Dealing with People Staring You Down?

Off Topic
101

[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
Professor X wrote:
NeedforStrength wrote:
yeah the only reason I brought this up is because it does get annoying, and no I don’t act like a douchebag. This tends to happen more often when people are in groups, as opposed to when people are alone. Like the other day, I was at a restaurant with a couple others and these guys, about 6-7 of them kept staring at us. Whatever it probably is an insecurity thing though.

There was a guy at the gym who was staring at me. I took it the wrong way and avoided him. That was the same guy who came up to me the next week and said I “inspired” him to work out. Again, you don’t know what people are thinking.

You’ll be happier once you finally adopt a “fuck it” attitude about life and just focus on what you have to do.

You don’t know what people are thinking. One of the guys I work with who is a bit of a brawler almost started one when a group of guys in a bar kept staring and staring. When he got up to go over, he realised the television was behind them/over their head and that’s what they were looking at. He sat down.[/quote]

LOL. Just from experience, the same goes for when you sit in front of clocks and even other people the “starer” knows.

The biggest lesson you learn in life…is that it all ain’t about you.

102

I used to look away before I became a cop. I learned I couldn’t do this in law enforcement though, the hard way. People think you’ll “give in”, and they can get over on you. So fuck 'em, now if someone stares, I’ll stare them down until the moment’s over.

No one has challenged me to a fight yet from me looking at them, so I believe it’s more of a mental/psychological thing. If you’re looking at them with a plesant look on your face, they won’t give you shit anyway, they’ll probably come introduce themselves.

I was walking at the park today and some dude with his girl were sitting on a bench. Dude would NOT stop staring, so I stared him back down until I passed. Asshole.

103

[quote]dcamnc wrote:
I used to look away before I became a cop. I learned I couldn’t do this in law enforcement though, the hard way. People think you’ll “give in”, and they can get over on you. So fuck 'em, now if someone stares, I’ll stare them down until the moment’s over. No one has challenged me to a fight yet from me looking at them, so I believe it’s more of a mental/psychological thing. If you’re looking at them with a plesant look on your face, they won’t give you shit anyway, they’ll probably come introduce themselves.

I was walking at the park today and some dude with his girl were sitting on a bench. Dude would NOT stop staring, so I stared him back down until I passed. Asshole.[/quote]

You are obviously the Alpha Male. Good job.

104

In New York City there are always disgruntled assholes walking around trying to stare everyone down.

They get off on intimidating the people who look away.

But even more, they are just waiting for someone to not look away so they can unleash all their rage upon that individual. I’ve known several people in my martial arts school to do this (and then beat the fuck out people) so you’re always better off looking away. You never know if they have a knife or gun or what.

The best way I’ve found to deal with this is simply ignore the fuck out of them, as if they don’t exist. Never look at them in the first place. It’s very effective.

105

If someone is trying to stare you down, it is like they are holding a sign saying:

“I am embarassingly insecure and NEED to dominate someone NOW, or else tonight I might cry myself to sleep.”

ElbowStrike

106

[quote]Professor X wrote:
NeedforStrength wrote:
yeah the only reason I brought this up is because it does get annoying, and no I don’t act like a douchebag. This tends to happen more often when people are in groups, as opposed to when people are alone. Like the other day, I was at a restaurant with a couple others and these guys, about 6-7 of them kept staring at us. Whatever it probably is an insecurity thing though.

There was a guy at the gym who was staring at me. I took it the wrong way and avoided him. That was the same guy who came up to me the next week and said I “inspired” him to work out. Again, you don’t know what people are thinking.

You’ll be happier once you finally adopt a “fuck it” attitude about life and just focus on what you have to do. [/quote]

This is so true, sometimes I will be checking a chick out and they look back and quickly look away, then I realise I got an angry ass look on my face lmao. When they look again I smile at them and they smile back. Facial expression doesn’t always express wat someone is thinking.

If someone is staring at you, just actknowledge them with a nod or a smile and then get on with your business.

I haven’t been into a fight since I was in highschool. I think that most fights that people say they didnt start, could have been avoided just by some common sense shit like not staring down people who look at you funny.

107

Im going to buy a pair of those glasses that make it look like you never blink… This is going to be an exciting weekend!

108

[quote]thaiclinch wrote:
Im going to buy a pair of those glasses that make it look like you never blink… This is going to be an exciting weekend![/quote]

Haha…that image of homer in the jury just flashed into my head!

109


I thought that thing was some kind of bovine at first. Took me a minute to realize it’s a dog.

110

…it’s either a strange country you live in OP, or i just don’t get out much…

111

[quote]imhungry wrote:
dcamnc wrote:
I used to look away before I became a cop. I learned I couldn’t do this in law enforcement though, the hard way. People think you’ll “give in”, and they can get over on you. So fuck 'em, now if someone stares, I’ll stare them down until the moment’s over. No one has challenged me to a fight yet from me looking at them, so I believe it’s more of a mental/psychological thing. If you’re looking at them with a plesant look on your face, they won’t give you shit anyway, they’ll probably come introduce themselves.

I was walking at the park today and some dude with his girl were sitting on a bench. Dude would NOT stop staring, so I stared him back down until I passed. Asshole.

You are obviously the Alpha Male. Good job.

[/quote]
Well, I’m not trying to be alpha, but you’ll get butthurt on the street if you show any weakness. You figure it out real fast when you’re a rookie, and you get thrown into the downtown area of your capital city by yourself on nightshift.

For average citizens though, I think it’s probably best to avoid trouble. The problem with this comes when the aggressor KNOWS you’re trying to avoid trouble, and pushes it even further. By asserting your command presense early in the contact, you avoid this.

You don’t become an asshole, because then YOU’RE escalating things, but you have to let them know you’re not screwing around with them.

112

LOL at this thread.
I dont go to bars so i dont know wdf you guys are talking about when you say “staring you down” but when i pass someone in the street and they start staring at me im asuming theyre trying to act hard, so i make eye contact until they look away. Its just to send a blow to their ego.

Although, if a girl looks at me i just assume shes checking me out :smiley:

113

[quote]ephrem wrote:
…it’s either a strange country you live in OP, or i just don’t get out much…[/quote]

Being a non-asian in an asian country such as China can certainly draw stares every day…

is the OP in a different country? lol

114

Staring down is so funny, it’s one of those instances that lasts for a matter of seconds but seems like it lasts for an hour.

Side note: You know how when you go to the zoo’s and see the gorilla’s the tour guides tell you not to stare them in the eye? Well I decided to be a jack ass when I went to the zoo a few years ago, pushed my face right up to the glass and stared at this big ass silverback gorilla.

I kept mouthing “You!” and pointing my finger at him. That thing charged the fucking glass and did it’s chest thumping deal, scared the shit out of me lol.

NEVER try to stare down gorillas.

115

[quote]waylanderxx wrote:
Staring down is so funny, it’s one of those instances that lasts for a matter of seconds but seems like it lasts for an hour.

Side note: You know how when you go to the zoo’s and see the gorilla’s the tour guides tell you not to stare them in the eye? Well I decided to be a jack ass when I went to the zoo a few years ago, pushed my face right up to the glass and stared at this big ass silverback gorilla.

I kept mouthing “You!” and pointing my finger at him. That thing charged the fucking glass and did it’s chest thumping deal, scared the shit out of me lol.

NEVER try to stare down gorillas.[/quote]

Heh, That gave me a laugh

116

i usually pull a glove out of my pocket and smack them across the face with it. Then challenge them to a duel

117

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
tom63 wrote:

What the hell kind of bars do you hang out in? I very seldom see a confrontation when I’m out. Aside from that I know how to avoid trouble by paying attention to my surroundings and avoiding trouble.

One bar I used to frequent all the time was like fucking Roadhouse. The bouncer was a huge black cat who was an ex(?) banger and was fucked up on southern comfort and coke all the time. He’d be selling coke on the side of the bar, and people would be blowing it in the bathroom. There was blood on the floor in that place every fucking night.

Friends of mine got stomped there once, another shattered a pint glass on a guy’s face another time. I had one guy try to fight me for saying, “Excuse me” as I was walking through.

It took a while but I outgrew that place. Other places are either in the hills or the ghetto, and I’ve seen shit go down at all of them.

Maybe I attract the wrong kind of people.

Maybe we don’t have as many wanna be tough guys here, or I’m big enough( I’m not that big), to old, or to married that people don’t seem to bother me.

Of course,a round here in Pa. I don’t see to many jacked guys. They don’t worry me at all. It’s the guys with guns that worry me. A 380 backup beats 275 lbs and a 500 lb bench if you’re not careful.

The best course I ever took was a lethal self defense course involving firearms. The instructors spent a lot of time teaching you how to be observant of your surroundings. I’ve dealt with the staring thing one time while out with a buddy a few years ago. I just ignored him but paid attention. He was very drunk and looking to be belligerent. the walked up behind my friend and I and called us a couple of faggots. I did not know this drunk ass.

I knew right where he was and already he had no weapon. After a minute or two of being ignored he sat back down and seemed to forget what he did. I was ready if he did anything, but it was a lot smoother night with no hassle which probably would not have been the case with a confrontation.

Ignoring them while you pay attention is the best idea. In the gym it could be as X said, you’re doing something right. Maybe the guy wants a spot or needs a hand.

I say it all the time- awareness is the key. I agree.[/quote]

When we’re young we tend to look for excitement. Get a little older and you look for a nice night out. I’m mostly out with my wife and we’re together, so we very seldom attract negative attention. and we live in redneck land out here in Pa.

A few weeks ago I had a little confrontation with a drunkass rainman crazy type, but that didn’t go anywhere. He was tossed and banned. But that was the first in years for my wife and I.

118

Dudes said it, on attracting negative attention. We avoid stare downs, but we don’t look away. Sometimes looking away can cause the conflict. Its the game some of them play, look at people hard and hope they back away.

I simply continue on what I was doing, and look where I was looking. I guess I ignore them without looking away. If I was looking in their general direction, I keep looking at what I was looking at until I’m done.

I guess like the one guy said, we are aware of where they are at in our vicinity - but we ignore them. We now they feed into the attention or the fear, or whatever.

119

[quote]tom63 wrote:
FightinIrish26 wrote:
tom63 wrote:

What the hell kind of bars do you hang out in? I very seldom see a confrontation when I’m out. Aside from that I know how to avoid trouble by paying attention to my surroundings and avoiding trouble.

One bar I used to frequent all the time was like fucking Roadhouse. The bouncer was a huge black cat who was an ex(?) banger and was fucked up on southern comfort and coke all the time. He’d be selling coke on the side of the bar, and people would be blowing it in the bathroom. There was blood on the floor in that place every fucking night.

Friends of mine got stomped there once, another shattered a pint glass on a guy’s face another time. I had one guy try to fight me for saying, “Excuse me” as I was walking through.

It took a while but I outgrew that place. Other places are either in the hills or the ghetto, and I’ve seen shit go down at all of them.

Maybe I attract the wrong kind of people.

Maybe we don’t have as many wanna be tough guys here, or I’m big enough( I’m not that big), to old, or to married that people don’t seem to bother me.

Of course,a round here in Pa. I don’t see to many jacked guys. They don’t worry me at all. It’s the guys with guns that worry me. A 380 backup beats 275 lbs and a 500 lb bench if you’re not careful.

The best course I ever took was a lethal self defense course involving firearms. The instructors spent a lot of time teaching you how to be observant of your surroundings. I’ve dealt with the staring thing one time while out with a buddy a few years ago. I just ignored him but paid attention. He was very drunk and looking to be belligerent. the walked up behind my friend and I and called us a couple of faggots. I did not know this drunk ass.

I knew right where he was and already he had no weapon. After a minute or two of being ignored he sat back down and seemed to forget what he did. I was ready if he did anything, but it was a lot smoother night with no hassle which probably would not have been the case with a confrontation.

Ignoring them while you pay attention is the best idea. In the gym it could be as X said, you’re doing something right. Maybe the guy wants a spot or needs a hand.

I say it all the time- awareness is the key. I agree.

When we’re young we tend to look for excitement. Get a little older and you look for a nice night out. I’m mostly out with my wife and we’re together, so we very seldom attract negative attention. and we live in redneck land out here in Pa.

A few weeks ago I had a little confrontation with a drunkass rainman crazy type, but that didn’t go anywhere. He was tossed and banned. But that was the first in years for my wife and I.

[/quote]

Pa. has rednecks?? Where?

120

[quote]Professor X wrote:
NeedforStrength wrote:
Stare at them right back and risk getting into a verbal confrontation/fight, or just glance and walk away? Where I live there’s always morons who think their hardcore trying to stare you down, what do you guys normally do?? and am I pussy if I just glance at them and then stare right ahead as I walk by when this happens??

One, you care too much what everyone else thinks. Two, the bigger you get, the more people will stare at you. Very often, their facial expression does not give you an accurate picture of what is actually going on in their heads. In fact, if you plan to get serious about weight lifting, people staring is just something you will have to get used to or else you will be in fights daily from jumping to conclusions.

No one should be “staring you down” because you shouldn’t be staring back long enough to even notice.
[/quote]

Okay, in the first place feeling threatened by someone who stares you down is only a reflection of your lack of confidence and self-image. There are only two main reasons why someone will stare you down and they are either attempting to project their own emotions onto you which in doing so hoping that those the person stares down do not actually confront he/she.

The majority of people shy away from confrontation in every respect of the word. The other main reason that someone will stare you down is purely instinctive and the intent is to scare you shitless and to make you feel as if you are and should be that his/her)(s) next meal if need be.