[quote]jjackkrash wrote:
This is worth watching if you haven’t seen it:
This one time, this chick and I did this thing and it was awesome.
just trying to contribute…
This shit is depressing. I have no stories even remotely similar to these. fuck my life.
After a failed night out bar hopping, I was headed to catch a train to a booty call. On the walk to the train I see this girl driving stopped at a red light. I was drunk and started chatting and asked for a ride. She said sure to my surprise. I hopped in and asked her to take me home. She calls her mother on the speaker phone to tell her she picked up a stranger. Mom is not happy about this and tells her to get me out of the car.
Clearly I can hear this and tell Mom its all good Ill take care of her daughter. She gets to my house and comes in so I can fulfill my promise to mom. Before she left she tells me I’m now her awesome one night stand story, guess that one works both ways.
Ill add one more, I was out at a club with a bunch of friends. I was in a relationship and am not the cheating type but am a flirt. Im talking with this girl who clearly has the hots for me. She’s asking me to go home with her but she has to ditch her friends first. So she convinces me to give her my number and says she will call after she drops them off. I get home, was living with my friends. The girl calls and wants to meet up, Im not gonna but I tell my friend this girl was drunk and I think you could hit it.
We decide he will put on the outfit I was wearing and see if he can get it done. He meets her in a parking lot and all goes well. At one point my hat fell off his head and the girl says “you look different” but that didnt stop her from getting it in the backseat. More kudos to my boy but a great story regardless.
[quote]jj-dude wrote:
[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
I border on “pretty,” which I think is the problem. Like boy-band pretty. Also low body fat.
I just had a weird episode on a hunting trip – 8 guys, kids in tents. Drinking after the hunt, campfire. Last two watching the fire, when the other guy – a dad – went all Brokeback mountain on me out of the blue. I shoved him away with a “what the fuck!” and we haven’t spoke of it, but I won’t be around him again.
[/quote]
Had problems with gay guys (FYI no issue with them and by best buddy ever was a flaming queer) at the gym especially one summer when I managed to hit and maintain about 5% body fat. Normally a simple “not interested” suffices. So this one middle aged fat dude starts following me around and trying to talk about his dysfunctional mother, then about his trust fund. I dodge him and head to another part of the gym and he follows me.
We repeat this several times until I manage to give him the slip. Later I am in the shower which was just a big common room with dozens of nozzles and a couple of doors and look up to see this guy standing there with his cellphone, filming me. So I take out after him soaped up and buck nekkid through the locker room yelling at him I’d beat the shit out of him if he didn’t leave me alone. He ran off (and avoided me after that).
Quite a scene. I’m really surprised the cops didn’t get called on that one, but I’m pretty sure everyone else in the place took a really keen interest in the floor at that point…[/quote]
I had a close friend that was gay and without going to much into his personal life he shared a room with a girl different beds obviously but I feel the need to clarify. I live in a different province so one time I was visting him and we decided to go out for a drink mind you it was a Sunday so I was thinking pub setting for a few. I was very wrong. Ended up at a drag show which was fine and the two of us end up getting pretty drunk.
So we land back at his place and the girl had texted him saying I could sleep in her bed because she had kids and didn’t want them waking me up if I slept on the couch. So we go to bed and things start getting weird…
Him, “I shouldn’t go to the drag queens. It always makes me so horny”
Me, “That’s nice”
“It makes it worse that there’s such a hot guy in the bed across from me”
“Well thank you but we should probably just pass out”
“I don’t think you understand how much I just want to make out with you right now”
“Ok this is the part where you shut up and fall asleep”
I stayed awake until I thought he was asleep and then passed out myself. Get woken up by him crawling into bed with me and I snapped. Threw my forearm on his throat and yelled at him what the fuck do you think your doing get out of my bed right fucking now. He obliged fairly quickly.
The next morning we had breakfast and it wasn’t brought up and he acted like nothing happened but I still made a quick exit after that and haven’t talked to him since
[quote]Kamel wrote:
[quote]jj-dude wrote:
[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
I border on “pretty,” which I think is the problem. Like boy-band pretty. Also low body fat.
I just had a weird episode on a hunting trip – 8 guys, kids in tents. Drinking after the hunt, campfire. Last two watching the fire, when the other guy – a dad – went all Brokeback mountain on me out of the blue. I shoved him away with a “what the fuck!” and we haven’t spoke of it, but I won’t be around him again.
[/quote]
Had problems with gay guys (FYI no issue with them and by best buddy ever was a flaming queer) at the gym especially one summer when I managed to hit and maintain about 5% body fat. Normally a simple “not interested” suffices. So this one middle aged fat dude starts following me around and trying to talk about his dysfunctional mother, then about his trust fund. I dodge him and head to another part of the gym and he follows me.
We repeat this several times until I manage to give him the slip. Later I am in the shower which was just a big common room with dozens of nozzles and a couple of doors and look up to see this guy standing there with his cellphone, filming me. So I take out after him soaped up and buck nekkid through the locker room yelling at him I’d beat the shit out of him if he didn’t leave me alone. He ran off (and avoided me after that).
Quite a scene. I’m really surprised the cops didn’t get called on that one, but I’m pretty sure everyone else in the place took a really keen interest in the floor at that point…[/quote]
I had a close friend that was gay and without going to much into his personal life he shared a room with a girl different beds obviously but I feel the need to clarify. I live in a different province so one time I was visting him and we decided to go out for a drink mind you it was a Sunday so I was thinking pub setting for a few. I was very wrong. Ended up at a drag show which was fine and the two of us end up getting pretty drunk.
So we land back at his place and the girl had texted him saying I could sleep in her bed because she had kids and didn’t want them waking me up if I slept on the couch. So we go to bed and things start getting weird…
Him, “I shouldn’t go to the drag queens. It always makes me so horny”
Me, “That’s nice”
“It makes it worse that there’s such a hot guy in the bed across from me”
“Well thank you but we should probably just pass out”
“I don’t think you understand how much I just want to make out with you right now”
“Ok this is the part where you shut up and fall asleep”
I stayed awake until I thought he was asleep and then passed out myself. Get woken up by him crawling into bed with me and I snapped. Threw my forearm on his throat and yelled at him what the fuck do you think your doing get out of my bed right fucking now. He obliged fairly quickly.
The next morning we had breakfast and it wasn’t brought up and he acted like nothing happened but I still made a quick exit after that and haven’t talked to him since
[/quote]
Way to lead the guy on! Could have at least sucked his dick or something.
[quote]Sheed3K wrote:
Ill add one more, I was out at a club with a bunch of friends. I was in a relationship and am not the cheating type but am a flirt. Im talking with this girl who clearly has the hots for me. She’s asking me to go home with her but she has to ditch her friends first. So she convinces me to give her my number and says she will call after she drops them off. I get home, was living with my friends. The girl calls and wants to meet up, Im not gonna but I tell my friend this girl was drunk and I think you could hit it.
We decide he will put on the outfit I was wearing and see if he can get it done. He meets her in a parking lot and all goes well. At one point my hat fell off his head and the girl says “you look different” but that didnt stop her from getting it in the backseat. More kudos to my boy but a great story regardless. [/quote]
That’s awesome! It would have been better though if you went and tapped on the window and winked at her while she was riding your buddy.
[quote]on edge wrote:
[quote]Sheed3K wrote:
Ill add one more, I was out at a club with a bunch of friends. I was in a relationship and am not the cheating type but am a flirt. Im talking with this girl who clearly has the hots for me. She’s asking me to go home with her but she has to ditch her friends first. So she convinces me to give her my number and says she will call after she drops them off. I get home, was living with my friends. The girl calls and wants to meet up, Im not gonna but I tell my friend this girl was drunk and I think you could hit it.
We decide he will put on the outfit I was wearing and see if he can get it done. He meets her in a parking lot and all goes well. At one point my hat fell off his head and the girl says “you look different” but that didnt stop her from getting it in the backseat. More kudos to my boy but a great story regardless. [/quote]
That’s awesome! It would have been better though if you went and tapped on the window and winked at her while she was riding your buddy.[/quote]
At that point I doubt she could have picked me out of a lineup.
I saw an old hookup at the supermarket and it reminded me of a dating disaster/hook up disaster that I really regretted and perhaps even more so in hindsight.
Many moons ago, a couple bought a second home up by my house as a vacation house. Nice enough, the husband was a doctor of some kind and she was a hot in a skinny-fat girl kind of way. As in, she was very thin, but not remotely athletic. Very thin blond, Scandinavian, pretty, 40ish, mom, tended to wear yoga pants. Probably athletic back in the day. Kind of a jogger. Drove a pearl white Range Rover pretty mom type.
She would stay up at the house most of the summer, frequently alone or with the kids. (I believe they were from Lubbock, which is oppressive in the summer, while it is cool here in the mountains.)
Well, she was a serious day drinker, and probably night drinker, too. As in, she had a problem. Ironically, I think this is how she stayed thin, as I never saw her eat food, ever. She would walk along the road by my house and look down into the valley, and we became "hello, how are you? " level of friends.
One day, she ambled up the drive and asked if I had something to drink. I did and we hung out and laughed and she left.
This repeated a bit, as I work very early in the AM and am frequently home by 2:00-3:00 in the afternoon. She’d sit there and drink while I worked out in my garage and she “did yoga.” Sexual tension built pretty quickly.
This progressed to fucking whenever she was around, and she was pretty intense, would then leave, and go back to her house and (presumably) kids.
Anyway, I ended up seeing her husband in town, with all the kids in tow. He just looked sad and came up to me and told me to “not fuck her up any worse than she already is.”
I felt like the complete asshole that I was. He might as well have stabbed me, as I just had a massive pain in my chest.
She ended up in some sort of rehab and moved on, but I understand through another neighbor that it didn’t work.
Anyway, in hindsight, that is probably my greatest dating disaster, but it is not funny at all.
[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
Anyway, in hindsight, that is probably my greatest dating disaster, but it is not funny at all.[/quote]
Damn, dude…
-
The first girl I dated was into modelling. She was pretty damn hot (absolutely smoking body) and was used to guys doing her bidding. So it crushed her pretty bad when I broke up with her. She didn’t finally stop trying to pursue me until almost 4.5 years after we broke up, by which point I was verging on tearing out all my hair trying to figure out ways to make her leave.
-
A coworker took a shift I really needed her to take last minute. I asked how I could repay her. She wanted me to go out with her. She was pretty cute, so I agreed. Our date was awkwardly intruded upon by some 30 year old guy she met on the internet and had come up from out of town to see her. Creepy, since most of us were underage at the time. We met up with her sister (not cute at all) and our friends from work to go to the bar. The gay bar, since that was the only place where a bunch of underage kids could get in (she knew the right people).
The creepy old guy ended up leaving because everyone else thought he was weird. I proceeded to get really drunk. I ended up making out with both the girl I went out with and her sister, seconds after each other and repeatedly throughout the night. Went home with the sister. Last I remember before blacking out was things getting pretty heavy with the sister. For better or worse, I’ve never really gotten whiskey dick to this day. Woke up on top of the sister in a different place with my fly open to an extremely happy girl. I never talked to either of them again, which made work kind of awkward after that. That was not how I expected to lose my v-card…
- Was just starting to date a girl who would later become my first serious girlfriend. Was blackout drunk (see a pattern here?) at a frat party and texted her that I was going home with another girl and that she would just have to deal with it. Don’t remember much of what happened night, but, after hours of radio silence, she informed me that I texted her again that I had begun the long, meandering stagger home. She wasn’t happy, but she put up with it.
Did have to work pretty hard (I stayed faithful in my upcoming Europe trip… Do you have any idea how freaking hard that is???) to make it up to her, but it taught me a valuable lesson about how much shit girls will put up with if it comes from a guy they’re into. The biggest disaster occurred later though when she had my kid. Love the kid to death, but I’ll be paying for it for a looooooong time…
This one time I was married to this girl that I had kids with. I was having problems with her but we were working on it and it was getting better. But while it was getting better I started seeing my brother’s girlfriend and fell in love with her. One night my wife and I were fighting because I relapsed on heroine so I went over to see my brother’s girlfriend so I could smell her hair.