Some shithead just threw a baseball through my front window, with every light in the house on nonetheless, because we had my aunt and uncle over for dinner. Ran outside w/ my brother and jumped in the car and couldn’t find them. God Damn Fucking Punks. There’s a middle school bus stop and a high school bus stop right down the street. So Tuesday we’re gonna bring 100$ cash and see if we can get someone to sing.
Any other ideas? (FYI- our homeowners claim has a $1,000 deductible after the raccoons fucked the attic up so my mom doesn’t want to call em just yet) If my goddam German Shepherd weren’t still a puppy I would have let her out, didn’t even cross my mind at the time. Fuckers
Find the house and put an open bottle of lighter fluid in a bag,put it on the front porch, light the bag on fire and ring the door bell.When someone comes out it starts stomping on the bag it will explode!
Find the persons house and bring a ball and bat. Make sure someones home and hit the ball into their window and runaway, bring binoculars and you can enjoy their parents pissed off faces.
find the person’s house and get a chainmail suit of armor or a sharksuit. also a lunk alarm from a PF. then get a car battery and attach it to your body with a spare lifting belt. then attach wires between the chainmail suit and the battery, then run around the house shocking people with bearhugs screaming “HOLY FUCKING MACARONI” while i stand outside and set off the lunk alarm and do a little dance
[quote]HolyMacaroni wrote:
find the person’s house and get a chainmail suit of armor or a sharksuit. also a lunk alarm from a PF. then get a car battery and attach it to your body with a spare lifting belt. then attach wires between the chainmail suit and the battery, then run around the house shocking people with bearhugs screaming “HOLY FUCKING MACARONI” while i stand outside and set off the lunk alarm and do a little dance[/quote]
And while you are doing that, fucking beat the shit out of holy mac for not posting that lunk alarm video yet.
Nothing personal.
Back to the original post, let the dog loose on em.
[quote]martyh wrote:
Some shithead just threw a baseball through my front window, with every light in the house on nonetheless, because we had my aunt and uncle over for dinner. Ran outside w/ my brother and jumped in the car and couldn’t find them. God Damn Fucking Punks. There’s a middle school bus stop and a high school bus stop right down the street. So Tuesday we’re gonna bring 100$ cash and see if we can get someone to sing.
Any other ideas? (FYI- our homeowners claim has a $1,000 deductible after the raccoons fucked the attic up so my mom doesn’t want to call em just yet) If my goddam German Shepherd weren’t still a puppy I would have let her out, didn’t even cross my mind at the time. Fuckers[/quote]
You sure they werent just playing baseball and it accidentally went through your window?
[quote]MangoMan305 wrote:
martyh wrote:
Some shithead just threw a baseball through my front window, with every light in the house on nonetheless, because we had my aunt and uncle over for dinner. Ran outside w/ my brother and jumped in the car and couldn’t find them. God Damn Fucking Punks. There’s a middle school bus stop and a high school bus stop right down the street. So Tuesday we’re gonna bring 100$ cash and see if we can get someone to sing.
Any other ideas? (FYI- our homeowners claim has a $1,000 deductible after the raccoons fucked the attic up so my mom doesn’t want to call em just yet) If my goddam German Shepherd weren’t still a puppy I would have let her out, didn’t even cross my mind at the time. Fuckers
You sure they werent just playing baseball and it accidentally went through your window?[/quote]
At 8:30 in 40egree weather in either of my neighbor’s driveways across the street? I’d be willing to bet showing a 100$ bill to the kids at the bus stop will get someone to open up though. Assuming they’re locals. I hate those fuckers. If I find out who it is I’m gonna fuck their mom while the dad watches, tie the kid up and cut a hole in his throat and stick an old mother hubbard P-Nuttier dog treat in and let Payton go to town.
[quote]martyh wrote:
MangoMan305 wrote:
martyh wrote:
Some shithead just threw a baseball through my front window, with every light in the house on nonetheless, because we had my aunt and uncle over for dinner. Ran outside w/ my brother and jumped in the car and couldn’t find them. God Damn Fucking Punks. There’s a middle school bus stop and a high school bus stop right down the street. So Tuesday we’re gonna bring 100$ cash and see if we can get someone to sing.
Any other ideas? (FYI- our homeowners claim has a $1,000 deductible after the raccoons fucked the attic up so my mom doesn’t want to call em just yet) If my goddam German Shepherd weren’t still a puppy I would have let her out, didn’t even cross my mind at the time. Fuckers
You sure they werent just playing baseball and it accidentally went through your window?
At 8:30 in 40egree weather in either of my neighbor’s driveways across the street? I’d be willing to bet showing a 100$ bill to the kids at the bus stop will get someone to open up though. Assuming they’re locals. I hate those fuckers. If I find out who it is I’m gonna fuck their mom while the dad watches, tie the kid up and cut a hole in his throat and stick an old mother hubbard P-Nuttier dog treat in and let Payton go to town.[/quote]
[quote]martyh wrote:
Some shithead just threw a baseball through my front window, with every light in the house on nonetheless, because we had my aunt and uncle over for dinner. Ran outside w/ my brother and jumped in the car and couldn’t find them. God Damn Fucking Punks. There’s a middle school bus stop and a high school bus stop right down the street. So Tuesday we’re gonna bring 100$ cash and see if we can get someone to sing.
Any other ideas? (FYI- our homeowners claim has a $1,000 deductible after the raccoons fucked the attic up so my mom doesn’t want to call em just yet) If my goddam German Shepherd weren’t still a puppy I would have let her out, didn’t even cross my mind at the time. Fuckers[/quote]
I dont get it 100 bucks to find out who did it for a window that costs how much to replace?
find out where they live first. soften them up by blasting the sound of pigs being butchered or lions fucking in the wild through a set of huge PA speakers every night for a week in front of the house. Then one night, hotwire whatever car happens to be in their driveway and announce your presence by driving that fucker right through the front door. Then throw a Molotov cocktail into the house. Hide in the bushes.
When everyone comes running out to investigate, grab the punk and drag him around the house into the backyard and rape him. Take a picture of your cock ballsdeep in his asshole and post it all over the Internet, preferably on his school’s website first. If he has any pets, take them, kill them (slowly) and barbecue them. Take the barbecued body to their house as a condolence gift (hopefully you’ll have disguised yourself so they’ll never suspect you) and watch them open up your Tupperware container with poor little Fido burnt to a crisp inside.
Ask them if they’d some BBQ sauce to go with it. Then take the ball they threw through your window and drill one of them in the face with it. That’ll teach him to fuck with you.
[quote]HolyMacaroni wrote:
find the person’s house and get a chainmail suit of armor or a sharksuit. also a lunk alarm from a PF. then get a car battery and attach it to your body with a spare lifting belt. then attach wires between the chainmail suit and the battery, then run around the house shocking people with bearhugs screaming “HOLY FUCKING MACARONI” while i stand outside and set off the lunk alarm and do a little dance[/quote]
Optheta: it’s a big ass bay window it’s gonna cost a few 100.
[quote]artw wrote:
find out where they live first. soften them up by blasting the sound of pigs being butchered or lions fucking in the wild through a set of huge PA speakers every night for a week in front of the house. Then one night, hotwire whatever car happens to be in their driveway and announce your presence by driving that fucker right through the front door. Then throw a Molotov cocktail into the house. Hide in the bushes.
When everyone comes running out to investigate, grab the punk and drag him around the house into the backyard and rape him. Take a picture of your cock ballsdeep in his asshole and post it all over the Internet, preferably on his school’s website first. If he has any pets, take them, kill them (slowly) and barbecue them. Take the barbecued body to their house as a condolence gift (hopefully you’ll have disguised yourself so they’ll never suspect you) and watch them open up your Tupperware container with poor little Fido burnt to a crisp inside.
Ask them if they’d some BBQ sauce to go with it. Then take the ball they threw through your window and drill one of them in the face with it. That’ll teach him to fuck with you. [/quote
[quote]martyh wrote:
If my goddam German Shepherd weren’t still a puppy I would have let her out, didn’t even cross my mind at the time. Fuckers[/quote]
Yeah, that’s smart, let the dog out to bite someone (assuming he would in the first place). That would do wonders for the homeowners premium and if you’re lucky…drumroll plese, get the dog ruled a dangerous animal subject to certain restrictions or even death. Yeah…that’s a plan.
…And the biggest thing you cared to do was go on T-Nation and rant about it. Have you also hit up Craigslist to rant as well? Sure, it’s entertaining, but dude, you should have been doing other things to solve the problem. Like contacting the FBI. A baseball through the window is a federal offense. They could be charged as adults and get their asses thrown into the prison showers.
If I did it and you offered me a $100 to tell you who did it I would tell you some other shithead did it and take your hundred.
Your best bet is to call CSI New York to check for finger prints and GSR. Then finger print all the kids at the bus stop. Call them into your house and interrogate them under bright light while throwing water on them. Take the baseball and throw it at them until they admit to doing it.
[quote]martyh wrote:
Some shithead just threw a baseball through my front window, with every light in the house on nonetheless, because we had my aunt and uncle over for dinner. Ran outside w/ my brother and jumped in the car and couldn’t find them. God Damn Fucking Punks. There’s a middle school bus stop and a high school bus stop right down the street. So Tuesday we’re gonna bring 100$ cash and see if we can get someone to sing.
Any other ideas? (FYI- our homeowners claim has a $1,000 deductible after the raccoons fucked the attic up so my mom doesn’t want to call em just yet) If my goddam German Shepherd weren’t still a puppy I would have let her out, didn’t even cross my mind at the time. Fuckers[/quote]
God damn it, someone really hates your aunt and uncle.
What I don’t get though is if you know that your aunt and uncle being round for dinner was the motivation for them throwing the ball through the window how you don’t know who did it?
Keep the baseballs then go blind and lock your dog up FOREVER FOREVER…It would be like a real life Sandlot. You gotta name your dog Hercules and if you have any Latino looking kids around automatically call them The Jet and a kid with glasses is Squints… You get the idea… This would be awesome.
or you could shove the baseball up your ass for a day or two, and then find the nice young men who lost it through the window and return it to them. that way, it’s win / win. you get to test run a new anal “bead” and they get their ball back. whaddya think?