Update:
Just gonna come out and say it…
I’m preggers!!! I hadn’t realized I was for about 3 weeks. Realized something was kind of off when I started experiencing tender breasts fairly consistently, and my sense of smell went through the roof (cleaning products are the worst right now). Then it was confirmed when I missed a period. Took a test two nights ago and yay! So it’s almost been two months.
Everything has been going fairly well. It’s difficult for me to do much of anything in the gym without feeling the urge to throw up. Ive been just walking at a super slow pace, or taking a dip in the pool. My last therapy session was awesome. I wanted to make sure that I’m not even remotely feeling any type of way towards my body, or about food. And I haven’t been. Most of my attention is focused on the little person growing in here, and my husband (who has been reading parenting books non-stop lol). I’m not really hungry much at all, but I eat around every 4-5 hours consistently, even through the night. Nothing sugary, or super carb heavy. And as far as macros and whatever else goes I don’t care. I don’t care to weigh myself, either. Both of us are simply enjoying the food, and enjoying the journey.
I had to get a couple of shots concerning my blood type because apparently me and Kelby’s Rh factors don’t match up, and it could possibly cause issues. So that’s done and fixed. I was daydreaming one day and came up with a girl name. Kelby thought of the boy name.
I wasnt scared or anything though. I had spoken a few times here about how I was always afraid to have a kid. Or any kids really. But fear is the last thing I feel. If anything I feel even more hopeful and optimistic than ever, as if I wasn’t a shit ton already before. And I’m happy. Hubby is also through the roof with joy, but also insanely nervous lol. But I understand. I think it’s awesome how he’s preparing in his own special way though. We spend a lot of nights now just talking about how we feel, whatever potential issues we worry about. Who we think is gonna be the disciplinary parent, who we think is gonna be the cool parent lol. Things we experienced as kids that we just WONT DO with our kid, etc. Stuff of that nature.
There’s been a giant rift in the family though since the news got out, and amongst a few folks my husband and I both considered friends. Key word: CONSIDERED. Essentially… both of our moms and brothers are hella excited about the good news. Our fathers however…aren’t. The last conversation I had with my dad ended terribly. But I’m not in the wrong. This is not my fault. There is no fault to even be had. I don’t wish to talk to him. I’m not initiating anything. Whatever help he was giving us, I don’t care if it stops. We haven’t done anything except live our lives, and bring a beautiful tiny person into this world, who will grow up to be someone who will carry on the memories of mom and dad, and get to experience life, and love, and friendships, and hardships, and get to be human.
Same thing goes for his dad as well. I already didn’t have much of any sort of relationship with him, but at least his dad is smart enough to be quiet around me. Granted Kelby doesn’t withhold much from me, and whatever his parents tell him, I inevitably know, because he likes to vent to me. Be they good or bad things said.
His mom and my mom, however, haven’t stopped making me things, buying me things, telling me to do this this and that, giving me tummy rubs, lol. And so they are the ones that I choose to keep around me. I experience nothing but love and nurturing from both of them. As it should be.
I really don’t want to go into detail as to what our “ex-friends” said, but this is about the only place I feel comfortable doing so. Essentially a conversation bloomed about the topic of “mixed-marriages”, to which I asked, “what the fuck is a mixed-marriage anyways?” Fast forward to an opinion had by the guy of the couple we had been knowing for nearly two years now, who said something about the potential for future stress of our child concerning the “nature of their parents culture”. I knew what He meant. He said it in the most idiotic way possible, but I fucking knew. Now…my husband isn’t loud. Given the chance he will go in the other room, fall asleep, or play games on his phone. He’s very much a wall-flower. Very reserved. In certain situations, he won’t even speak if he feels no inclination to do so, outside of a “Hi, my name is”, and a handshake. Aside from me, his family, and my mom, he doesn’t say much to anyone. The few close knit friendships we have he will come to life in conversation, but again, it’s rare, and he doesn’t form friendships quickly whatsoever. But when that situation happened, I’ve never seen such a quiet man, blow up like volcanic activity. Something straight out of a natural disaster movie. Usually we’re good for just taking the high road, and dismissing ourselves without causing a scene when these situations happen, but these people were supposed to be our friends. Our supporters. Folks we could trust. All of us were yelling and arguing, and I’m not proud of anything that happened. But I am proud that my husband always has my back. He is however…hella scary when he’s THAT upset.
Needless to say, we’re not running this time. We will be moving next year, but that’s solely for a bigger apartment since we will be needing it. In the past we have moved twice because of instances like the former, but we’re done running. We’re done apologizing. Like…that’s it. Guns out. Period.
On a lighter note, I told my super close friend/coworker about the news, and she now gives me pieces of candy every chance she gets at work lol. Which I just think is the absolute sweetest thing ever. And I eat every last one of them 
All in all, I’m quite excited, but above all I’m just thankful. Both of us are. Above all, I just want them to eventually see that adversity is everywhere, but love conquers all things. And hopefully they see that in mom and dad, and give that same love back out to the world.
