That was a great answer. It’s crazy how many things can affect the appearance of someone’s muscle or overall physique. Water retention plays such an interesting role too.
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Maybe you could go full-on Greg Valentino. If having big arms is good, having enormous arms injected with wet cottage cheese might be incredible. What could go wrong?
(My big arms are the result of years of work. I’m sure yours are too, and am obviously joking. Just wanted an excuse to repost the oddest thing I ever read on T-Nation. Years later and I am still shaking my head…)
Good call. The bigger the better. I’m jotting this down for next time. Cottage cheese arms for the win.
Yeah it’s wild. Honestly though, it’s not too different than the injected diaper-butt trend which thankfully seems to be out of style now.
Full-ish minus back and most other things because I couldn’t get my heart rate under control for some reason.
Actually kind of a hodgepodge workout.
Hip Thrust
Dip
Leg Press
Bicep Insanity
I prefer every other day sessions, but I’ll probably go back tomorrow and fit in what I missed today.
Other Stuff
Pretty sure that’s my face. They just took a picture of my face for this meme.
Poor guy.
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I thought those roads were fixed already! 
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Avoiding back and shoulder work kinda messes with things, so I’m just doing full-ish body sessions. I’m also staying away from lower body stuff that’s going to set back my scap/shoulder recovery. So… no deads for now.
Superset:
Walking Lunge: 3 x out and back controlled
Push-Up: 3 x 10 controlled full ROM
The empty group fitness room is perfect for this. Also a great way to get yourself a little out of breath.
Leg Press: 5x5
Dip: 4 x 5-7
Alternating Curl: 4 x 20, 15, 10, 8
Nice upper body pump. If your biceps and pecs are tight, this stretch from Tom Morrison is the best stretch in the world: best stretch in the world
Leg Extension: 4 x 1 min drop set, 1 min off
Abs
Random Plant Update
Mainly I just needed an excuse to add pretty things to this log. If you have any nature or plant pictures, show them off!
This monstera was super slow-growing the first year, but leaf number 6 is on the way! And the plant (on the left) my friend gave me looks like an Easter cactus judging by the little pink flowers that bloomed on Sunday.
Not So Random Psycho-Social Update
Remember how I told you about this phenomenon where certain females get clingy with me? Well with this most recent one, I called it before things got really weird!
Last week I told my stand-up teacher that I was hesitant to attend a different class and run the risk of bumping into her. And he couldn’t share details (I wouldn’t want him to), but he informed me that she crossed some major boundaries with other people.
So, turns out I’m not crazy; just intuitive. Trust your instincts.
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Today’s Weird Session
Superset
Lateral Raise: 4 x failure
Alternating Curl (with iso-holds): 4 x failure
Keeping tension in the anterior and medial delts might be the key to preventing my scap /rear delt thing from flaring up. But we’ll see. This was an awesome combination for the arms and shoulders. Definitely got pumped.
Superset: EMO2M
Split Lunge Jump 4 x 8 each side
Push-Up x 10
This felt like metcon and I’m here for it. The leggies are still pleasantly sore from Monday’s workout, and I wanted to focus on something different than load. So, you’ve got two minutes to complete the set of lunge jumps and controlled, full ROM push-ups. I like completing the lunges then resting till there’s 1:15 left, then hitting the push-ups.
Hip Thrust 4 x 10 full ROM, then burnout partials at top after each set
I went to sit on the floor for ab work after this, and the butt pain was almost unbearable.
Abs
Other Stuff
Chris just sent me a MAD TV pic and it goes perfectly with how sitting on the ab mat area felt.
Stewart might be the best character in all of sketch comedy.
The square pizza and the chocolate milk in those little cardboard containers brings back a nostalgia like nothing else.
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Plants looking happy and healthy Dani, you must be talking to them just right.
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You should see what the feds send for breakfast.
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My grandma was a lunch lady at my grade school… had unlimited pizza squares through entire childhood
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Aww what a gal! I think one of my grandmas was a lunch lady for a period of time too, but I hadn’t been born yet.
Love lunch ladies! 
Yesterday’s Workout
Superset:
Hip thrust
Dip
Leg press
DB Chest Press
Leg extension
Superset:
Bicep curl pyramid
Push-up to failure
The Stand-Up Showcase
It was a magical night. I got to go last, which felt surreal. That either means I’m super funny or a teacher’s pet. Probably the latter. I don’t care. I’m just happy about all the things.
The little bicep flex did get a crowd reaction, which allowed me to hold it a tad longer and do a spontaneous callback to my first bit on narcissism. Being on stage feels like your first crush. You get the butterflies, not knowing how you’ll be received, and a million little opportunities to improvise. The more imperfect you are (while owning it) the harder they laugh. It’s just beautiful.
Two of my improv friends came and two of my church friends came, so it was neat to be supported like that and see those worlds come together.
This is going to sound woo-woo but I’ve been mentally preparing for the stage by thinking about how much I love the audience, and it seems to work. I can’t explain it, but it feels like the love bounces back to you and then you perform better.
Good vibes and all that junk. 
It’s probably just psychology though. Focusing on loving people will make you comfortable on stage because you’re not worried about their opinions. In your mind, they are already your besties. And having that mindset shifts your body language to a warmer and more relaxed demeanor, which is important when you’re telling everyone about your boobs.
Stuff that Resonates Too Much
Misunderstood! Let people assume what they want… even if they’re wrong. If they care, they’ll ask.
Being out of the loop is freedom.
Dream scenario. I love my (somewhat flakey) easy friendships and am lucky to have a couple girlfriends like this.
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Wednesday Workout: Full-ish Body
Deadlift: 5 x 5
Banded No-Money Drill (between sets)
I’m starting to suspect that the pain in the scap/shoulder girdle area might be caused by weak rhomboids. Maybe it’s something having to do with overworked traps and lats that are pulling on the rhomboids…? It’s just a hunch at this point.
Superset:
Walking Lunge: 3 x out and back
Push-Up: 3 x 10
Got a little winded here. But I looooove push-ups and often use them to determine whether or not my nervous system can handle a workout. If they come easily and feel smooth and light (no grinding it out), then it’s a good day to lift. If I can’t even get a single rep, it’s a good day to get some extra walking in, or sit around complaining about not being able to do a single push-up.
Superset:
Lateral Raise
Dumbbell Curl
The anterior delts kinda got clobbered here. I know most trainers would not recommend this combo but I don’t care. I’ve gotta lay off any rear-delt emphasis until that scap irritation gets solved for good. Feels like it’s heading in the right direction.
Superset
Cable Tricep Pushdowns
Banded Unilateral Straight Arm Pulldown
Meh, anything with bands feels more like a drill than an exercise. But focusing on proper form with those straight arm pulldowns might also be helping with the scap stuff. We’ll see.
Other Stuff
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Shark Week Workout
Well yesterday was not great, but it was something. The shoulder got worse after last week’s experiments, so I’ve been going easy.
Split Lunge Jump
Push-Up
Butt Machine
Dip
I’m planning for a better workout today.
Psycho-Social Update
My clinger signed up to take stand-up classes now too. And that means I’m done.
Stand-up is hard enough as it is. The class stretches you. The assignments stretch you. It’s fun, but you kind of expose yourself to people, which is fine in a room full of strangers or a room full of friends. Both of those scenarios feel safe.
But I don’t think my nervous system can handle the vulnerability required to go on stage every week while navigating an environment with someone who’s proven to be toxic.
So, no. This is not happening. A more powerful version of me could do it, but I’m not there yet.
A Bit of Catharsis
I recommend turning your weird baggage into material.
Question: is this about hiding puppies in my bra or breast implant removal?
Answer: Yes.
Question: Is this about getting tied up by a kidnapper or people pleasing?
Answer: Yes and at the same time.
Question: Is this laughing at my own jokes?
Answer: Clearly.
Question: Is this the “relaxed” pose in figure or just standing like a weirdo?
Answer: Correct.
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Sorry to read this. Totally understand, though, and that’d be me under similar circumstances.
FWIW, genuine LOL for the rest of this post!
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Thank you for the kind words and relating to my weirdness. That means a lot. 
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Sorry to hear this. But, the photos look fun!
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Yep. Time to move on to paying gigs, a comedy troop and international stardom.
Actual response:
Very sorry to hear.
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No idea, but shoulders look great either way. Quality
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UGH!! This sucks so much. I’m so sorry, but totally get it. Maybe you could pivot and do HILARIOUS reels on Insta. I mean, I’d be there for it. Don’t stifle your funny because of one annoying piece of Velcro. Own your awesome, my girl!!
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