I guess I appreciate the sentiment, Edgy, but there’s the other issue - I’m apparently not supporting him enough and being there enough for him. And that isn’t okay, either.
[quote]MaximusB wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
compromise Hell ~
He’s wrong and She’s right.
She deserves her space and is allowed to have her feelings.
He needs to love and respect her as she is, roll with her ebb and flow of emotions and be there for her. support and encourage her. take care of her and help her to grow.
that’s what menz do~
And the real menz do it with a smile on thier faces.
:^)
(see?)[/quote]
Amen brother, it could not be said any better than this.
is it just me, or does it seem that I see more and more punk-ass guys who are dogging out their wimmenz? I am not talking about not being a man, but just treating women more and more like shit. Just an observation that I am seeing more and more, it’s fucking bullshit. [/quote]
No offense to young guys who have been raised right, like you Max, but that’s why slightly older men are better. There are very few men my age who were “raised right”.
[quote]Grneyes wrote:
[quote]MaximusB wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
compromise Hell ~
He’s wrong and She’s right.
She deserves her space and is allowed to have her feelings.
He needs to love and respect her as she is, roll with her ebb and flow of emotions and be there for her. support and encourage her. take care of her and help her to grow.
that’s what menz do~
And the real menz do it with a smile on thier faces.
:^)
(see?)[/quote]
Amen brother, it could not be said any better than this.
is it just me, or does it seem that I see more and more punk-ass guys who are dogging out their wimmenz? I am not talking about not being a man, but just treating women more and more like shit. Just an observation that I am seeing more and more, it’s fucking bullshit. [/quote]
No offense to young guys who have been raised right, like you Max, but that’s why slightly older men are better. There are very few men my age who were “raised right”.[/quote]
I can understand that Greeny, and thank you for the compliment.
I’ll keep my mouth shut on this marriage thing.
[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
[quote]Soulja874 wrote:
[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
Ive seen lots of fights…
never AN ACTUAL BODYSLAM LMAO
[/quote]
Dude you need to get into more schoolyard brawls. I’ve slammed someone in every fight I’ve ever been in. Not the smartest thing to do but it works lol.[/quote]
So, what you’re saying is you beat up little kids all day? And, you want me to join you?[/quote]
Sorta…
- We would go back into time and slam all who would oppose us.
- Invest in Starbucks, Microsoft, Google, and Apple.
- Find all the Surge and old school coke we can and smuggle it back with us
- ???
- Profit (literally)
Trainer at the gym used the term “anti-catabolic” when talking to a new client, as it is “the breaking down of muscle”. Good call, bro.
I LOL’d and kept walking…mad lulz in there
[quote]inkaddict wrote:
Trainer at the gym used the term “anti-catabolic” when talking to a new client, as it is “the breaking down of muscle”. Good call, bro.
I LOL’d and kept walking…mad lulz in there[/quote]
Ummm…isn’t your gym in your garage? So wouldn’t that trainer have been…you? 
[quote]Grneyes wrote:
[quote]inkaddict wrote:
Trainer at the gym used the term “anti-catabolic” when talking to a new client, as it is “the breaking down of muscle”. Good call, bro.
I LOL’d and kept walking…mad lulz in there[/quote]
Ummm…isn’t your gym in your garage? So wouldn’t that trainer have been…you? ;)[/quote]
Haha, I joined a commercial fancy gym recently, but still have my setup at home. It wasn’t me, I swear!
Got any tiger balm left greeny, or your cat eat it all?
(the ointment, not from IH)
[quote]inkaddict wrote:
[quote]Grneyes wrote:
[quote]inkaddict wrote:
Trainer at the gym used the term “anti-catabolic” when talking to a new client, as it is “the breaking down of muscle”. Good call, bro.
I LOL’d and kept walking…mad lulz in there[/quote]
Ummm…isn’t your gym in your garage? So wouldn’t that trainer have been…you? ;)[/quote]
Haha, I joined a commercial fancy gym recently, but still have my setup at home. It wasn’t me, I swear!
Got any tiger balm left greeny, or your cat eat it all?
(the ointment, not from IH) ;)[/quote]
LOL…I barely used any. She just licked the outside of the jar. I’m hoping IH will do my shoulders and upper back though.
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
I guess I appreciate the sentiment, Edgy, but there’s the other issue - I’m apparently not supporting him enough and being there enough for him. And that isn’t okay, either.[/quote]
What aren’t you supporting, if you don’t mind my asking? Were you not into this lifestyle prior to marriage? Were you not the same person whom he put a ring on? Is he not a competitor as well?
Awesome!
[quote]tootles27 wrote:
Awesome![/quote]
haha
Also…
I really doubt a child is going to save any marriage. While it may be the best thing to happen to any individual, I can’t imagine it isn’t going to strain an already stressed relationship apart.
Kids aren’t easy, particularly when you have to work to pay the bills.
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
[quote]tootles27 wrote:
Awesome![/quote]
haha
Also…
I really doubt a child is going to save any marriage. While it may be the best thing to happen to any individual, I can’t imagine it isn’t going to strain an already stressed relationship apart.
Kids aren’t easy, particularly when you have to work to pay the bills.[/quote]
Call me crazy, but I’ve seen kids tear apart people who were getting along fine. Unless you were related (gross), you were raised different and those things come into play when kids come along. I seriously doubt I would have ever been able to raise a kid with anyone. My word is law! ( :
More ((HUGS)) for PMPM…
I guess he didn’t see this far into the future when you started lifting. I’m sure he was happy and excited in the beginning? Does he have any sort of hobby that you could encourage him to pursue more?
There HAS TO BE a compromise somewhere. I would be PISSED if my hubby encouraged me to pursue something then changed his mind at the peak of it all.
Although I can imagine that he would be bitter about me spending extra time away from home, when we barely see each other without kids between us as it were.
But you don’t have kids! Do you go out on weekends and have date nights still?
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
[quote]tootles27 wrote:
Awesome![/quote]
haha
Also…
I really doubt a child is going to save any marriage. While it may be the best thing to happen to any individual, I can’t imagine it isn’t going to strain an already stressed relationship apart.
Kids aren’t easy, particularly when you have to work to pay the bills.[/quote]
I agree with Beans here. Biggest stressors on marriage are kids, money and family, in that order. Marriage is about compromise, is lifting the “other man” in your life?
[quote]mom-in-MD wrote:
More ((HUGS)) for PMPM…
I guess he didn’t see this far into the future when you started lifting. I’m sure he was happy and excited in the beginning? Does he have any sort of hobby that you could encourage him to pursue more?
There HAS TO BE a compromise somewhere. I would be PISSED if my hubby encouraged me to pursue something then changed his mind at the peak of it all.
Although I can imagine that he would be bitter about me spending extra time away from home, when we barely see each other without kids between us as it were.
But you don’t have kids! Do you go out on weekends and have date nights still?[/quote]
Part of it is I think he’s depressed. He used to be a competitor - a very good basketball player. Y’all know the injuries he’s had, so he went from sport spice to couch potato. He doesn’t like how he looks now. He works from home, and anymore, getting him out of the house is difficult. I have to plan dates.
I was not like this when we met. I was in school, so no real athletic competition or anything. Competitive, yes, but not outside the home, if that makes sense.
Me not supporting him = he feels like he does all the work at home, and that I can’t be relied on to do stuff when he asks. Not an invalid point, because I do get overwhelmed at work and spend the entire day before I look at my purse and think, “fuck, he asked me to call/followup on ___, and I didn’t. Fuck.” Also, as for the homefront, he wants things very clean, and I am a slob. I’m thrilled that I put away food so the animals don’t eat it from the table - this is a huge step up compared to how I grew up.
And Chris, thanks for keeping your non-married mouth shut.
I think he’s lonely, and when I leave him to go to the gym, he feels more abandoned. He pressures me to move back to NY with him, where his family is, because he is close to his family and I am not close to mine. But I kind of hate NY, and while I love his family, moving out there would mean giving up my career (they don’t have the same sort of law that I practice) and leaving my home. I can’t really imagine living anywhere but CO.
Kids will sometimes keep a family together, but it is temporary, and it doesn’t make the living more tolerable.
with an aging athlete having his wife eclipse his athletic career is probably hard on him, but as ADULT MEN we overcome this…and sometimes having children helps to divert attention away from the singular issue and helps to have the two parents coalesce into a united front…sometimes.
AND…I’ve seen wives get involved in some activity (like PL) only to have thier husbands join in and ruin the fun, or take over thier training, even though it is obvious that they are NOT qualified to be making training decisions…I’ve witnessed this over the last 10 years or so.
Relationships are incredibly difficult, there is no textbook fix for any issue.
BUT. It does take two to make it happen, and like anything else, both have to want it to happen…even then, it’s a struggle.
anyways…my $.02
[quote]Edgy wrote:
Kids will sometimes keep a family together, but it is temporary, and it doesn’t make the living more tolerable.
with an aging athlete having his wife eclipse his athletic career is probably hard on him, but as ADULT MEN we overcome this…and sometimes having children helps to divert attention away from the singular issue and helps to have the two parents coalesce into a united front…sometimes.
AND…I’ve seen wives get involved in some activity (like PL) only to have thier husbands join in and ruin the fun, or take over thier training, even though it is obvious that they are NOT qualified to be making training decisions…I’ve witnessed this over the last 10 years or so.
Relationships are incredibly difficult, there is no textbook fix for any issue.
BUT. It does take two to make it happen, and like anything else, both have to want it to happen…even then, it’s a struggle.
anyways…my $.02[/quote]
X 2. Nothing to add other than I’m impressed with the eloquent suggestions from a viking.
Morning guys.
I hear you PMPM, in regards to him wanting to move closer to his family while you’re not that close with yours. I’m not close with my family (even though I work for my dad’s company, I still have more of a “boss” than a “dad” but anyway…) and would love to leave AZ but my wife wouldn’t ever want to leave and be far from her family.
We seriously considered moving at one point, but she just can’t bring herself to leave her family because she’s always been so close to hers. Me? Leaving the house at 18 to join the Marines got me out and away and I’ve never “needed” my family so it’s way different.
It sucks that he can’t support you and push you to greatness (which we all know is possible with you, ya friggin beast!) because he’ll feel left alone and behind. Does he have something that he’s passionate about, that he could pursue while you ‘supported’ him?
I’ve felt bad for getting deeper into weight training and powerlifting, because it seems like my wife’s been left behind or alone at times, but she likes running and I try and push her (not forcefully) to get out and do that while I stay with the kids to give her time to herself which she would never say she wants but I know is needed for her sanity.
And to echo what was said about kids being hard on a marriage, that’s the damn truth!