How far is the gym from home? It might be better for you to take a bike there or use public transportation. That gets rid of your mom making you feel like shit.
it sounds like you have people in your life (your parents) who don’t fully support all your decisions, and disagree with them sometimes, and when they do, they express that opinion. Your mom, specifically, is expressing to you that your decision affects her life substantially. And it sounds like you’re demanding her time and efforts to do the thing you want to do.
And all of that is actually just fine. If this is that important to you, then you just need to deal with the negative feedback. Welcome to Life, the place where not everyone will like everything you do.
At least she’s still driving you, right? She hasn’t said no? I’d call that support.
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Have you tried slapping her?
someone had to say it!
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I’m just glad it wasn’t me.
I’m still at a loss that someones parents said not to do something and the kid actually didn’t/won’t do it!
When I was a kid…
That meant to do it immediately. We have these big slag dumps in this region where the steel mills would dump all of the slag from the steel making process. When my dad was younger,you could actually fall through the crust and into a burning pit, which reportedly happened to a kid he knew. So of course, he tells us about it and includes the promise of a severe ass beating if we were ever caught riding our bikes there. The only thing we could do was to go ride there as soon as humanly possible.
Then there were the wipe outs that got that slag embedded in knees, elbows and hands,which had to be cleaned, dressed and hidden (or stories made up as to how we got them). Turns out they were awesome places to ride, build jumps, light stuff on fire, etc.
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No public transport where I live and mom won’t let me bike to the gym.
Sounds like you’re going to have to start jogging it to the gym. Ask her to pick you up afterwards. That saves her an extra 30 minutes a day to make sure everything in your house is taken care of. If that’s not possible, then put your headphones on and drown out her voice.
serious? he said it’s a 15+ minute drive. That translates to at least an hour jog each way. He’s a 15 year old kid.
also going to disagree with this. Being an asshole and ignoring the person who’s providing you a service, in this case his own mother, is not a particularly palatable solution.
The solution is talking to his parents about these things in an open and honest manner. If that cannot be accomplished without mediation, then he should find a counselor of some sort to help facilitate that discussion. He also needs to be open to hearing the other side of the issue, and not being so hard headed about how much he NEEDS the gym.
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Your talk should go something like:
An acknowledgement of what she is doing (helping you out, not your bitch session here)
A statement of the benefit you get from it
A recognition that it has an impact on her (time, etc)
You then need to demonstrate that you have a plan to get her off the hook (in x months I’ll be driving with Corey’s dad every other week or whatever)
You then identify that you would like her to continue driving you and you understand it requires her support and that it has an ongoing inpact.
Then offer to take the load off in other areas. It’s a negotiation so let her bring up ideas.
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And congratulations, you’re almost a man now. Soon no one will give 2 fucks about your goals and hobbies - let alone help you out for nothing.
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best post i’ve seen from you, ever. well said.
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I wonder how many times your mom has actually complained? 15-year-olds can have a tendency to magnify negative feedback, so a mom who expresses frustration a couple of times over many trips about the drive back and forth is perceived as doing it all the time. Also, you’re saying “they have been,” but it seems to be only your mom? So I would take a moment to consider whether she does it cheerfully some of the time and is only negative occasionally, and then consider, if so, what’s going on at those times. Has she said “I’ve got this and this and this to do today” and you’ve sort of melted down about how you absolutely, positively have to go because this is leg day, so she’s gone into overdrive explaining the burden? Maybe there are just bad days for her. If so, problem-solve with her. Does she need an advance schedule so she’s not in the middle of making a meatloaf when you announce that you need to go? For you to arrange that she drops you and your dad picks you up? That you go at a different time? And so on. Also be aware that it’s HARD to manage non-driving teen schedules and the rest of life, too. She may just be venting. If so, just sympathize! It genuinely sucks not to have a second to yourself because family demands are so high. It doesn’t last long, this phase of family life, but it’s intense for parents while they’re there.
I don’t see @anon71262119’s hug post, but I suspect I would second it. I’m not sure you need to convince your parents of the necessity of the workouts as much as express appreciation for their help. In doing this I would reinforce that this has become a passion for you, partly because you like the gains and partly because it clears your head and makes you feel calm and confident. Notice I’ve mellowed the tone from “need this as mental health treatment” to “it just makes me feel really good.” If it really is mental health treatment, okay, maybe as others said you should talk to your doctor about the whole thing, But if in fact you love pushing heavy things around and it makes you feel sort of badass and that makes you feel happy and calm - speak in those terms. This goes back to the exaggerated response. Not saying you ARE doing that, just suggesting you check yourself and give accurate information. Caring parents LOVE to hear about their kids’ inner workings. So talk about it to them, but first figure out what it is you think and feel when you’re not trying to convince or sell them. I suspect this:
Is really the main thing, and while I understand that it reduces anxiety that may be due to feeling engaged and satisfied and like you’ve found your happy place. If so, speak about those things!
Just some thoughts - good luck!
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Can you not find a gym that’s either closer for your mum and o drive you, or in a part of town that they would be happy to ride to or can you not just train and school, if they have a gym.
Or as was mentioned above, Can you ask about the gym to see if anyone is more local to you that you can share a lift with.