Lol, type of trick that only works once. The second time the Fanny pack made an appearance, i was forced to lose it before leaving the house
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Ok I have to show another option and would love some more opinions.
I think it looks like a maternity dress but it was the first one I purchased for this wedding. It’s “appropriate” but it makes me feel like a cow. Thoughts?
I have purchased 7 dresses so far and still haven’t found anything that 1. the bride seems okay with and 2. that I actually like.
That’s paint on my forearm, not a faded tattoo. I lost balance and caught myself on a wall of fresh paint yesterday.
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Well now I’m thinking about finding one that might match my dress! 
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This one actually probably ranks as my favorite, mainly due to color. I think the deeper hue compliments your skin tone better. The lighter colors, like those shown previously, blend in too much, which tends to be less flattering given your hair color. Plus, this one also showcases your upper body musculature while still maintaining enough modesty to not offend any bride.
Now if you will excuse me, I’m off to go download Grindr and have an awkward convo with the Mrs…
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Exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you SO much.
HAHAHAHA!!!
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HAHHAA!!!
Dress A! Very pretty!
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Navy
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I thought about this joke. Then thought better of it, only for you to make it for me.
So….
Edit: clicked the wrong meme
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I saw my opportunity and I took it, because that’s what heroes do.
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From what I remember of weddings, I’m not sure these two goals will ever coexist!
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I say Dress A all the way!!! LOVE IT!!! 
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This seems true. But it’s probably better to err on the side of being considerate than overtly sexy.
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I love it too! Chris really loved it as well. But I’m worried about showing up and feeling out of place, or inconsiderate because it’s so revealing.
Another option. This is the most appropriate, (and bride approved) but it only comes in a color that completely washes me out.
If you guys think it looks better than the others, then I’ll go back for it.
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I don’t feel like it’s anymore revealing than the others - it shows less arms/back and just looks super cute. And ya know, look at it this way - people are going to talk regardless of what you choose, if you go with A, they’ll say it was too short if you go with one of the long ones with arm and back exposure, they’re gonna talk about how muscular you are and we all know that at least one person will have a problem with that. At the end of the day though, how much are any of these people’s opinions going to affect your life going forward. Do you interact with them often? Do you even care that much? Just go, be comfortable knowing you look great and have fun. Who cares what the peanut gallery thinks!
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I still say Dress A is the winner. This one is definitely the most conservative, but reminds of a bridesmaid dress I remember my mom wearing for her sister’s wedding back in the 80’s. It’s not bad, but it lacks personality and I’m a big fan of personality.
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HAHAHA YES! It reminds me of a pale pink nightgown my mom wore in the 90s. She hated the color but my grandma kept gifting her pale pink nightgowns.
Weirdly enough, I think my mom would love for me to wear that dress.
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Well now I just wish you lived out here because we need to be friends in real life. 
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FOR REAL!!
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Well, if it’s any consolation, my mom would love it if I did a lot of things that I don’t… 
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