Ex-Gf Left Me, "Still Loves Me." Help?

[cnewstead]

@mr.v3lv3t

Plenty of solid advice given here. If I were you, I’d take everything that the other posters have given you to heart and not to be wishy-washy about it. Then stop checking this thread.

Definitely listening and implementing what everyone has said. Gives me a better peace of mind seeing all the advice

[slabtown_slammer]

First piece of advice. Stop reading this thread and make some goals. You need to keep busy. Start a busy training program TODAY, take up hobbies/activities that interest you, connect with friends etc. Oh and side note from my experience… every time I do my own thing and ignore women they seem to always come crawling back…

[cnewstead]

@slabtown_slammer

First piece of advice. Stop reading this thread and make some goals. You need to keep busy. Start a busy training program TODAY, take up hobbies/activities that interest you, connect with friends etc. Oh and side note from my experience… every time I do my own thing and ignore women they seem to always come crawling back…

Definitely just going to do me for now. Did you ignore them completely? Texts? Calls?

[thefourthruffian]

@cnewstead

Definitely just going to do me for now. Did you ignore them completely? Texts? Calls?

Certainly get off the social media. And ignore calls, unless it’s related to a pre-arranged picking up with her crap, which you should do, politely, and like a gentleman to a distant relative you don’t like.

And if she sends the evil and manipulative (“I miss you”) texts, respond (when you feel moved to respond, and only if you choose to respond) – “OK” – nothing more, nothing less. Don’t respond with the pathetic “I miss you, too” or the slightly better “Well, you shouldn’t have fucked things up” or even “I’ve moved on, leave me alone.” Just “OK”.

After the first one, don’t respond.

After a year, don’t respond. Not even with “new phone, who dis?” Just no answer.

If the “OK” gets a giant explosive response, block her.

[thefourthruffian]

@EmilyQ

@loppar

That’s an extremely shitty move that some people (especially women) like to do, hoping to keep their options open.

See, this is the cynicism, @polo77j.

I would say (not that it makes it any better, mind you) that women have a bad tendency to try to soften bad news. We don’t do conflict well and we don’t like to hurt people. We have difficulty with a hard “no.”

@thefourthruffian

I prefer to be called realistic. In seriousness, there are a limited number of things possibly going on, none of them good:

1. She’s banging another guy and hoping it will work out;
2. She’s not emotionally stable/secure or otherwise screwed up;
3. This is some sort of shit-test, where she hopes to gain the upper hand in the relationship, long-term, by getting him to beg her to come back; or
4. She’s not into him.

Regardless, the answer to 1-4 is to cut ties.

Nothing for me to disagree with here.

I’m an expert in bad relationship choices. Have a PhD.

[cnewstead]

@thefourthruffian

Certainly get off the social media. And ignore calls, unless it’s related to a pre-arranged picking up with her crap, which you should do, politely, and like a gentleman to a distant relative you don’t like.

And if she sends the evil and manipulative (“I miss you”) texts, respond (when you feel moved to respond, and only if you choose to respond) – “OK” – nothing more, nothing less. Don’t respond with the pathetic “I miss you, too” or the slightly better “Well, you shouldn’t have fucked things up” or even “I’ve moved on, leave me alone.” Just “OK”.

After the first one, don’t respond.

After a year, don’t respond. Not even with “new phone, who dis?” Just no answer.

If the “OK” gets a giant explosive response, block her.

Okay I gotcha. So be distant and short

[Danny_BNY]

Don’t get into playing mind games with her either. Just literally focus on you and no one else. Don’t worry about sending a response just to get a reaction out of her, just avoid contact and try to improve yourself like everyone else has suggested.

We’ve all been there, and now its your turn to experience this. It’s not the end of the world.

[Cartman8675]

Bad advice from everyone.

She’s clearly hooked on heroin and is headed in a downward spiral to her impending demise. The only thing you can and must do is to find out where she is, show up at her door with her parents and have the intervention.

You’re welcome.

[schluck_specht]

I have to be honest…you sound like a super nice guy (which is part of the problem …but that’s a whole different convo) but you need to just move on.

You say you never ever fought? Well actually going against most everything that we men have been taught, that is not necessarily a sign of a completely healthy relationship. There is usually a bit more of the dynamic where there’s 1 or 2 big arguments, several little petty arguments and debates and then the “…I hate you…but come over and bang me” kind of argument.

You don’t want to hear this, but she probably wanted to leave before your bday but out of respect for you, she didn’t want to ruin that. Just stop calling her and move on. It will be hard, esp if she is one of the first women you’ve ever truly loved. BUT one thing that is terribly trite and extremely true is that YOU WILL LEARN from this and you will move on.

Oh and from my experience, the whole “…maybe in the future” is either because she has another guy who she knows might not work out, and she’ll use you as back up OR again she just doesn’t want to hurt you and let you down all at once.

[schluck_specht]

Girls don’t leave relationships for “amazing pipe” bro…maybe in PornoLandia they do. MAYBE if the couple is 40-50 something, no physical or emotional attachment, the kids are moved away, she needs emotional connection AND finds the guy who wants to do it all the time, then maybe that would qualify.

[chris_ottawa]

@schluck_specht

Girls don’t leave relationships for “amazing pipe” bro

Just because you’re not the one with the amazing pipe doesn’t mean it’s not true.

[chris_ottawa]

Move on. Forget about her. There are plenty of other girls out there. Anyone who gets into an on/off relationship with regular breakups (which is what this would become if you get back together) ends up miserable. I wouldn’t even waste time talking to her anymore, put her stuff in the trash and ignore her.

[cnewstead]

@schluck_specht

I have to be honest…you sound like a super nice guy (which is part of the problem …but that’s a whole different convo) but you need to just move on.

You say you never ever fought? Well actually going against most everything that we men have been taught, that is not necessarily a sign of a completely healthy relationship. There is usually a bit more of the dynamic where there’s 1 or 2 big arguments, several little petty arguments and debates and then the “…I hate you…but come over and bang me” kind of argument.

You don’t want to hear this, but she probably wanted to leave before your bday but out of respect for you, she didn’t want to ruin that. Just stop calling her and move on. It will be hard, esp if she is one of the first women you’ve ever truly loved. BUT one thing that is terribly trite and extremely true is that YOU WILL LEARN from this and you will move on.

Oh and from my experience, the whole “…maybe in the future” is either because she has another guy who she knows might not work out, and she’ll use you as back up OR again she just doesn’t want to hurt you and let you down all at once.

Yeah I kinda thought she probably just waited it out past my birthday, which leaves a bad taste in my mouth tbh. It pains me to lose her and for her to say that “maybe in the future” stuff.

[cnewstead]

@chris_ottawa

Move on. Forget about her. There are plenty of other girls out there. Anyone who gets into an on/off relationship with regular breakups (which is what this would become if you get back together) ends up miserable. I wouldn’t even waste time talking to her anymore, put her stuff in the trash and ignore her.

You’re right man… I would be always wondering if she’ll leave me again.

[thefourthruffian]

@schluck_specht

Girls don’t leave relationships for “amazing pipe” bro…

This is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever read on the internet, and I read PWI with regularity.

[T3hPwnisher]

On the “false hope” thing…

It’s too easy to demonize the person doing it. Has anyone here ever delivered news that absolutely devestated another human? Did you try to do anything to soften the blow?

They train people who have to do this as a job, because it is HARD to just destroy someone with words like that. Don’t expect your exes to have that ability.

But also, false hope only happens if you hold out for it. Use pessimism and nihilism to your advantage. Decide for YOURSELF that there is no hope. It is liberating.

[dchris]

@T3hPwnisher

They train people who have to do this as a job

Is it sadistic to enjoy this?

[T3hPwnisher]

By definition, yes.

[dt79]

- YouTube

At the stroke of midnight, listen to this song with a candle burning and you will find the answers to all of life’s problems.

[mr.v3lv3t]

Alternatively, this.

Whitesnake - Here I Go Again