.

However, now I’m doing mixed martial arts, where competition and full contact is a big part of it. He does not support this, rationalizing that it has much more potential to permanently injure me. There’s something to that, just like squatting has more potential to injure you than the pink-dumbbells. But the reality is, is that I’m willing to do something, take risks, and reap greater benefits, than he was willing to.

Sounds very similar to the OPs dad, where he was supportive as long as you stayed in HIS comfort zone, doing things he could see himself doing. He’s rationalized reasons he never got into great shape, or lost his beer gut, so to his mind there’s really good reasons not to.

[quote]Spartiates wrote:
Not all sabotage is malicious.

I’d say this kind isn’t. Parents can be competitive with their kids.

My example would be as a kid I took TKD with my dad. We did it together. I was sort of a fat kid. Never great shape. We got our black-belts together.

However, now I’m doing mixed martial arts, where competition and full contact is a big part of it. He does not support this, rationalizing that it has much more potential to permanently injure me. There’s something to that, just like squatting has more potential to injure you than the pink-dumbbells. But the reality is, is that I’m willing to do something, take risks, and reap greater benefits, than he was willing to.

Sounds very similar to the OPs dad, where he was supportive as long as you stayed in HIS comfort zone, doing things he could see himself doing. He’s rationalized reasons he never got into great shape, or lost his beer gut, so to his mind there’s really good reasons not to.[/quote]

That sounds about right. Interestingly, my dad and I got our black belts in American Kenpo together too. I don’t think its malicious, and i’m starting to wonder if they even realize they’re doing it. The idea of it being out of their comfort zone seems likely.