Thanks for everyone offering up their suggestions, even the insulting ones which I take with a grain of salt. I guess my concern isn’t losing my temper though, but just walking around angry all the time for no reason…
I had to go to court-ordered anger management classes for 2 months. I really learned some interesting things that helped a lot. I thought it was going to be stupid and useless, mainly because the reason I ended up there had more to do with drinking than it did being angry, but it has served me very well nonetheless. I suggest you check it out.
Take better control of things in your life that you CAN control… so your frustration doesn’t spill over into other areas and paint you as an asshole. A big man should be a big man… and not a little temper tantrum waiting to happen.
Maybe you’re just an asshole with a lack of self control?
Seriously though, you’re not supposed to be pissed off all the time. Get some counselling or something.
[quote]shoo wrote:
Maybe you’re just an asshole with a lack of self control?
Seriously though, you’re not supposed to be pissed off all the time. Get some counselling or something.[/quote]
Dude, I’m angry right now that I can’t have the woman in your avatar.
DB
[quote]polo77j wrote:
mmllcc wrote:
Da Vinci wrote:
Most people grow up and stop acting like selfish, self-important, too-much-self-esteem pricks like yourself naturally. You obviously have bad parents or they also would have properly prepared you and matured you to deal with the real world. I think the best thing you can do is keep blowing up like that - but do it in the face of a cop or someone that will beat the piss out of you. Then perhaps the humbleness will set in.
How can you possibly make that assessment with such confidence? Personally I think you’re a prick for saying that he “obviously has bad parents.” What are you a fucking Ph.D in psychology or something? I think you should take that assessment and shove it up your ass.
It seems you haven’t grown out of your “prick” phase yet. Jackass.[/quote]
Stop crying already!
I think that’s what I dislike the most about it. I don’t feel like a bad guy yet I walk around feeling like a complete dick head/asshole all the time.
[quote]Da Vinci wrote:
Thanks for everyone offering up their suggestions, even the insulting ones which I take with a grain of salt. I guess my concern isn’t losing my temper though, but just walking around angry all the time for no reason…[/quote]
Yea, dude. You have self control issues. In other words, you do not have any or much control over your emotional state. There are different types of strength… physical, mental, emotional etc… Many people are weak from the start, they are weak in every category and they feel like shit. Many people learn to strengthen themselves but focus on only one aspect of strength.
Often this can make someone prone to anger because they feel like they have become stronger, maybe much stronger in one aspect, but they are still weak in another area and someone strong in that area may dominate them. A classic example would be to take your classic big strong but not all that bright guy and your skinny nerd. Now Say the nerd makes the big guy feel dump and inadequate, the big guy gets angry over it.
I think you can see where i’m going with this. If you are well rounded, Including being Strong emotionally, which is I suspect your weakness, you will likley not feel the need to use anger as a tool emotionally. Regardless of what other people may tell you, emotions are simply tools. Think about what happens when you get angry, most people take you more seriously, they know you mean business.
So if people don’t take you seriously very often “i’m not getting out of this big meatheads way he can move around me” then one way you have used to force people to take you more serious is to get visibly angry, of course you have to get internally angry to make it work well, and now you have used it so much you have anger on the ready so to speak. You keep it boiling on a real low simmer because you have used it over and over again to get people to take you seriously.
Other emotions are also tools, Love is a tool, so is kindness, empathy, toughness, joy, etc… These are all emotional states you can use to interact with people. If you haven’t used them ever or in a long time they will feel foreign to you, you will feel like you are forcing it. But this is natural, it will take a little bit of using these to get used to how they feel again.
Start using these other emotions and try to avoid the anger one. Also if you feel like people don’t respect you or don’t take you seriously, you first need to relax and not get angry about it. There may be a legitimate reason, like maybe they know you are always going around getting angry and trying to intimidate people so they think you are a nob and make fun of you behind your back. I mean seriously, ever think they could have good reason for this typs of behavior?
I have had good luck getting respect by using the golden rule. Treat others as you would want to be treated. It can suck sometimes because you kinda have to bend over for people a little bit, but overall it’s not too bad. Now the even better thing is, when someone is being a doucher or a dick or any of the other things where you just want to get mad and punch them one.
Just sit back, relax and make sure they know thier actions are not effecting you one bit. This will in effect make thier emotional tactics backfir on them and they will be the ones getting mad, bitching and being overall crappy people to be around. Either that, or they will change thier tune, you will gain thier respect and even sometimes thier adoration. This can even get annoying. I have one kid who everytime I see him on the golf course, HAS to come over and talk to me for like 10 minutes no matter who he holds up in the process.
I realize this is a book, but PM me if any of this was not clear or if you just have more questions. I’m here to help.
V
Like the others have said, put your frustration to better use doing an activity. I’m popo, and I have to agree with the guy who said lots of folks carry weapons. I’ve pulled many knives off of people, and lots more people than you think pack heat. I can name ten or so that carry every day off the top of my head. Some people are great fighters of course too. I got smoked by some 130 lb dude who put me in an armbar once. Be careful!
Ask yourself why you’re mad.
I get on edge if I haven’t eaten, slept well, carried a lot of crap home with me from work, etc, and I kind of self diagnose myself right then.
When I remember to do it anyway…
If it’s a work thing and you’re not at work, it can wait till tomorrow, because right then there’s nothing you can do about it. If it’s because you haven’t eaten, put yourself in All Stop and eat. Same goes for sleep, as soon as possible grab a catnap. All kinds of ways to subsidise and re-direct that welling pissed off feeling, stopping to find out the source helps for me.
I don’t blame you for being pissed at the cartographers, one bit.
If two people are trying to pass off dogshit for prime rib there’s definitely a problem. It’s necessary to call them out on it, it’s your REPONSIBILITY to make them aware that they’re full of shit and either fix it or discontinue the relationship. Putting up with less than required quality is cowardly and passive. Especially if you’re paying them.
However, dropping F bombs and screaming? A tantrum like that makes you look fucking stupid. I hope you feel that way. Like a fucking retard for acting like that. If you’re a professional you should be embarrassed, and I mean numb. It should be that creeping feeling up the back of your skull as you cringe, wondering if you’ll still have a job or a role in whatever project you’re working on. You lost your shit. Learn from that. Supervisors and bosses don’t like to hear “Sorry, I just lost it…” That cuts their confidence in you in half, and no matter what from that point forward they’re going to give you easy low profile stuff to piddle with rather than put you on anything important and have you fuck it up because you can’t keep your cool under stress.
As for sweating the little guys not getting out of your way? C’mon now. You know you can handle that better. Don’t be a dick. If it happens accidentally then so be it, but if it’s about to happen and lil’ guy doesn’t notice, then be a man and say “scuse me” and avoid the confrontation. If it’s a little dicknose who’s trying to bump into you, I mean who’s actually heat seaking you? You can still step aside to where it’s a glancing blow, but stay in the pocket enough to let him know he fucked up without making yourself look like a jackass. You’re walking around thinking there should be implied respect because you’re bigger, and brother that just aint the case.
So,
Ask yourself why you’re mad, confront it and solve it. Compartmentalize it if you can’t solve it right away.
Learn from past blow ups, recognize your triggers earlier and internally talk yourself off the ledge so to speak. VibeAlive goes for walks, I get somewhere private and pace, it’s different for everyone.
I hope you find a way to deal with it though. There are plenty of resources available, it’s finding the one that works for you that’s important. Good Luck.
I also found that my anger was inversely proportional to my self-confidence. In other words, it was just a symptom of a bigger problem.
[quote]DickBag wrote:
Dedicated wrote:
Just take a second or two to think about consequences my friend. That helps me in (most) cases of anger.
D
what dedicated means is, its hard to go fishing for pike when you break your fist in a fight.
there aren’t any pike in hospitals.
so why break your fist, when you could just not break it?
see?
your welcome[/quote]
That is exactly what I was trying to say, but couldn’t find the right words.
Thank you my pike angling amigo!
D
LOL.
People tell me I’m too laid back…but that I LOOK upset all of the time.
I do want to know what is wrong with those little people who walk right in your direction (no matter how much room is around you) as if they are daring you to move.
I always chalked that up to short man syndrome. If I see someone bigger than me walking in my exact path, I will probably NOT try to charge into them as if we are about to duel.
[quote]sen say wrote:
What were you doing that you needed to designate 2 cartographers? Some sort of Dungeons and Dragons is my guess.[/quote]
I would have guessed ‘Explorer’.
Now that he’s pissed of the cartographers, WE’LL NEVER FIND THE NEW WORLD!!!
DAMN YOU DAVINCI!!!
[quote]DickBag wrote:
Dedicated wrote:
Just take a second or two to think about consequences my friend. That helps me in (most) cases of anger.
D
what dedicated means is, its hard to go fishing for pike when you break your fist in a fight.
there aren’t any pike in hospitals.
so why break your fist, when you could just not break it?
see?
your welcome[/quote]
LOL!
How you been you crazy Irish guy?
[quote]DickBag wrote:
wrote:
i honestly cant imagine people walking into you for no reason. do women do it as well?
you could sneak a hump into some hot ones.
[/quote]
It’s always been short skinny guys for some reason. No one else. I’ll be walking to the water fountain and they just keep moving in the same line I am as if this is a test. I almost always move because I know I could actually hurt one of these fuckers if I actually ran into them at the same speed they are coming at me.
It is also NEVER people who train seriously.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
DickBag wrote:
wrote:
i honestly cant imagine people walking into you for no reason. do women do it as well?
you could sneak a hump into some hot ones.
It’s always been short skinny guys for some reason. No one else. I’ll be walking to the water fountain and they just keep moving in the same line I am as if this is a test. I almost always move because I know I could actually hurt one of these fuckers if I actually ran into them at the same speed they are coming at me.
It is also NEVER people who train seriously.[/quote]
Its the short smaller guys who feel the need to “test” themselves. Big guys usually don’t start shit because they almost never have to. Their size is intimidating enough to scare off any trouble.
To the OP, you need to realize that looking for trouble isn’t the same as being ready for it. Because in the words of the late Eazy-E…“With a gat it don’t matter if your smaller or bigger.” Someone may have a weapon and the sack to use it on you. A few days ago, there was a hit and run fatal accident at my Alma Mater. The guy ran the red light and plowed into 2 people, killing 1, while the other laid on the hood barely breathing. The passenger got out to throw the guy off the hood, so they could speed away without incident. Moral of the story, there are so seriously fucked up people in the world, and you don’t need to get tested coming across of these people. Take your aggressions out on the weights. Go in the gym and fucking kill it.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
DickBag wrote:
wrote:
i honestly cant imagine people walking into you for no reason. do women do it as well?
you could sneak a hump into some hot ones.
It’s always been short skinny guys for some reason. No one else. I’ll be walking to the water fountain and they just keep moving in the same line I am as if this is a test. I almost always move because I know I could actually hurt one of these fuckers if I actually ran into them at the same speed they are coming at me.
It is also NEVER people who train seriously.[/quote]
X2
[quote]Professor X wrote:
DickBag wrote:
wrote:
i honestly cant imagine people walking into you for no reason. do women do it as well?
you could sneak a hump into some hot ones.
It’s always been short skinny guys for some reason. No one else. I’ll be walking to the water fountain and they just keep moving in the same line I am as if this is a test. I almost always move because I know I could actually hurt one of these fuckers if I actually ran into them at the same speed they are coming at me.
It is also NEVER people who train seriously.[/quote]
Maybe they just have impaired vision. So they don’t see you - or you just look like a blurry blob…and nobody is scared of blurry blobs.