I have never heard so many euphemisms for poo in my life.
[quote]WolBarret wrote:
Christine wrote:
WolBarret wrote:
Christine wrote:
WolBarret wrote:
I make blueberry muffins every Sunday and send them to the local orphanage. I’m a shy and quiet man.
Are you trying to tell me that blueberry muffins are superior to pancakes now?
You would be right, you know.
I’m saying Blue Berry muffins are awesome. And this is something we can agree on. Strange. Enemies have found a common ground.
It’s about time you admitted that waffles were more wondrous than boringcakes.
Kudos!
Whoa! Hold the presses.
I said Blueberry Muffins are awesome. I never said that those abominations called Waffles are any good. I guess we’re enemies again.
Pancakes For Ever!
Waffles…NEVER! (And how we went from vibrators to muffins to pancakes is beyond me.)
[/quote]
It’s called the start to a good day 
[quote]Christine wrote:
lostinthought wrote:
Christine wrote:
OctoberGirl wrote:
haha!!! noooooo it was sad. It was just obvious she was not all there. Always mumbling to herself and even arguing with herself.
I talk to myself.
I even argue sometimes.
I hate it when I’m wrong.
I LOVE a good argument with myself. The make up sex is awesome.
must be why I keep breaking the bunnies.
[/quote]
Sometimes you just have to spend the extra dough and go heavy duty.
[quote]lostinthought wrote:
Christine wrote:
lostinthought wrote:
Christine wrote:
OctoberGirl wrote:
haha!!! noooooo it was sad. It was just obvious she was not all there. Always mumbling to herself and even arguing with herself.
I talk to myself.
I even argue sometimes.
I hate it when I’m wrong.
I LOVE a good argument with myself. The make up sex is awesome.
must be why I keep breaking the bunnies.
Sometimes you just have to spend the extra dough and go heavy duty. [/quote]
SYBIAN FTW!!!
[quote]imhungry wrote:
lostinthought wrote:
Christine wrote:
lostinthought wrote:
Christine wrote:
OctoberGirl wrote:
haha!!! noooooo it was sad. It was just obvious she was not all there. Always mumbling to herself and even arguing with herself.
I talk to myself.
I even argue sometimes.
I hate it when I’m wrong.
I LOVE a good argument with myself. The make up sex is awesome.
must be why I keep breaking the bunnies.
Sometimes you just have to spend the extra dough and go heavy duty.
SYBIAN FTW!!!
http://sybian.cdgirls.com/[/quote]
Now that’s what I call heavy duty.
Carlitosway, i couldnt stand up and read your post. i laughed so hard i cried.
I worked in one big facility that had a phantom pooper on the 3rd (turd!) shift. It would show up EVERYWHERE. On things, in things. The worst I heard of was in a sealed plastic tote box that was opened DAYS later. They never found out who and it stopped after the 3rd shift folded up.
Electricians are famous for dumping in spackle buckets at job sites. They scoop out some spackle, do the deed and put the spackle back in the bucket. So the dry waller has no clue until he dips in the trowel.
I have a phantom pooper (but everyone knows who she is) in the family, married to my poor brother. She was in the habit of leaving “fudge dragons” (I love it!)in people’s yards while visiting. She’s a real sick ticket to the core and is on the DO NOT INVITE list to many of my wife’s family functions.
A few years ago on Xmas, she came in from outside and told me that she just peed outside. I asked “where” and she said, “you’ll find it”. It had snowed recently and I did find it, right in sight from anyone looking out the front windows. And I have 3 bathrooms in my house.
Back to the gym. I really have no problem with anyone there. Some people do sweat like clydesdales on crack, but they keep it to themselves. I have walked into a few fart clouds of Hiroshima quality, always in the vicinity of all-female exercisors. What is with that? Never when a guy is around unless he crop dusts and runs.
BG
[quote]dianab wrote:
OK, tonight takes the proverbial cake. Someone crapped in a shower stall. In the women’s locker room. It’s twice in the past week the mystery shitter has hit us up. WTF is wrong with people??? And how are we going to figure out who is doing this disgusting deed?
All we know is that is happened after the 8 pm class finished and before 10 pm. More than 30 women checked in during that time period. I have suspicions but can’t prove it.
So what would you do (aside from NEVER using the showers again)?[/quote]
For being the “softer” sex, women treat public facilities like worse than swine. Thats actually insulting the tasty, sometimes too cute, creatures. I too have been privy to such actions. I guess she couldn’t hold it in and just shat standing there. Figured some poor janitor would clean up after her, because after all she’s a woman and deserves that and more.
[quote]beachguy498 wrote:
I have a phantom pooper (but everyone knows who she is) in the family, married to my poor brother. She was in the habit of leaving “fudge dragons” (I love it!)in people’s yards while visiting. She’s a real sick ticket to the core and is on the DO NOT INVITE list to many of my wife’s family functions.
A few years ago on Xmas, she came in from outside and told me that she just peed outside. I asked “where” and she said, “you’ll find it”. It had snowed recently and I did find it, right in sight from anyone looking out the front windows. And I have 3 bathrooms in my house.
BG[/quote]
That is not normal human behavior. She needs to be under a doctors care. Jesus.
after five pages no one has suggested that just MAYBE the said dooky was actually carried into the locker room and then tossed into the shower.
anyway… every saturday morning is ME squat day at the gym for our lifting team. We usually get to the gym at 9 but the actual training doesn’t start until close to 10 because we all have to drop the kids off first. The only problem is that none of us actually have to go when we get there. We just know that during that 40 minutes or so leading up to the working sets that we will all have to drop a deuce. So we all just wonder around until the mood strikes.
Well… a month or so ago we were taking our turns in the single men’s bathroom near the squat racks. I was second in line for the dooky drop on this given saturday. my buddy dave came stroll’n out with a newly revived spring in his step. I was slowly making my way to the crapper when this skinny little dude jumped in there before me.
He wasn’t in there very long and then i made it in. As i was getting ready to take the throne I noticed that the toilet brush holder right next to the toilet was filled to the rim with piss and the brush was laying across the toilet. I immidiately stormed out of the bathroom. I thought my buddy dave had pulled some sick joke on me.
Dave played dumb and actually went into the bathroom because he didn’t believe me. We then both looked at each other and then over at that skinny little guy over on the lat pulldown.
I told Dave that I would go talk to the guy. I went up to the guy and in my loudest speaking voice said “Hey… why did you piss in the toilet bowl brush holder??” The guy must have been foreign or just retarded because he says back to me- " I thought that was to pee in… I couldn’t figure out how to flush it though".
I laughed and told him how stupid he was and to go in there and dump that shit in the toilet and then get some cleaning supplies from the front desk and clean that thing out real good.
The entire gym watched this dumbass go back there and clean the toilet bowl brush holder.
You can’t make this kinda shit up.
My first 2 years in college, I lived together with another guy and 10 girls in one house. You couldn’t believe the filth and rubbish that was lying around. Sinks filth with mountains of dirty dishes, cooking pots, and what not collected over several weeks, if not months, showers clotted with hair, dirty underwear,…
They even can’t tell the difference between what’s filthy or bad aThere was this girl that mistook a defrosting sausage for a
[quote]imhungry wrote:
That is not normal human behavior. She needs to be under a doctors care. Jesus.[/quote]
Oh you have no idea. Unemployable, unpredictable and that’s the nice things about her. But she’s filthy rich (inherited $$) so she’s skating along. There are many stories I could tell that nobody would believe.
BG
[quote]beachguy498 wrote:
imhungry wrote:
That is not normal human behavior. She needs to be under a doctors care. Jesus.
Oh you have no idea. Unemployable, unpredictable and that’s the nice things about her. But she’s filthy rich (inherited $$) so she’s skating along. There are many stories I could tell that nobody would believe.
BG
[/quote]
How the hell does your brother put up with it?
Does she have any redeeming qualities?
I remember I was in this hole once for three days with three other guys. We couldn’t move out of the whole for that time, so when we had to piss or shit, we had to go in plastic bags, and store the bags in our rucksacks till we got to a base. Good times.
However, this was in a theoretical war time scenario in enemy territory, not the showers.
[quote]imhungry wrote:
beachguy498 wrote:
imhungry wrote:
That is not normal human behavior. She needs to be under a doctors care. Jesus.
Oh you have no idea. Unemployable, unpredictable and that’s the nice things about her. But she’s filthy rich (inherited $$) so she’s skating along. There are many stories I could tell that nobody would believe.
BG
How the hell does your brother put up with it?
Does she have any redeeming qualities?[/quote]
Well, he doesn’t have to work either. He’s been unemployed for 9 years now, works at odd times doing accounting work. They have 2 big houses, travel all over and go to sh**loads of concerts.
Redeeming qualities? None that I or anyone else have been able to identify. Maybe the sex at home is out of this world, but I can’t even get a visual on it with her.
BG
I went to this campsite a few months ago. On the door to the toilets there was a note.
Said note was a complaint about a person who had shat twice on the floor of the men’s room and shoved shit into the box containing the TP.
That’s some nasty stuff…
[quote]lloydk wrote:
Typical girl stuff. Girls shit everywhere and leave their used tampons and pads everywhere, smeared on walls, you name it. Girls have got to be the messiest creatures on the planet. I’m surprised they don’t secretly shit all over the place and roll in it.[/quote]
You got that right mate. Years as a cinema usher who has to clean the toilets has taught me that females are filthy creatures. If I wasn’t a rampant heterosexual it would almost be enough to turn me off women.
[quote]radovan wrote:
Carlitosway, i couldnt stand up and read your post. i laughed so hard i cried.[/quote]
I remember like it was yesterday. I swear bro no ducktales it was a true story. I forgot to add since this was a mexican party(you know my people multiply like crazy n stuff) there was like a hundred kids running around. My uncle kept asking every little kid to clean it up, any one who was curious enough to checkout the commotion LOL. Everyone pretty much said no like me and just GTFO ha.
Also this brings another story to light. My youngest brother, who at the time was probably like 10-11 loved to play video games. I mean he was a game freak and still is. Super nintendo was his fav back then. Well I guess one night he was up playing all night and he decided his ass was to lazy to walk downstairs to the bathroom. So he grabbed one of my lil nike shoe boxes and pooped right inside of it.
Well long story short. I remember one morning looking for something under my bed (we slept in the same room). I smelled something funky I was like “Wtf is that smell?!?!”. I saw a shoebox and it looked wet on the bottom, I grab and open it and there’s like 3 turds just chillin’ in there. I knew right away it had to have been my younger brother. I interrogated that muhfucka. His excuse was that it was real late, dark and he was scared to walk downstairs to the bathroom.
I also remember another story. About me though. I probably was like 15 at the time. I must have had stomach issues one day, cause I remember leaving school and was walking. Halfway home I had an insatiable urge to go bad. Freakin’ had that like that turtle head action going nawmean? So I tried clenching my buttcheeks hard like I was in prison and tried walking superfast.
Well I didn’t make it I splat in my underwear. I panicked ran up to my room. Looked out my window and saw the trashcan below. I tore off my undies and attempted to throw them out a window. Just as I was doing this my two younger brothers came walking up to the house seeing this and were like “WTF?” Then they found the shit stained underwear. Until this day (8 years later), I still get shit for it LOL.
Then my youngest brother for the longest time seemed to not understand the concept of wiping his ass good after taking a dump. He just smelled like crap all the time playing double dragon and street fighter on snes. He said he was always in a hurry to get back to playing games so him wiping his ass wasn’t a priority I guess.
i worked at a movie theatre for 2 or 3 years. Every now and again a woman would shit in a stall and rub it around on the walls, on the toilet, on the stall and on the ground.
Never happened in the mens. The worse thing that happened in the guys bathroom is some dad hit his son. no visible markings or blood so he must have just spanked the fuck out of him.
and i let out a gnarly pyroclastic flow front squating today. I had to vacate the area even though it was 6am and i was basically by myself