Thank you guys. It’s hard not to feel somehow something’s wrong with me, or it’s my fault or something, even though people told me I’ve been perfect all the time and it’s just that she couldn’t appreciate me for my worth.
1 Like
Nothing stupid about feelings.
Understanding them, and why you feel them will be a much better way to allow yourself to move on and process them
Feelings of love happen at different speeds for different people. There’s no science to it.
2 Likes
I’m glad you’ve been sticking to the phase one of the supertraining program. It might seem a bit boring but it’s a long term investment
1 Like
It’s okay, I almost enjoy the boring cardio now, and my heart is better. I have decided I’ll be doing more cardio now, with you as a role model
Did you really take a full week off on week 5?
2 Likes
I did not 
1 Like
Fault is such an ugly word. Such a black and white, binary word with all sorts of undertones of failure and a lack of virtue. The reality is usually just that people are not suited for each other at any particular time. There doesn’t have to be fault, blame, moral judgements or value judgements attached to it.
I think you should allow yourself to grieve, but don’t allow yourself to blame.
3 Likes
You’ve got some phenomenal scenery around you on those hikes man, pretty stunning stuff.
1 Like
I’d suggest do things for you, not the ladies.
You’ll be beating them off with a stick after they see what you can bring to the table.
2 Likes
Sorry to hear about the break up, dude. It sounds like it’s for the best in the long run, although it sucks right now.
1 Like
Yeah I try to as much as possible. But… Love is about giving, right?
I still trained yesterday, despite the lack of sleep and everything. I was a bit weak on my right side, and lacked power and strength, but the bar path wasn’t too bad!
16/09 - Supertotal 12
A. Muscle Snatch 2 x 3 with 40 kgs
B. Power Snatch + OVH Squat 3 x 1 with 55 kgs
C. Snatch Pull + Snatch 4 x 1 with 60 kgs
D. Hang Snatch + Paused Snatch 4 x 1 with 65 kgs
E. Snatch 3 x 1 with 70 kgs
One of my snatches, second one I think.I’m slow and all but considering everything, my CNS was fried by the lack of sleep, stress and emotional turmoil.
Then I did the cross training classes. Always a bit stressful at first because you don’t know if people are going to enjoy the things you prepared!
But I think it went really well, especially with the second group. First one they were 12, second 6, so I spent more time on their deadlift technique and they were very happy with the weight they were able to use, something they never thought they could, and their technique wasn’t bad at all! It was cool to see them being more confident and strong
Stuff was very simple, one cardio block, and the WOD was a 10’ AMRAP of 5 heavy deadlifts, 10 push-ups with a partner (one was doing this and when he finished, the other started)
So it was cool!
Today I ran for 40 mins in the neighbourhood, not the best experience for my knees but it was okay.
Thanks for all the messages guys. Yesterday I had a good cry and was physically and emotionally shaken, but indeed this is not the end of the world. I have many many things to live for! I’ll get better soon enough
3 Likes
A gentle reminder on programming in some ‘me time’ and some mediation, breathing exercises.
You got this!!!
2 Likes
Sooo this week-end was very eventful. A final goodbye to the summer let’s say.
My friends organized some evening because I was sad. I had not much desire to go, but I couldn’t say no. Spent all friday and saturday, whole nights and days in clubs and at a festival (Jesus Sven Väth’s set proved amazing once again, but I changed my phone and forgot to note down all the good songs I had Shazamed 
)
I also caught a very bad cold. lack of sleep and rain. So I was very tired and weak. I still trained yesterday, but afterwards I felt robbed of all energy and went to bed immediatly.
21/09 - Supertotal 17
A. Squat 3 x 5 with 115 kgs
B. Front Squat 3 x 5 with 85 kgs
C. Bench Press 2 x 8 with 85 kgs, 2 x 12 with 70 kgs
D. Reverse-Grip Bench Press 2 x 8 with 70 kgs
E. Pull-ups 3 x 10
F. Seated DB Curls + Triceps pushdown 3 x 15
Squats were really fine. Front squats were absurdly easy appart from the bar scraping my already hyper painful throat
The reverse bench press was interesting. Crazy chest feeling. But horrible for the wrist and strictly impossible to derack without a mate lol
Weirdly enough, I had a really GREAT pump!
I feel way better. I don’t know, I feel free. The stress, pain, and obsession I had is gone. It was the moment it was over. No matter how much I loved her or anything, it’s better this way. It was more pain than anything.
Today second session
22/9 - Supertotal 18
A. Paused Snatch 3 x 2 with 55 kgs
B. Paused Clean and Paused Jerk 3 x 2 with 70 kgs
C. Snatch Balance 3 x 3 with 55 kgs
D. Push Press 4 x 5 with 60 kgs
E. Snatch High Pull 3 x 4 with 75 kgs
F. Clean Pull 3 x 4 with 95 kgs
D. Bird Dog Plank 3 x ???
I was soaked. The weights were mostly lights but it’s still a great workout.
I really need the snatch balance for my shoulder stability.
Cleans at 70 kgs just feel ridiculous
I really suck at bird dog planks ahahah
Two hot girls were 1 meter in front of me doing their stuff for 30 min. It wasn’t easy to focus lol
I’m going to have more time to myself now. No party till Halloween (and hopefully no more sickness!). Projects are coming along nicely. Excited for work.
7 Likes
demigod focus time sir.
2 Likes
Haven’t seen you online in a while. Hope everything is going okay for you.
2 Likes
At a 10-day raging party no doubt.
4 Likes
Thanks for the concern. I have been quite withdrawing on myself these days. It’s like I have been feeling overwhelmed, tired, and at the same time my mind is wandering everywhere.
It’s taking some time to adjust to the new life. I have been guilty of going to bed sometimes too late, and waking up late as well. Nobody to prevent me of doing so since I mainly work in the evening.
I think I have some sort of ADHD or some stuff to fix yet. I constantly do several things at the same time. I have trouble focusing. I have been quite obsessed with my phone and talking to many people at the same time.
Probably my mind feels “unloved” or wanting attention.
But actually when I do get to work, I really enjoy it and it draws me in and I can’t stop. But sometimes I have trouble getting to it.
I deactivated the snooze on my alarm. Gonna try to sleep in less. Probably go no fap as well. And work more, because work actually gives me satisfaction. The rest, not that much. I have been feeling quite devoid of emotions lately, just not caring about many things. Even when i talk with girls or something. Blerh.
But I’m still on the supertotal program as you can see here, some high hang snatch
I even did cardio today:
Wood
5 rounds
800 m run
10 burpees box jumps
10 sumo high pull
10 thrusters
Took 35’ and some seconds.
The first couple runs, my knees and legs weren’t feeling that great, then it was fine. This whole thing was probably a bit too ahrd. i was very red afterwards.
Anyway, I still have lots of efforts to do with myself. I started dieting and counting my calories 2 days ago. I’ve cut off all fun induced spending money. I have been too bad. I have to invest in my and me future for short term fun doesn’t bring me anything, not even that much fun.
I have much to do, but I don’t really feel that motivated right now 
I went out this week-end obviously, but I almost didn’t drink. Which is a good thing for I got tested by the cops out of a club on saturday. first time. I could have lost my licence for a couple more drinks lol.
This hit me. Like I realized what I was doing with all this “fun” wasn’t making me happy, wasn’t making me closer to my goals, and at the same time, well pretty much nothing is making me happy right now. But I like working.
So I shall work more until I get in a more positive cycle.
10 Likes
Awesome that you are going to work on focus.
I can relate about some of the ADHD stuff, it seems to come in phases for me.
I’m curious about no-fap if it changes mentality?
Glad to see you are doing okay. Keep working through everything. Sounds like you have a plan.
Just checking in, my man. How’re things going for you these days?
2 Likes
Hi there. It’s been already two weeks ugh.
Honestly not much has changed since.
I started S&C training with World class, championa thletes and coaches. It was 3 exciting but very tiring days with double sessions.
I have been quite in my head these last days.
Both week-ends I just indulged in going out and whatever. And both time with the tiredness it took a toll.
This friday I was just going for a beer. With lack of food and sleep it turned into the worst raging revelry in 6 years. Was ill and slept until 7 pm th day afterwards. What a shame.
So I’ve been reflecting on what I’ve been doing these past months. And hedonism:
• did not improve my physique
• did not improve or barely my performance
• took a dent in my already low finances in an irresponsible way
• took a dent in my health, recovery and probably mental health as health
• and it’s not like I went and talked to girls anyway lol
So I’m reading actual books. Trying to improve. I just feel disgusted by unhealthy food and stuff like that now.
I want to quit my addictions like alcohol and porn. It just doesn’t help me. And if I want to progress, I have to.
But I still lift. Well I skipped one session last week because of that. Still on the supertotal program. Very unfocused and many things on my mind. I’m going to try and do the work, because the hardest aprt is always starting, then once you’re in motion, things get easier. Forcing myself to do my 12 K steps as well
Deload week this week. But it was tough, and I have to focus a lot. I’m so tired lol
7 Likes