There’s some great articles on TN for bodyweight only work. You don’t need a gym to make gainz!
In additon to the great supporting messages above, I’d throw in a suggestion of bringing in some meditation. Some great free apps out there (using ‘headspace’ here atm and it’s easy to get into).
Yeah perhaps I should try that. This night was terrible again I spent more than 3 hours ruminating and flipping over in my bed, slept terribly and got out of bed at freaking almost 11 AM while being more tired than when I got in… 
But I remembered to weigh myself before eating my breakfast: 84,9 kgs and yesterday was 2766 calories
Feeling a bit leaner than monday
I swear to God they want to drive me insane. Someone’s testing me
My boss has been harassing me so that I use vacation time since I had not used any. Okay, so I palce 2 weeks (right now) from this date to this one. But looks like she didn’t listen or something because apparently I work this weekend.
So she didn’t place two weeks, I was apparently on vacation from monday to the next friday, instad of monday to monday. Because right now I only work the weekends obviously so she puts me on holidays on my non-working days and I can get back this week-end. Remember that we are on paid technical leave because of the virus, so a week day, whether I am on holidays or not, I don’t work and am payed the same either way.
She constantly does this, trying to screw the employees because most of them are 18, it’s their first job and they don’t know any better. Especially in these troubled times.
So I have two options
Either I go to work like a mindless spineless drone slave and accept being fucked in the ass
Either I tell her to fuck off and that I won’t come this weekend but then I lose around 100€ which is like 1/6 of my pay and I really really need the money…
She can fire me I don’t care, I have one month notice (the lockdown time) because of my seniority, and then I get enumployment benefits (but they almost never ever fire someone, they want to squeeze us as much as we can so that we quit).
But if I quit I get nothing.
So yeah I’m just fed up of her trying to screw me over ONCE AGAIN
Dear Jesus
Maybe you should try screwing her
Didn’t you say she was sexually harassing you?
Go on mate, think of the perks
You don’t look at the mantelpiece when you’re poking the fire son
Yeah but no she’s really disgusting both on the inside and the outside 
Even more reason to leave her with a face like a painters radio
??? Is this normal in France? In the US, bosses harass workers on vacation so they don’t take them
We have two obligatory weeks during a certain period. Also if we don’t take them they have to paid them and to them it’s even worse because they don’t love anything more than money
Loving the anology lol!
But honestly, I see interest nor pleasure in having sex with someone that doesn’t really please me. I tried
I’ve recommend to you in the past to check out some material on attachment theory. Specifically, for you, read up on “anxious / preoccupied attachment style”
So true, whenever I need to reality check myself I juxtapose the following two,
Feel free to replace “love” with “like”.
upvote
Arrival fallacy?
You probably can, it’s just that you “won’t”. @dagill2 is right, you have had ups that have really shone through but there are a few topics that we keep revisiting over and over. And I don’t get the impression that you changed the inputs substantially, you try the same thing a new and the only thing that differs is to whom. I’m not urging you to behave in a sociopathic way, or in a way that’s dishonest to yourself, but maybe the behaviour you allow yourself to indulge in isn’t doing you any favours and a different behaviour might affect not only the outcome but you yourself as well.
Because, a lot of times I find myself noticing that your voice is passive. That you are a certain way. That you’ve resigned to that this is the reality. Rather than being defiant, frustrated, and dead set on change.
Yeah I’m guilty of these to various but (belive me or not) being clingy and jalous in relationships (5 and 8). I enjoy and need my time alone/with friends, and I expect the same from my partner. And I’m actually very trustful (too much?)
You could psychanalyze me more, and saying it relates probably to abandonment issues from my father etc
Not really, I don’t think this will cause me to be happy. I’ll just be satisfied enough reaching the basics of being an adult lol, and won’t feel “late” anymore
I hear you. It’s a work in progress.
I’m certainly way more guilty of that rather than accepting the fact that I’m in charge of my universe.
I’m trying to let a bit lose right now you guys and worry less. @ChongLordUno would be proud? Some girl added me etc and I decided this time to open myself to someone new. Just no pressure, whatever happens, chatting and all.
I don’t want to invest in someone anyway right now, first comes my degree and future business!
01/04
A1. Pull-ups 3 x 8
A2. Close-Grip Bench 3 x 8 with 155lbs
B1. Machine Rows 3 x 12 with 175lbs
B2. EZ-Bar French Press 3 x ? with 45lbs
C1. Straight-Arms Pulldown 3 x ? with 90lbs
C2. Rope Triceps Extension 3 x ? with 25lbs
Another deload easy day. Some of the sets I don’t know how many reps I did, something between 12 and 20. I was stopping just before it started getting hard, so something like RPE 5
Still got a decent pump and helped me cool down and relax a looot
Looking way better and leaner than monday, I feel really good like this (veins creeping up on front lats and all)
I can feel the strong desire to destroy myself in the gym coming back, but I’m patient. This deload did good to my body and brains. For I really believe both stress act on one another.
I might be able to still train for the following month… So there’s that!
Agreed.
Honestly, I also very much relate to that feeling. Probably for different reasons, dunno.
I’m not saying this is a bad idea. It is generally wise to have self-stability before starting a serious relationship. But Anna makes a very good point here
This is very common nowadays, unfortunately. Women are slowly gaining equal ground in the workplace, and many men accept this, but the domestic sphere has been becoming less egalitarian since the 70s or 80s if I recall correctly. Men who proclaim to promote equality of the sexes fall prey to thinking that they must fit some patriarchal archetype – even if they don’t think they do. I’m not blaming any specific person, as society as a whole is to blame.
Rambling aside, I feel like @aldebaran, aside from body image issues, wants to exemplify some ideal male image because that’s what is “supposed” to do. Be the breadwinner, have it all. Others in the past have pointed out his putting women on a pedestal.
Not necessarily being the breadwinner, but at least bringing something to the table! I don’t care if my wife earns more. Like I said, i’ve been dirt poor all my life, I don’t ask for much.
I’ve experienced it first hand and I don’t want it ever. My ex didn’t want me to go back to studies and reach my dreams. She wanted us to buy a house, and just keep working and didn’t support the thought of me having less income when going back to school.
My other ex also stated about how she wanted more financial support from my part (which is ironic since it was 3 years ago and she’s still studying and earning zero)
So yeah it’s probably society’s fault. But I want to fit to a degree. I dont want the moon, but a minimum
It’s possible I’m being too harsh or accusing you of feeling things you don’t actually feel.
But really, as a woman it makes me uncomfortable that you sometimes write about women as if they’re an entirely different species
What? Not at all! Like I said, I completely understand their rationale. I want someone with a real job (not-part time) or studies and a place ideally as well
I meant in a general sense, not in the specific reply you recently wrote to me
Well then it’s poor communication from my part coupled with pain/frustration, because I don’t believe that. And I’m sorry then.
I believe women are just like men. One should talk to girls like you would talk to your best friends. I just have trouble doing that sometimes because of my hormones/feelings
Always proud of you my man
02/04
A1. DB Seated Press 3 x 8 with 26 kgs
A2. Rope Face-Pulls 3 x 15 with 30 kgs
B1. Rear-Delts Flyes 3 x 15 with 20 kgs
B2. Machine Lateral Raises 3 x 15 with 30 kgs
C1. Plate Raises 3 x 12 with 15 kgs
C2. DB Shrugs 3 x 12 with 50 kgs
Some grappling
Last day of the deload. I like the shoulder days, for even when it’s easy work you get a decent pump!
Here, and I didn’t even touch anything on the picture. Recent phones really do take great pictures.
I’m thinking I’ll look really awesome if I go through my diets gor my shoots
Then some grappling. Oh boy! This was touuuuugh! Rounds of 4 minutes. It was very hard and very cardio. It ended in a draw (my goal was just to survive rofl) but my friend said he was very impressed, because he was the best wrestler in his club and he didn’t submitted once!
But yeah it took a bit of toll on my traps and all which are very sore
Hard to see here, but I got some nice scratches on the cheekbone and eye as well. I have a little bruise now and I look like a russian mobster ahahah
Shredded bro !!!
