Mim, ya hottie. Thanks for reading! 
Veggie, thanks. I’m glad to share this journey for whoever is reading. And thanks on the avi. I was worried my liberal friends on facebook think I’m a redneck, and I’m worried my PW friends here think my legs are too skinny. How’s that for an ugly journey into my head!
omg, a colleague at this uber-nerd conference told me his wife is a (bodybuilder) figure athlete! WTF! What a surprise and delight!
5/3/1 deadlift day, cycle 2, week 1. NO bar available. Training max 180 lbs
Deadlift substitutes
One legged dumbbell deadlifts
1x5 35, 40, 45 1x10 50. <that’s all they had. 50s. sad face oh, wait, that’s a 10 RM. happy Felt these in my back, hams, calves. I always have a lot of trouble with the balance on these due to skinny pony calves, but they feel terrific.
Smith machine deadlift rack pull experiment
1x5 95 and 105 < ok, this was really interesting. You can’t pull the bar back, so I put my shins closer to the bar than usual and hump my hips forward. It made me think a lot about where the bar is relative to my shins, feet, butt, etc. I wouldn’t recommend these, but I will take the body-feel lessons and try to glean something.
Accessory (machines) < I’m not putting weights here because what’s the point? Machines are so different.
leg extensions 5x10
ham curls 4x10 with a drop set
leg press 2x10 < this is literally the second time I’ve ever done leg presses. I didn’t like them. Why not squat?
Have a beautiful day, y’all.