[quote]lewhitehurst wrote:
Without knowing your brother, I am wise enough to know that when someone asks, “Do you want my opinion?” they are looking to be an ass 99% of the time.
[/quote]
THISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHIS
[quote]lewhitehurst wrote:
[quote]ghost87 wrote:
[quote]lewhitehurst wrote:
[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
[quote]lewhitehurst wrote:
[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
your brother has no business giving his opinion, let along getting into an argument with your wife, relative to medical decisions or how they are raised. he’s in the wrong. period.
[/quote]
Bullshit, BG. He asked the OP’s wife if she wanted it and she said “yes.” Based upon what the OP, LATER revealed, it appears that the brother was being a dick, but based upon the OP’s initial post, which you quoted; his wife opened that can of worms.[/quote]
She can open a can of worms fine. But his brother has no place yelling her down and what not. None. I’m all for being the head of the house and all that, but the ONLY person yelling at my woman is ME - not some other man and not my fucking brother. He crossed a line and I don’t care who’s house he was in. No one is a “dick” to my woman.
Wouldn’t you agree with that?
And do ya really think the wife sauntered into the house one day and said, “hey brother-in-law, what do ya think about our parenting and medical decisions?” C’mon Lew, I’m sure sure BIL was making comments, itching to have the discussion.
You know how passive/aggressive motherfuckers are, we have some right here. [/quote]
Yeah, but shouldn’t she be aware enough of him and how he is to know what was coming? We live in the real world and if both the OP and his wife are so unaware as to what was coming, maybe I can convince them to buy this nice used bridge in Brooklyn I heard about.
And like I said, you quoted what he said at first, not the additional info where he referenced his brother’s behavior and personality. The original post is what people were making suggestions on, NOT the additional info. [/quote]
I am the original poster. It’s difficult to write everything in one post.
Here’s the situation: my brother and my sister were in another room discussing my kids. My brother asked “Do you want my opinion?” My wife said yes ((she now knows this was a mistake). My brother went off on our discipline style. When he was finished, my wife asked if she could respond. As she started in, he cut her off and continued. This escalated the situation in which my brother said he didn’t want to hear anymore. He told me to get her out of the house. I refused and the argument escalated into the “drugging” of our kids. I realize everyone has an opinion on this but for the sake of this post let’s assume a couple things- we’ve done everything in our power to not use medication and that I’m pretty tough as a parent. In fact, we are making tremendous progress through the meds and discipline/ targeted behaviorial therapy. We can argue all day, and to the cows come, about meds.
I hear what you are saying about me being the head of the household and reaching back out. After my wife’s apology on text, email and phone, I feel the ball in his court. I cant post my wife’s email with her apology, but it was heartfelt.
One thing I didn’t add,as well, my brother has a long history of creating drama. When I told my other sibling that left my brothers house, he instinctively knew. My sibling asked, “let me guess, an argument was started by our brother?” [/quote]
Without knowing your brother, I am wise enough to know that when someone asks, “Do you want my opinion?” they are looking to be an ass 99% of the time. If your wife knew he was like this, she played right into it. Unless I missed it, I didn’t see whether you said she knew how he was. I am definitely not condoning your brother’s behavior, based upon the information you added, but in all the time you were together; are you saying your wife didn’t know he was a jerk? My SO’s older brother and parents are jerks and she has told me on several occasions. While I have not met them as of yet, I do know what I can look forward to when I DO finally meet him. Are you saying you didn’t warn your wife about him?
After you told us the full details, I understand EXACTLY why you reacted the way you did, but my point is, you can’t ask for advice that is going to help, if you decide not to put it all out there. Nobody’s trying to be nosy (at least I’m not)and as long as you make things anonymous enough, unless it’s someone that knows you intimately; none of us will have a clue who you are outside of TN, anyway.
[/quote]
Again, I’m the original poster.
Thanks again. I didnt put all the details out there the first time for two reasons - brevity and anonymity. I should have put all the details out there the first time. Yes, my wife still feels bad. She was being " nice" but knowing my brother, it was not going to end well. She should have just said “no thanks” but knowing my brother, he would have gotten pissed about even that response. To be honest, there’s a little part of me that wants to make phone call but the other part of me says “enough of the negativity from him” We are in a struggle, but making progress with my kids. If my brother wants to be a part of our lives, he can do so. Funny, my brother recently sent me pictures of my grandparents to me at work. No note was included. I believe the implicit message was about family. He also sent it to me at work, not wanting my wife to see. A clear message to my wife from my brother.
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]JCMPG wrote:
To the OP have you and your wife looked into environmental or diet causes for your children’s ADHD? A book that my wife and I have recently read due to her migraine headaches is the Ultra Mind Solution. You might be able to add some vitamins and minerals into their diets and see a huge change. Link below.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1416549714/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=8420488137&ref=pd_sl_4kug9o7n0_b [/quote]
OP have you tried hitting them? Maybe its your religion maybe you should try Hindu. Maybe since its 2012 you should try some type of pagan Mayan religion, I am sure there is a book. Why give them medicine that has been screened with trials etc. When you can give them some vitamin or mineral that Joe Bob made in his bathtub it totally cured his daughter. [/quote]
In all seriousness, poor diet and food allergies people don’t know they have are more than likely the cause of many problems, be it mental or physical.
If my kids, when I have some, do ever get diagnosed with ADHD, the last people I’ll be turning to are the ones making drugs to ‘fix’ them.
[quote]ghost87 wrote:
Again, I’m the original poster.
Thanks again. I didnt put all the details out there the first time for two reasons - brevity and anonymity. I should have put all the details out there the first time. Yes, my wife still feels bad. She was being " nice" but knowing my brother, it was not going to end well. She should have just said “no thanks” but knowing my brother, he would have gotten pissed about even that response. To be honest, there’s a little part of me that wants to make phone call but the other part of me says “enough of the negativity from him” We are in a struggle, but making progress with my kids. If my brother wants to be a part of our lives, he can do so. Funny, my brother recently sent me pictures of my grandparents to me at work. No note was included. I believe the implicit message was about family. He also sent it to me at work, not wanting my wife to see. A clear message to my wife from my brother. [/quote]
If you had said what your brother had said about wanting his opinion, I think we all would have had a good idea of what kind of tool he is. We ALL have relatives like that. Hell, that would have probably ended the thread. 
I wouldn’t stress too hard about him. At some point he needs to grow up or just fade into the background.
[quote]RSGZ wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]JCMPG wrote:
To the OP have you and your wife looked into environmental or diet causes for your children’s ADHD? A book that my wife and I have recently read due to her migraine headaches is the Ultra Mind Solution. You might be able to add some vitamins and minerals into their diets and see a huge change. Link below.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1416549714/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=8420488137&ref=pd_sl_4kug9o7n0_b [/quote]
OP have you tried hitting them? Maybe its your religion maybe you should try Hindu. Maybe since its 2012 you should try some type of pagan Mayan religion, I am sure there is a book. Why give them medicine that has been screened with trials etc. When you can give them some vitamin or mineral that Joe Bob made in his bathtub it totally cured his daughter. [/quote]
In all seriousness, poor diet and food allergies people don’t know they have are more than likely the cause of many problems, be it mental or physical.
If my kids, when I have some, do ever get diagnosed with ADHD, the last people I’ll be turning to are the ones making drugs to ‘fix’ them.[/quote]
you’re no doctor, what do you know
[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
[quote]RSGZ wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]JCMPG wrote:
To the OP have you and your wife looked into environmental or diet causes for your children’s ADHD? A book that my wife and I have recently read due to her migraine headaches is the Ultra Mind Solution. You might be able to add some vitamins and minerals into their diets and see a huge change. Link below.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1416549714/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=8420488137&ref=pd_sl_4kug9o7n0_b [/quote]
OP have you tried hitting them? Maybe its your religion maybe you should try Hindu. Maybe since its 2012 you should try some type of pagan Mayan religion, I am sure there is a book. Why give them medicine that has been screened with trials etc. When you can give them some vitamin or mineral that Joe Bob made in his bathtub it totally cured his daughter. [/quote]
In all seriousness, poor diet and food allergies people don’t know they have are more than likely the cause of many problems, be it mental or physical.
If my kids, when I have some, do ever get diagnosed with ADHD, the last people I’ll be turning to are the ones making drugs to ‘fix’ them.[/quote]
you’re no doctor, what do you know
[/quote]
Not sure if serious?
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]JCMPG wrote:
To the OP have you and your wife looked into environmental or diet causes for your children’s ADHD? A book that my wife and I have recently read due to her migraine headaches is the Ultra Mind Solution. You might be able to add some vitamins and minerals into their diets and see a huge change. Link below.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1416549714/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=8420488137&ref=pd_sl_4kug9o7n0_b [/quote]
OP have you tried hitting them? Maybe its your religion maybe you should try Hindu. Maybe since its 2012 you should try some type of pagan Mayan religion, I am sure there is a book. Why give them medicine that has been screened with trials etc. When you can give them some vitamin or mineral that Joe Bob made in his bathtub it totally cured his daughter. [/quote]
I did not follow the link but I have found adding more magnesium and vitamin E to my diet has helped with my migraines. My neurologist suggested it and I played around with the timing til I got it right.
Monkeys, typewriters and all that jazz[/quote]
As an adult there are definite uses for what you have done in relation to Migraines.
And again who suggested it? [/quote]
He heard the suggestion from a patient. Suggested to other patients, got good results. With migraines there is a lot of experimentation. But, yes it was my neurologist. (I am helping him with his shoulder rehab, by the way)
That said, I figured out my chronic inflamation, wrist issues, and more myself -despite seeing several doctors, all prescribing meds - on my own; dairy is no longer my friend.
My point is both doctor and patient need to be informed and have good communication. I worked from my doctor’s suggestion but worked hard to figure out the best way to do it. It is actually a rather precise thing.
If someone has a good doctor, they need to trust her/him but also be diligent on their own part as well.
Now my thought are wandering. It is hard to write while reading Dr. Seuss to a 3 yr old.[/quote]
Hell I do all this between doing physicals and being the boss.
Put this shit down AG and spend time with the 3 yr old.
I also agree with what your wrote and as an adult you can do that.
Treating children is very, very different. [/quote]
I am sure it is but I think in general kids are much smarter than many adults give them credit. Listening by the adults and asking questions in a way the kid understands (and think this will have to be done on a patient by patient way) could be very helpful. I think parenting is important here (so the kid feels free to talk) and openness of the doctor. I will pm you a story to give my case in point.
[quote]RSGZ wrote:
[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
[quote]RSGZ wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]JCMPG wrote:
To the OP have you and your wife looked into environmental or diet causes for your children’s ADHD? A book that my wife and I have recently read due to her migraine headaches is the Ultra Mind Solution. You might be able to add some vitamins and minerals into their diets and see a huge change. Link below.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1416549714/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=8420488137&ref=pd_sl_4kug9o7n0_b [/quote]
OP have you tried hitting them? Maybe its your religion maybe you should try Hindu. Maybe since its 2012 you should try some type of pagan Mayan religion, I am sure there is a book. Why give them medicine that has been screened with trials etc. When you can give them some vitamin or mineral that Joe Bob made in his bathtub it totally cured his daughter. [/quote]
In all seriousness, poor diet and food allergies people don’t know they have are more than likely the cause of many problems, be it mental or physical.
If my kids, when I have some, do ever get diagnosed with ADHD, the last people I’ll be turning to are the ones making drugs to ‘fix’ them.[/quote]
you’re no doctor, what do you know
[/quote]
Not sure if serious?[/quote]
as saturated fat causing heart attacks 
[quote]RSGZ wrote:
[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
[quote]RSGZ wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]JCMPG wrote:
To the OP have you and your wife looked into environmental or diet causes for your children’s ADHD? A book that my wife and I have recently read due to her migraine headaches is the Ultra Mind Solution. You might be able to add some vitamins and minerals into their diets and see a huge change. Link below.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1416549714/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=8420488137&ref=pd_sl_4kug9o7n0_b [/quote]
OP have you tried hitting them? Maybe its your religion maybe you should try Hindu. Maybe since its 2012 you should try some type of pagan Mayan religion, I am sure there is a book. Why give them medicine that has been screened with trials etc. When you can give them some vitamin or mineral that Joe Bob made in his bathtub it totally cured his daughter. [/quote]
In all seriousness, poor diet and food allergies people don’t know they have are more than likely the cause of many problems, be it mental or physical.
If my kids, when I have some, do ever get diagnosed with ADHD, the last people I’ll be turning to are the ones making drugs to ‘fix’ them.[/quote]
you’re no doctor, what do you know
[/quote]
Not sure if serious?[/quote]
Don’t worry, we are cool. I will let you borrow this shirt.
[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
[quote]RSGZ wrote:
[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
[quote]RSGZ wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]JCMPG wrote:
To the OP have you and your wife looked into environmental or diet causes for your children’s ADHD? A book that my wife and I have recently read due to her migraine headaches is the Ultra Mind Solution. You might be able to add some vitamins and minerals into their diets and see a huge change. Link below.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1416549714/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=8420488137&ref=pd_sl_4kug9o7n0_b [/quote]
OP have you tried hitting them? Maybe its your religion maybe you should try Hindu. Maybe since its 2012 you should try some type of pagan Mayan religion, I am sure there is a book. Why give them medicine that has been screened with trials etc. When you can give them some vitamin or mineral that Joe Bob made in his bathtub it totally cured his daughter. [/quote]
In all seriousness, poor diet and food allergies people don’t know they have are more than likely the cause of many problems, be it mental or physical.
If my kids, when I have some, do ever get diagnosed with ADHD, the last people I’ll be turning to are the ones making drugs to ‘fix’ them.[/quote]
you’re no doctor, what do you know
[/quote]
Not sure if serious?[/quote]
Don’t worry, we are cool. I will let you borrow this shirt.[/quote]
I have a lab coat, it’s all good.
[quote]RSGZ wrote:
[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
[quote]RSGZ wrote:
[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
[quote]RSGZ wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]JCMPG wrote:
To the OP have you and your wife looked into environmental or diet causes for your children’s ADHD? A book that my wife and I have recently read due to her migraine headaches is the Ultra Mind Solution. You might be able to add some vitamins and minerals into their diets and see a huge change. Link below.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1416549714/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=8420488137&ref=pd_sl_4kug9o7n0_b [/quote]
OP have you tried hitting them? Maybe its your religion maybe you should try Hindu. Maybe since its 2012 you should try some type of pagan Mayan religion, I am sure there is a book. Why give them medicine that has been screened with trials etc. When you can give them some vitamin or mineral that Joe Bob made in his bathtub it totally cured his daughter. [/quote]
In all seriousness, poor diet and food allergies people don’t know they have are more than likely the cause of many problems, be it mental or physical.
If my kids, when I have some, do ever get diagnosed with ADHD, the last people I’ll be turning to are the ones making drugs to ‘fix’ them.[/quote]
you’re no doctor, what do you know
[/quote]
Not sure if serious?[/quote]
Don’t worry, we are cool. I will let you borrow this shirt.[/quote]
I have a lab coat, it’s all good.[/quote]
What the HELL! My shirt is not good enough for you??? I thought we were family!!
Granted the kind of family members you find out about through police reports or bizarre genetic malformations. But blood, just slightly more related than we are to complete strangers and perhaps not even then.
OP, You mentioned earlier that your relationship with your parents is strained. The picture that he sent might be evidence of this.
Have you had a chance to fully discuss this with your Dad?
Can you ask your Mom for advice? She knows everyone involved including the history.
It seems silly for your brother to cut you off for one disagreement. This sounds like it is the tip of an iceberg.
[quote]mud lark wrote:
OP, You mentioned earlier that your relationship with your parents is strained. The picture that he sent might be evidence of this.
Have you had a chance to fully discuss this with your Dad?
Can you ask your Mom for advice? She knows everyone involved including the history.
It seems silly for your brother to cut you off for one disagreement. This sounds like it is the tip of an iceberg.
[/quote]
I’m the OP. No, I have not talked to my Mom and Dad about this. I have called them several times in the last few months to say hi but I don’t broach the subject. I may do so in my next conversation with them. They do not call or email me anymore. Its very likely they are ticked since my brother may have tainted them. You may want read my previous postings about this.
But…what if your brother is right?
is that not a possibility?
so if ADHD exists for some kids, what is the solution or the fix or what caused it? No one can honestly think that this health issue just arises out of nowhere for no specific reason?
It’s not a problem of a lack of X drug.
BTW- I do remember in 5th grade (20 yrs ago) there being this one kid that from what I remember would be one with ADD.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
But…what if your brother is right?
is that not a possibility?[/quote]
apparently not, since several doctors all came to the same conclusion. Just the same as the vast majority of doctors will tell you PX that if your cholesterol is over 200 you need to take a statin… food for thought /sarcasm
Show of hands: How many people in this thread have severed ties with a close family member, meaning siblings, parents or kids?
How many who say f* em have ever done that and lived with that decision for a couple of decades or more?
This is turning into a thread of “what I would do” with little show what I have done.
[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
Show of hands: How many people in this thread have severed ties with a close family member, meaning siblings, parents or kids?
How many who say f* em have ever done that and lived with that decision for a couple of decades or more?
This is turning into a thread of “what I would do” with little show what I have done.[/quote]
I’ve cut off my sister on more than one occasion for different reasons. We have always made up eventually but it was her coming to me. No one is saying that this will turn into a decades long issue so you don’t need to be over dramatic, most advice has been “He’s a dick, you shouldn’t grovel.” My opinion is that his brother is trouble. He stated himself that he is a source of drama and, based on his story, is also apparently manipulative. His obligation is to his wife and kids first now, not his brother.
I don’t have any advice for your situation but I will add that there are problems in my family where there hasn’t been communication between brothers/sisters/mothers for over a decade over something stupid. If you don’t want to be disconnected from your brother, fix things now before they ruin a decade of connection.
On the note of ADHD…
When my elder brother was in elementary he was very behaved around my strict parents but apparently he was “uncontrollable” at school and the professional at his school suggested he be diagnosed and treated for ADHD. As soon as my father was informed of this, my brother was the subject of corporal punishment. He never had another problem in school with either his grades or discipline.
[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
Show of hands: How many people in this thread have severed ties with a close family member, meaning siblings, parents or kids?
How many who say f* em have ever done that and lived with that decision for a couple of decades or more?
This is turning into a thread of “what I would do” with little show what I have done.[/quote]
My father has two brothers, a sister and mother. None of them have spoken to each other since my grandfathers passing in '97.