Just catching up and DANG!! Girl, I’m so glad you’re okay and clot-free!
Varicose veins suck but a pulmonary or cardiac embolism because a blood clot moved would have been so much worse.
I’m sending you a great big hug, lots of hard- lump go away energy, and most importantly, a boatload of prayers. 
Thank you.
I’m really glad that you and Chris can take this worry off of your plate. And thanks for the welcome. I will do my best not to slide back off into lurker obscurity, but that’s unfortunately more of the way I’m wired.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to me, if you guys need talk about any of this, moving forward.
Thank you so much! It was a weird morning but everything is good. What a relief! I might go see a vein specialist sometime in the future since the goblin causes some burning pain but at least I don’t have to worry about the dangerous stuff.
It actually might be a sign that I need to stop crossing my legs when seated, or make sure to get up and walk around more often. I dunno, but all in all things are good!
I’m just so relieved that you’re okay!! Praise Jesus for that.
If it makes you feel any better, I have a large pea-sized calf goblin on my left calf. It goes in phases of discomfort and then not even knowing it’s there.
And now, we get to add calf-goblin to our list of similarities too! 
What the heck?! Our list is only getting longer and weirder!! 
The leg has both superficial and deep veins. The superficial ones are close to the surface. Clots in the superficial venous system cause varicose veins but are not dangerous and cannot affect your breathing. Deep clots cannot usually be palpated.
It is probably just a lump of fat, some scarred connective tissue or an implanted control chip. Have you recently been craving “Mountain Dew”? Not sure what calf goblins prefer.
Doc seemed pretty sure it’s a kinked up vein. But calf gobblin is my official diagnosis now.
Luckily the little guy hates Mountain Dew because gross. 
“What do you have to wash this awful taste out of my mouth?”
“Mountain Dew. Or crab juice.”
“Bleccch. I’ll take the crab juice.”
Lower Body
This doesn’t look hardcore, but my glutes, hams, and back columns feel all sorts of pumped afterward. And yes, that is now the colloquial term for spinal erectors. If glutes are called a butt, then spinal erectors are back columns. I make the rules.
Ascending load, descending reps on this.
In general, the better I get at achieving a mind muscle connection with this machine, the less a heavy load is necessary to fatigue the glutes.
Lying Leg Curl: 3 x 10-12 (drop set)
Incline Walk
Naming the Calf Goblin
He will henceforth be known as Bartholomew.
I’m testing something out with castor oil. The hippies on YouTube say it does everything, so why not try it for this? I poured some out on a bandage and stuck it to Bartholomew before we hit the sack.
And I can tell you one thing, after keeping him bandaged with castor oil all night and all morning, I haven’t had as much weird burning today. So there’s that. I’m not expecting this thing to completely go away, but you never know.
Other Stuff
What an interesting phenomenon.
Honor the social battery. People can’t call you flakey if you never commit to doing stuff in the first place.
The king of quick punchlines.
The only thing you really have to worry about is when they rush you right through, and everybody starts moving really fast.
Glad you got some insight into Bartholomew, and that its not all of the most terrible possibilities that google has to offer.
Some people looked like they needed to be rushed through. Definitely counting my blessings today.
Haha thanks! 
There are many!
A friend of mine did some triage training for mass casualties events. He said you walk up and tell them "Everybody that wants to see a doctor, raise your hand and say I! " then you disregard the ones that spoke and raised hand and treat the ones that can’t speak or move.
I thought that was pretty clever. 
I like to think of this as a Hyper dense ball of muscle caused by exposure to extreme calf training over a long period of time. A small part of your calf is literally hyper jacked. Quality. Glad you are OK.
Very! Great idea and story.
Ah thanks for making me feel good! You’re a great friend.
You do you.
But to me, a lump might be more of an oobleck than a Bartholomew.
Perhaps you know a sketchy Bartholomew…
The real Mitch Hedberg was talking about doing drugs, not the government.
Bartholomew is an interesting name for a goblin. The best thing about it is the name sounds benign, like an exasperated mother talking to her child. It works well for calf snickerdoodles.
Upper
Straight-Arm Lat Pulldown
Tricep Pulldown
Seated Row
Arnold Press
Lateral Raise
DB Incline Bench
Bicep EZ-Bar Curl
Random Thoughts
One perk of the stand-up classes is sharing hobby with your spouse. I can’t recommend this enough. With any activity as long as both of you enjoy it. But we find ourselves chatting about potential bit ideas and looking for things that make us laugh.
This particular activity seems to have some type of pattern-recognition effect too. Psychology experts often talk about how your brain will find evidence for whatever you believe and focus on. This could actually be a bad thing if you think the world is conspiring against you or you think you’re a loser. But when your mind is trained to look for the funny or the positive, you end up finding it and enjoying life a lot more.
On another note, I’m still working through the Old Testament and enjoying psalms immensely right now. I believe the Bible is a powerful antidepressant. My brain has found pretty significant evidence for this.
I might try that.
