2025 Resolution: Be a People Displeaser
I started saying no to things I didn’t want to do nearing the end of 2024, thanks in large part to the book @Andrewgen_Receptors recommended. And the better I’ve gotten at it, the more confident and genuine I’ve become.
So, my goal is to lean into the idea of displeasing people, and to authentically say yes only to things I can do from a place of love… not out of a sense of obligation or to show people that I’m a “good” person.
Do I second guess this choice? Of course. There are a lot of what-ifs. Like, what if someone dies?!
Well, they will. Trying to be the person everyone else approves of won’t lengthen their lives or mine. And it’s not my responsibility to please those who routinely make me feel bad.
Helpful Material
If this resolution resonates, here are some extra resources.
The bill of assertive rights is at the very beginning of the book, “When I Say No I Feel Guilty” and it’s pretty powerful even without a complete explanation of everything on this list:
If you haven’t heard of the “Let Them Theory” you need to check it out asap.
Here’s the podcast if you want to listen while you drive:
This is the most liberating thing in pop psychology, particularly if you’re afraid of people thinking you’re a terrible person. Here’s a hint: Let them. And you can apply this mental strategy to nearly every situation.
The Let Them book goes even deeper and adds a let me component to it. This came out on Christmas Eve and I devoured it. (Well, I devoured the brunt of it and didn’t quite finish the fluff that the publisher required to reach a length-quota.)
And finally, this interview Chris Williamson did with Nick Pollard is so compelling that I’ve listened to and replayed several segments of it on both YouTube and apple podcasts.
