[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
I wouldn’t even keep my kid away from this guy. Use this guy as a teaching tool to show your kid what kind of people to avoid.
[/quote]
This X1000.
There will always be ‘bad’ influences in your child’s life. At least this one you know.
I’ve learned all sorts of stuff from my more unsavory relatives… Mostly how not to live. [/quote]
I agree with this, and I also agree you might be best suited with a bit of confrontation. I don’t mean punch the guy, but you might want to get all up in his space, just to let him know your stance on him. You need to get the point across – to him – that what he did is not acceptable, and that you’re not going to stand for it. In your life, in your gf’s life, in your child’s life.
Don’t make apologies for your gf, but help her learn from the situation. You can help her grow up a bit, and also make sure she knows how you feel about her uncle, and how you feel his role in your childs life should be.
[quote] g12 wrote:
The problem is… My girlfriend forgave him. Her mom (uncle’s sister) really hasn’t done much. Most of the family doesn’t know.
This uncle will be there at family events.[/quote]
That is a big problem. But it sounds like the solution is right in front of you. As others have said, tell him your opinion of him, AND LET THE REST OF THE FAMILY KNOW. You might be seen as “mean” but the adults in the family will understand.
[quote]MartyMonster wrote:
Cut him out all togethor and let people know why. Be resolute.[/quote]
This. exactly.
[quote]krazykoukides wrote:
Don’t let them turn YOU into the bad guy for being mad at the dude and not forgiving him/wanting anything to do with him. [/quote]
[quote]Alex Good wrote:
Sounds like my brother. He’s effectively made me the pariah through his manipulations, so be careful.[/quote]
I was thinking about this too. I am the “bad guy” with some parts of my family because I don’t “accept” a family member. When I point out that it’s only been a couple years since he came back to a family event drunk, smashed up my father’s house, woke up everyone sleeping in the house, and tried to pick a fight with me, they tell me I’m being “bad/mean.” When I point out the 4am drunken, aggressive text messages and phone calls I still get, they tend to turn their heads away and just ignore it. I’m just blunt with them: I won’t let my wife around that type of behavior.
It is a difficult decision for you to be in, but I’d recommend full disclosure to you family. You’ll probably get heat. But that’s life (and much better than most alternatives.
[quote]belligerent wrote:
I would break up with the gf if you haven’t already. She is the company she keeps. I would also start collecting evidence to use against her in the custody battle in the event that it becomes necessary to take the child away from her due to the threat her uncle poses.[/quote]
With all due respect belligerent, there is too much of this “cut and run” shit in the world.
G12, if you care for your girlfriend try to help her through. That said… belligerent may be right. If she isn’t willing to change…
OP, your gf and her family are weak and have little morals or values. They will drag you down.
Do you hang out with weak people at the gym, or surround your self with stronger, smarter people?
Smell what I’m steppin’ in’?