As per the post I made here:
You read it right.
Just to recap. I did make it to the last powerlifting meet I had my eyes on. Which was hosted at my own powerlifting garage with TBS (Texas Barbell Syndicate. I’ll have to find our Instagram page because we had two other teams competing with us, and I can’t remember their names. Titan was one of them? Not entirely sure). I had to SQUEEZE every last bit of training time I had. Meet was Open, raw w/ wraps, and single ply. Edit: Was in the single ply and 83kgs weight class (placement wise).
September I couldn’t get a hold of my injuries and powered through a bunch of pain and stiffness. I also got dropped by a coach I had really high hopes with training under for a while at least until next year, and on top of all that I was still fighting through my own emotional and mental battles. The meet deadline was moving closer, and I just said screw it I’m doing this. I know I didn’t peak properly, my diet was all over the place, and quite frankly, I felt like all the years of training came down to a single night where I mostly was just winging it.
Best lifts:
Squat:
1st attempt: 460 miss
2nd attempt: 450 2WL
3rd attempt: 455 miss
2nd attempt was counted/final
Bench:
1st attempt: 195 all white
2nd attempt: 210 2WL
3rd attempt: 220 2WL
3rd attempt was counted/final
Deadlift:
1st attempt: 335 all white
2nd attempt: 355 2WL
3rd attempt: 395 2WL
3rd attempt was counted/final
Overall I wasn’t entirely comfortable with this meet. For the most part, I wasn’t too confident sharing, but I figured why not. Here is where I feel most comfortable to share. I haven’t been at this gym for long and I just felt out of place the entire time. There were a lot of supportive people there and cheering, but I just felt very alone. I felt weird having gear that I didn’t pay for, trying to get mildly proficient with single ply in a short time frame, had to borrow things (suit, wraps), I felt weird that I didn’t sit with any groups either.
I think between the pressure, and wanting to succeed I pushed myself incredibly hard into the deep end. No new injuries, but I’ve never felt this burned out before. Work had been an utter drag, and it was taking a min to regulate. Afterwards I was super thankful for the WFH position, and hubby and I moving into our new place as well. I spent most of my days at the computer or sleeping. Didn’t step outside for over a month. Biggest struggle was deloading. In my head, I was still at the meet. I had finally managed to take a deload, and deload I did.
After the last lifter I just thanked everyone, gave a few hugs and left. I think this was the point where I was approaching being utterly obsessed and consumed with chasing numbers. I couldn’t stop comparing myself, and couldn’t find much of any mental grounding.
In that same vein though….like damn. Look at far I’ve come. Never would I have ever imagined I’d do these things. And for that, I can silence all the crap in my head and just say I’m proud of myself.
[Highlight reels] (idk if link is working on my end)
All in all, I can say I did something with the hopes and dreams I had for powerlifting. It wasn’t anything like what I imagined, but simultaneously better and worse. Also single ply is pretty damn cool.
But hearing the voices of people I’ve never met screaming at me to lockout and push. That was my favorite memory. No one gave a damn about my mishaps. They just wanted to see someone strong do what they do.
Of course I’m still gonna be my usual heavy (ish) lifting self, of course with a much more different set-up, and just getting better at other things, but the few meets I’ve done let me know I have it in me to whatever I set my mind to, and that it truly is just me against me. Out of everyone there, the only person who was hard on myself…was me.