As for training I did hit two PRs.
Broke the 400lbs barrier for squat (402 best). Finally lol.
Made it to 220lbs bench (made lockout, but form was hella shoddy)
Made it to 185lbs OHP.
I am absolutely proud of myself for these decent accomplishments. Never thought I’d be able to do anything like this.
However my recovery (mental health) is still not where I want it to be. And I’ve come to realize that my pursuit of strength is getting in the way of me recovering properly. It is not allowing me to do what I need to do by way of my relationship with food.
I am simply eating too much. And I’m coping with that in my usual disordered eating. Most days are good, but the bad days are bad.
I cannot get better unless I prioritize. My therapist can suggest all the best techniques to me, but it’s squandered if it’s not my priority.
So….
Essentially, your gal Cybertron is gonna be putting the super heavy numbers on the back burner for a while. Of course I’ll still be here and participate in the yearly challenges, but my training will be different. Strength will be there, but for maintaining as of now.
There’s tons of conditioning activities I wanna dive into. I suck at cardio so this’ll be nice just
getting good at breathing heavy and sweating.
Overall I’m still doing okay though. I’m just happy that I am listening to my needs and being honest with myself.