So… you don’t want to sleep with her, or be in any sort of sexual relationship with her?.. So you just want to be friends? Why are you concerned about a date if that’s the case?[/quote]
I DO NOT want to sleep with her. I DO want to date her and try to pursue her in a respectful manner. I want to wait until I am married to get down with the get down, and until that day comes I will date girls in a way that does not include sex of any sort. [/quote]
Perhaps this isnt the right place to ask for advice then! I’m pretty much in the same situation you are right now. Obviously you’ll have to find something she likes, and only you can do that. Maybe you can salvage some of the ideas you had for the date the douchebag ruined? Keep in mind you want a date where you two can talk and DO stuff together. Don’t go to a movie or any date where you don’t interact directly.
Personally for the first part of my date we went to do some sparring since we are both into martial arts. It was really fun and I’m sure she never had a date like that.
So… you don’t want to sleep with her, or be in any sort of sexual relationship with her?.. So you just want to be friends? Why are you concerned about a date if that’s the case?[/quote]
I DO NOT want to sleep with her. I DO want to date her and try to pursue her in a respectful manner. I want to wait until I am married to get down with the get down, and until that day comes I will date girls in a way that does not include sex of any sort. [/quote]
Fair enough. To each his own.[/quote]
I really appreciate your response. I cannot tell you how many people get ultra offended when I tell them that I am waiting till marriage to have sex, you think it was the end of the world or something.
Now onto the date ideas
Despite some being opposing view points on sex before marriage I feel like the general idea remains the same for several main points of dating.
I 100% agree with the finding something she likes. I obviously would not take the date ideas as a cookie cutter type deal, I would take it and make it my own. I just need help with the initial kick starting of my mind
So… you don’t want to sleep with her, or be in any sort of sexual relationship with her?.. So you just want to be friends? Why are you concerned about a date if that’s the case?[/quote]
I DO NOT want to sleep with her. I DO want to date her and try to pursue her in a respectful manner. I want to wait until I am married to get down with the get down, and until that day comes I will date girls in a way that does not include sex of any sort. [/quote]
Fair enough. To each his own.[/quote]
I really appreciate your response. I cannot tell you how many people get ultra offended when I tell them that I am waiting till marriage to have sex, you think it was the end of the world or something.
[/quote]
Hey, it’s a personal decision! I’m not a fan of normative ideas regarding a person’s sexuality, sexual choices, etc. It’s not a path I would go down (even if I still could, lol), but if you feel that’s what’s right for you, then more power to you.
I’d just beware about falling into the ‘friend’ trap with the woman you’re interested in. Unless she shares your views, that is.
Creativity is over rated. Do expensive creative stuff after youve been banging her a while. Focus for now on getting drunk somewhere close to where you can get busy.[/quote]
I am an extremely poor college kid so creativity is pretty much all I’ve got going for me right now[/quote]
There’s a ton of shit that doesn’t cost much. Museums are good. Go hiking or to a park or a lake. Find a microbrewery around you and see if they offer tours. Go to an airshow or go out for breakfast or go do some other kind of shit.
Type in “Free stuff to do in Texas” and you’d be surprised what you come up with, especially with summer coming (makes a difference here in NJ, maybe not so much where you are.)
I am trying to pursue her (not sleep with her) with the end goal being a relationship with her (not in a sexual way at all).
[/quote]
Stop.
Someone slap some sense into this poor guy before he gets his ass handed back to him. Im ALL for being respectful of others lifestyle choices as long as the latter arent treading on anybodys toes…but Im going to lay it down for you straight and TRUE here. Tommy, youre plunging straight into an asexual adventure I can abso-fucking-LUTELY [u]GUARANTEE you[/u] wont end the way youre wishing it will.
I hate to be blunt and decidedly crude but someones gotta say it like it is here; the pussy wont come yer way unless you git er WET. Now theres a whole lot more to attracting a lady than getting her gooey in the forks buddy but you`re dreaming in fairytale land if you believe that you can seduce this girl in a completely asexual way.
PM me if necessary but let me ask you this: how do you envision yourself sparking up this girls mind and emotions in lieu of said pursuit` for her to feel the necessary excitement and lust to fall for you…whilst remaining altogether asexual?
I’d just beware about falling into the ‘friend’ trap with the woman you’re interested in. Unless she shares your views, that is.
[/quote]
Tommy, listen to what this woman is saying. Notwithstanding the improbable yet admittedly possible scenario in which this girl you`re interested in actually shares your views, you are headed straight for the friend-zone, my friend. Not good.
OP, I wish you the best of luck with your date. May you find the happiness you desire and a woman that will play along with your ideals.
I suggest a game of scrabble. It will create stimulating conversation and there is virtually no way to “accidentally” make any sort of contact that could lead to any sort of sexual tension or anything that could be perceived as such.
When you fall in love with her and she fucks someone else because you weren’t there to fill her needs as a woman, I’ll be here to pat you on the head and tell you, “it’s all right” and talk to you about how the world works.
I know you’re not ready to listen right now, so I’ll just wish you the best on your creative date. Good luck and if by some miracle you prove me wrong, good for you. I hope you do. Best of luck.
I suggest a game of scrabble. It will create stimulating conversation and there is virtually no way to “accidentally” make any sort of contact that could lead to any sort of sexual tension or anything that could be perceived as such.
When you fall in love with her and she fucks someone else because you weren’t there to fill her needs as a woman, I’ll be here to pat you on the head and tell you, “it’s all right” and talk to you about how the world works.
[/quote]
Damn you to hell and back, chicken <grinnin` to hell and back> I damn near spewed a mouthful of food all over my fucking laptop with that there subtly savage lay-it-down-like-it-IS verbiage. Good fucking times you cruel fuck
Tommy, Id actually like to help you out, mate. How old are ya, for starters? What were saying here man is the way youre heading at the moment with this "I just wanna be friends with this girl but I ALSO want to be in a RELATIONSHIP with her"...aint gonna happen, buddy.
I honestly didn’t know what else to write. I mean you can’t talk sense in the that type of blind, self indulgent idealism… He’s gonna have to learn the hard way. It’ll be a tough row to hoe too… Depending on how deeply ingrained his Bullshit is, he may never have a normal relationship. I could almost smell the self-righteousness…
Here’s what’s going to happen: he’ll fall in love, she’ll put him in the friend zone but he’ll think they are “dating”, he’ll deploy to Afghanistan so that he can ‘kill the enemy’, she’ll write him a Dear John letter, his world will be crushed and he’ll dive on a grenade or something equally as foolish.
I hope not, for his sake, but that’s the bet I’d make.
OP, I’m not being a prick to you. I just see things a bit differently. Get your head out of your ass while you still can.
I hear ya chicken, believe me man, Ive given up on so many of my mates...you WOULDNT believe…heads so far up their arses they couldnt smell soaked pussy if it was handed to em
Nevertheless…Im a positive-spirited guy at heart, I like to help out and elevate my brethen when possible. Beliefs are such...I wont mess with that. But lets hear OPs story first.
These guys are right. If you aren’t fulfilling her sexual needs and wants than she will find some other guy to do the job. I understand that you want to wait and all that but unless you are interested in finding a girl that wants to wait as well, I can pretty much guarantee that this is going to end badly.
[quote]Rhino Jockey wrote:
These guys are right. If you aren’t fulfilling her sexual needs and wants than she will find some other guy to do the job. I understand that you want to wait and all that but unless you are interested in finding a girl that wants to wait as well, I can pretty much guarantee that this is going to end badly.[/quote]
I am trying to pursue her (not sleep with her) with the end goal being a relationship with her (not in a sexual way at all).
[/quote]
Stop.
Someone slap some sense into this poor guy before he gets his ass handed back to him. Im ALL for being respectful of others lifestyle choices as long as the latter arent treading on anybodys toes…but Im going to lay it down for you straight and TRUE here. Tommy, youre plunging straight into an asexual adventure I can abso-fucking-LUTELY [u]GUARANTEE you[/u] wont end the way youre wishing it will.
I hate to be blunt and decidedly crude but someones gotta say it like it is here; the pussy wont come yer way unless you git er WET. Now theres a whole lot more to attracting a lady than getting her gooey in the forks buddy but you`re dreaming in fairytale land if you believe that you can seduce this girl in a completely asexual way.
PM me if necessary but let me ask you this: how do you envision yourself sparking up this girls mind and emotions in lieu of said pursuit` for her to feel the necessary excitement and lust to fall for you…whilst remaining altogether asexual? [/quote]
‘asexual’…
I don’t think that word means what you think it means.
Tommy, Id actually like to help you out, mate. How old are ya, for starters? What were saying here man is the way youre heading at the moment with this "I just wanna be friends with this girl but I ALSO want to be in a RELATIONSHIP with her"...aint gonna happen, buddy.
Age?
[/quote]
Im 20.
Why do you think it is impossible to not sleep with a girl and still maintain a healthy relationship? I purposefully pursue women who I know share my belief systems and it works. I have had many healthy, non sexual relationships.
humans are sexual in nature. while it may not be impossible, it’s surely hard, and for many, pointless.
basically we are talking about a relationship of two people repressing the strongest natural instinct.
[quote]Rhino Jockey wrote:
These guys are right. If you aren’t fulfilling her sexual needs and wants than she will find some other guy to do the job. I understand that you want to wait and all that but unless you are interested in finding a girl that wants to wait as well, I can pretty much guarantee that this is going to end badly.[/quote]
How the heck can you guarantee that? Do you know who I attempt to date? Do you know anything about me at all? No sir you do not.
Just because I don’t bone the mess outta her doesn’t mean that my relationships will backfire on me.
Pack a picnic lunch. Bring her to the library and pick out some shit to read. Go to the park, eat & talk and then lay around on each other reading for the afternoon…
While that is kinda queer and lame, she is an english major… I just don’t see her looking for the hardcore biker badass.
But dude I’m a CPA, WTF do I know about romance. Beer got me laid in highschool and college ;), and I’m pretty sure my wife is on drugs…
[/quote]
Oh I about fel outta my chair. That’s awesome counting beans…“and I’m pretty sure my wife is on drugs…” Absolutely fabulous.
At any rate the kid put it out there for everyone to see and flame as deemed necessary, although I don’t think we should chastise him too hard for wanting to wait until he’s married to have sexual relations with a gal. Of course if it get’s to that point vada bing, bada boom. You just got play the game man. It sucks, but you just gotta get in there. Maybe you’ll get lucky and she’ll be a virgin as well and want to stay that way. Unlikely, but anything is possible. I would have to agree with most other guys that posted.
However, onto your date ideas:
-Take her to a play (English major + theater = good times; oh, yeah damn we covered that part already)
-Wine tasting (oh, forgot not 21 yet)
-Coffee (always good to have a short date to get to know one another better, that way you can figure out what to do on the next date, since you plan to have a relationship)
-Concerts are always good (she likes English, maybe she likes music too)
-Is their a beach next by, you could go for a road trip to the beach and make a day of it, or perhaps an aquarium
-Crap tons of stuff to do…just think of something easy, cheap, and from the ‘heart’ that’s the most important part. If she digs you, she digs you. If not, it’s not like you’ll be getting any anyways.
