[quote]roybot wrote:
Jupiter Ascending - Phantom Menace level sci-fi. A series of repetitive sets-pieces tied together with nonsense about galactic corporations seeding planets with intelligent life to cultivate an elixir of youth – think an evil Olay with a product that actually works-- and ‘genetic destiny’; the latter being a core theme in Cloud Atlas. Can’t help thinking that it’s influenced on some level by Lana (formerly Larry) Wachowski’s life-choices.
Eddie Redmayne’s preening space-twat alternates between throaty whispers and larynx destroying shit fits even though we are told that Channing Tatum’s albino wolf/ man hybrid tore his throat out prior to the start of the movie.
Far too many influences in the mix for any one idea to make a lasting impression. [/quote]
So you are saying that it is a steamy pile of shit? [/quote]
Yes. It’s not as steamy as the Matrix sequels, but it’s pretty bad. From what I can tell, the major incentive for people to see this is to find out how Sean Bean’s character will die.
[quote]roybot wrote:
Jupiter Ascending - Phantom Menace level sci-fi. A series of repetitive sets-pieces tied together with nonsense about galactic corporations seeding planets with intelligent life to cultivate an elixir of youth – think an evil Olay with a product that actually works-- and ‘genetic destiny’; the latter being a core theme in Cloud Atlas. Can’t help thinking that it’s influenced on some level by Lana (formerly Larry) Wachowski’s life-choices.
Eddie Redmayne’s preening space-twat alternates between throaty whispers and larynx destroying shit fits even though we are told that Channing Tatum’s albino wolf/ man hybrid tore his throat out prior to the start of the movie.
Far too many influences in the mix for any one idea to make a lasting impression. [/quote]
So you are saying that it is a steamy pile of shit? [/quote]
Everything these two have done has been steaming piles including the origianl matrix, which was just rehashed shite that had been done better(blade did bullet time before matrix just saying). [/quote]
This looks absolutely horrible. I enjoyed the first Matrix, but they completely stole all of the major (and most of the minor) ideas from the comic “The Invisibles”. Part 2 was unwatchabley bad, and after that I vowed to never watch one of their movies again. How they keep getting hundreds of millions of dollars (reread that for emphasis) to make unwatchable garbage blows my mind.[/quote]
They also ripped off '70s German TV sci-fi World on a Wire. The Wachowski’s even rehash plot ideas from their earlier movies: the genetic reincarnation concept has already appeared in The Matrix and Cloud Atlas and the life-draining villains of Jupiter Ascending are explained to be the cause of the vampire legend (see Monica Bellucci’s character in The Matrix: Reloaded).
The new ideas range from mercenary (dragon men in leather trench coats are just a cool action figure idea) to heavy-handed (they bludgeon the audience with the idea that ancient cultures perceived spacefaring human/animal hybrids as beast-gods - just in case anybody misses it, they named the dude with the elephant head ‘Nesh’).
[quote]roybot wrote:
Jupiter Ascending - Phantom Menace level sci-fi. A series of repetitive sets-pieces tied together with nonsense about galactic corporations seeding planets with intelligent life to cultivate an elixir of youth – think an evil Olay with a product that actually works-- and ‘genetic destiny’; the latter being a core theme in Cloud Atlas. Can’t help thinking that it’s influenced on some level by Lana (formerly Larry) Wachowski’s life-choices.
Eddie Redmayne’s preening space-twat alternates between throaty whispers and larynx destroying shit fits even though we are told that Channing Tatum’s albino wolf/ man hybrid tore his throat out prior to the start of the movie.
Far too many influences in the mix for any one idea to make a lasting impression. [/quote]
So you are saying that it is a steamy pile of shit? [/quote]
Everything these two have done has been steaming piles including the origianl matrix, which was just rehashed shite that had been done better(blade did bullet time before matrix just saying). [/quote]
The only movie of theirs I couldn’t suffer through was Speed Racer. I’d imagine that’s what a Mario Kart movie would look like if they’d done a sequel to the 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie.
[quote]roybot wrote:
Jupiter Ascending - Phantom Menace level sci-fi. A series of repetitive sets-pieces tied together with nonsense about galactic corporations seeding planets with intelligent life to cultivate an elixir of youth – think an evil Olay with a product that actually works-- and ‘genetic destiny’; the latter being a core theme in Cloud Atlas. Can’t help thinking that it’s influenced on some level by Lana (formerly Larry) Wachowski’s life-choices.
Eddie Redmayne’s preening space-twat alternates between throaty whispers and larynx destroying shit fits even though we are told that Channing Tatum’s albino wolf/ man hybrid tore his throat out prior to the start of the movie.
Far too many influences in the mix for any one idea to make a lasting impression. [/quote]
So you are saying that it is a steamy pile of shit? [/quote]
Yes. It’s not as steamy as the Matrix sequels, but it’s pretty bad. From what I can tell, the major incentive for people to see this is to find out how Sean Bean’s character will die.
[/quote]
Lol, I would not watch this at the movies, this is an Itunes rental for sure.
I can’t really tell you why I made the effort. I usually avoid Channing Tatum movies like the plague. I think he’s a vastly overrated actor (a few years ago I thought he was terrible so he must’ve improved…), but he was one of the best actors in JA. He pulled off the haunted half-albino wolf/human hybrid stereotype with gruff aplomb and a complete lack of irony. It didn’t matter because there was no weight to the narrative. Just a jumble of ideas floating around in zero-g.
I can’t really tell you why I made the effort. I usually avoid Channing Tatum movies like the plague. I think he’s a vastly overrated actor (a few years ago I thought he was terrible so he must’ve improved…), but he was one of the best actors in JA. He pulled off the haunted half-albino wolf/human hybrid stereotype with gruff aplomb and a complete lack of irony. It didn’t matter because there was no weight to the narrative. Just a jumble of ideas floating around in zero-g.
[/quote]
I heard he did a good job in Foxcatcher although I have yet to see it.
I can’t really tell you why I made the effort. I usually avoid Channing Tatum movies like the plague. I think he’s a vastly overrated actor (a few years ago I thought he was terrible so he must’ve improved…), but he was one of the best actors in JA. He pulled off the haunted half-albino wolf/human hybrid stereotype with gruff aplomb and a complete lack of irony. It didn’t matter because there was no weight to the narrative. Just a jumble of ideas floating around in zero-g.
[/quote]
I heard he did a good job in Foxcatcher although I have yet to see it.[/quote]
My son wanted to see Hot Tub Time Machine 2. Told him if he paid, I’d take him. Unfortunately, I didn’t say he had to pay me for the two hours of my time I’ll never get back. So stupid, but not in the “so stupid it’s funny” kind of way. The first one had all the 80’s references at least. This is just garbage.
[quote]doogie wrote:
My son wanted to see Hot Tub Time Machine 2. Told him if he paid, I’d take him. Unfortunately, I didn’t say he had to pay me for the two hours of my time I’ll never get back. So stupid, but not in the “so stupid it’s funny” kind of way. The first one had all the 80’s references at least. This is just garbage.[/quote]
The commercial with making references to the American Revolution and a black guy not being welcome there just turned me off. Clearly they’ve never heard of Crispus Attucks, or later on Frederick Douglas
[quote]doogie wrote:
My son wanted to see Hot Tub Time Machine 2. Told him if he paid, I’d take him. Unfortunately, I didn’t say he had to pay me for the two hours of my time I’ll never get back. So stupid, but not in the “so stupid it’s funny” kind of way. The first one had all the 80’s references at least. This is just garbage.[/quote]
Thought the first one was awful. One of the few movies I’ve thought about walking out of as an adult. Couldn’t pay me to watch the sequel.
