We are in the very early stages of sports and activities in general. My daughter is enrolled in a few activities to both test interest and so she can begin learning things.
I intentionally chose taekwondo as an activity for the discipline and lessons it instills aside from the kicking and fun.
They cover many ideas and even thought processes systematically and one slogan they drill and recite as part of their belt progression at her age (Cubs) is “Winners never quit and quitters never win, I’m not a quitter, I’m a winner!”
At this age they don’t do forms and they do test on various kicks, defense stances et cetera however everybody passes if they show some semblance of understanding. They do have to know the various phrases and lessons they are taught (which will be replaced by forms later).
Our questions are similar to yours with your daughter because we want her to enjoy the experience enough to keep doing it and do it enthusiastically as we know she is absorbing values with experiences.
Through her toddler phase and pre-taekwondo we worked hard to redirect frustrated emotion to desire to find a way by suggesting trying again, trying a different way and finally asking for help. It worked a little, and I know age was a factor as she got better at managing emotion but as early as four at taekwondo she began reciting the winner phrase unprompted through frustrations in and out of taekwondo.
And she has used to it draw on for tough activities like finishing monkey bars, building Lincoln log sets, counting to 200, and all the small things that are giant challenges at her age. She can pass kindergarten right now and starts next fall. She has even managed to learn some Spanish. Not taekwondo related directly but she takes it upon herself to learn and she actually embraces challenge and it’s because the value of working through and getting on top has been instilled already, with any easily digestible catch phrase we were able to explain internalized to pivot on.
And this is where I would revisit the posts earlier about creating structure and leading through it. Become the highway. Be an open road but with lanes and dividers. Keep quitting and the thought spiral it devolves in to on the other side, in the opposite direction.
Love them in loss and struggle, sympathize then encourage. Instill drive and desire towards a goal achievement (winning an event in a controlled athletic scenario) which is initially beyond a horizon a kid can see on their own. It’s one of those funny things you have to do and then look back on to understand and appreciate. Cue a parent, coach or mentor. Someone who can pull them out of themselves and guide on the way.
It’s not a competition between being emotionally supportive and encouraging or supporting drive and tenacity as a parent. They can and should coexist. And this is true for any leadership role frankly.
