If you love your beer… get a box of tissues and observe:
[quote]danmaftei wrote:
If you love your beer… get a box of tissues and observe:
[/quote]
Aww man, dead before they realized their true reason for being here on earth…
I was once mistaken for a Lybian terroist, and held at gun point by 5 park rangers.
Good times.
I rode from one side of my hometown to the other (to my house) while riding on my friends’ parents station wagons’ hood. Took about 20 minutes. Got up to 60 mph on my street.
Made several trips over a hill we called “thrill hill”… over RR tracks) in my Ford Truck in order to see who (my friend in his Nova) could jump the farthest. It was a tie but I saw the entire undercarrieage of his car before he landed.
Trying a “stunt” in the same truck while my soon-to-be girlfriend chased us around Brockton MA; drive in reverse as fast as possible, snap steering wheel to the right, spin truck around and jam it in first gear without letting off the gas (5 speed)and continue on forward without losing speed. Almost worked except we almost rolled (and I mean it was CLOSE!). My soon-to-be girlfriend told me she saw the undercarriage of my truck from the side.
Seems every stupid thing I’ve ever done involves vehicles.
I took my soon-to-be wife 4 wheeling in my highly modified Suzuki Samurai and did a slow roll on to her side. She began to unbuckle and I said "oh, no! you’re not going anywhere!) If she had gotten out, we would’ve rolled all the way over. It was so close to flipping all the way that I was able to roll it back the other way by myself. That was 4 years ago and she hasn’t been off-road with me again.
[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
I killed a bunch of people once.[/quote]
I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you’re probably wanted for murder.
I was bartending my boy’s art opening one night, and an older woman came to the bar and asked for a water and a wine. I told her “The last guy who asked for that got pinned to a cross.” My other boy who was standing right there spit his beer out he was laughing so hard. These types of quotes are a pretty regular thing for/from me.
Sorry, I thought this was the craziest thing you’ve ever SAID. I’ll get back to you.
[quote]TriGWU wrote:
dahun2 wrote:
TriGWU wrote:
Break 50mph in my aerobars (no brakes) on a downhill on Boston Post Road.
For you North Easterners you know thats pretty populated :-).
Now if I only knew what an “Aerobar” was, I might understand this.
Could it possibly be someplace you stop to get drunk in the sky?
Here is a picture of Lance in aerobars (the handle bars where the arms are brought together and outstraight (elbows rest on pads). [/quote]
I am pretty sure that picture is of George Hincapie!
Wow - thats terrible dude 
Actually I you’re right.
The sunglasses and thicker calves give it away.
BTW. Have you see the f-in vericose vein on his left calf! Google it.
LMFAO!
OMG…
[quote]carter12 wrote:
There probably are better ones but might as well post the one that makes me look really stupid…
Drank way too many shots back to back after drinking a lot of beer
decided to half walk and half let my buddy carry me around the apartments which were on campus
found 3 girls
asked “which one of yall are tryin to get fucked in the face”, which seemed like a great line
surprisingly, all 3 declined
walked about 15 feet from there
pushed over a motorcycle (frustrated because the pick up line that i just learned from david d’angelo’s advanced drunken stupor techniques volume 2 failed)
the cops were upstairs for some reason so they ran down when upon hearing the motorcycle crash
took off running, tripped, got up and ran some more
realized there was no chance in hell I was gonna get away so threw my beer down and yelled “yall don’t got shit on me”
cops really had shit on me
beer bottle broke (i became sad and almost cried)
was put in hand cuffs
asked the female cop for her number she replied, “911, asshole”
called one of the male cops barney fife, the others mf’ers and punk bitches
continued to cuss them out, then cussed out the magistrate.
he sets really expensive bond
spent the night in jail
still didn’t realize I had major problems so more great stories followed
ah, the memories[/quote]
My 18th birthday, a bunch of us rented a hotel room and bought cases of beer. Checked in at 11 am. I never used to eat breakfast in those days.
Started drinking on our way to the hotel (I rarely drink) cheap beer. Around dinner time, broke and hungry, we realized we forgot to budget for food, so we drank some more beer to keep the hunger at bay.
Drunk, someone hands me a bottle of Bacardi 151, so I decide that since I can’t feel my tongue or taste anymore, I would chug-a-lug the 151. I vaguely remember 151 streaming down the sides of my face, bottle upside down in my mouth. Last thing I remember was going to hug someone who arrived, throwing my arms apart, blacking out then stars. Apparently, I passed out and hit my head on the floor. Friends carried me to the bed, where I laid passed out.
Awoke on the COUCH. Apparently, I got up off the bed, puked out the window with a friend, had conversations with people, and downed more 151 (I don’t remember any of it). People all over the hotel room passed out, some I didn’t even know. Awoke with the worst head pain of my life, and a burned, smooth tongue. The second I turned my head, I puked. Tried to sit up–>Puked. Someone brought me water and I took a sip–>Puked. Someone else arrives with sandwiches and holds a Tuna sandwich to my face, smelling the Tuna–>Puked. Tried to sit up->Puked. To this day, the smell of Bacardi makes me sick.
Was given photos later that week. Me in my mini tank dress passed out on the bed. Me in my mini tank dress passed out on the bed with underwear showing. Me passed out with party guests sitting on the bed with me making shaka signs. Me passed out with beer bottles in my hands… Etc…
Speaking of riding on the hood of cars…
One of my friends passed out one night after drinking so we tied him to the hood and drove about 40 mph down a dirt country road. Bad part is the son of a bitch never woke up.
My father and his friends (when they were around 15 years old) broke into a funeral home to smoke weed with their recently dead friend. Pops said he felt like the guy needed just one more joint. He was probably trippin on acid at the time so that might explain it.
There could be a genetic link here?
Damn, there’s so many more. If I die right now I can honestly say that I lived.
here’s one: dropping two hits of acid in Six Flags Magic Mountain.
when it hit, my friends and i were waiting in line to ride The Viper, and people started to resemble animals in the zoo! i mean, the fat people started becoming elephants, i remember this guy with a long neck looked like a girrafe and it seemed like wwith all the screaming, we were waiting in line to get slaughtered!
its a good thing none of us freaked out. we couldnt even look at each other. thank god for sunglasses!
high school daze man.
Craziest night I don’t remember:
Waking up next to a strange girl who was quite ugly (hey, at least she wasn’t a dude, right?) with a huge fuckin knot in the middle of my forehead. Apparently I had fought and attempted to fuck while being blacked out.
At this point, the thought of drinking started to get a little scary so I stopped for 3 days.
Call me what you want here (even though I am NOT passing judgment at all) but I’d like to see more SOBER acts of idiocy/craziness. Being drunk or drugged up is one way to let loose but it’s the things you do SOBER that rate up there in my book. I don’t want to hear any drunk driving stories either… they just piss me off.
Alright, I hear demands for sober stupidity so here goes.
Senior year of high school, my buddies build a real life cannon (We live out in the middle of nowhere, so this isn’t a big deal). This bastard’s 3 feet long and made with 1/4 inch steel. While building this monstrosity, my buddies found the perfect projectile, a 25 lb. metal slug that fit into the barrel perfectly. Anyhoo, after lauching several tennis balls into orbit, we decide to send off the perfect projectile. We loaded the cannon about halfway with gunpower and threw in the slug. Me and one other of my friends decided to hide behind some large, heavy trees 40 feet away. The rest of my friends stood 3 feet away from the cannon. They lit the fuse.
Next thing I know my ears are screaming at me, even though I covered them with my hands. As the loudest sound I’ve ever experienced envelops me, I notice something that looks suspiciously like scrap metal go flying past my tree.
The slug got lodged in the barrel, and the cannon exploded. There was a 3 foot crater in the ground where the cannon once was. Amazingly, none of my friends were injured. However, all the shrubbery around them was shredded. The cannon closely resembled a flower (remember this is quarter inch steel). We never found the slug.
Back in '99, my friends and I went camping in the Pocono mountains of PA. The Blair Witch Project was all the rage at the time and my friend’s father knew the director. Somehow, he got us a VHS copy of the movie while it was still in theaters.
So we decided: let’s watch it out in the woods. We got a gas generator to run the TV/VCR and set up some tents. The goal was to see who was all man and could sleep through the night.
All ten of us stayed awake past dawn.
I know it’s not the craziezst thing in the world but it was pretty creative and fun,in hindsight anyway.
[quote]TriGWU wrote:
Actually I you’re right.
The sunglasses and thicker calves give it away.
BTW. Have you see the f-in vericose vein on his left calf! Google it.[/quote]
Didn’t see it, what does it look like?
When I went to Iraq right before OIF2, the Muqtadad Militia (Al Sadr’s army) started kicking the crap out of the units that were leaving and testing those of us who were just arriving. We went out on our first patrol for intel gathering and got ambushed with mortars, IED’s and small arms. Well, we went through and shot a couple of them. Then, and I’m sure this freaked them out, we turned around and went back through the kill zone!! Not all that intelligent. We all survived and shot some more insurgents on the way through. That was some intense stuff and ranks #1, I think, as the all time craziest shit I’ve ever done.
ok war stories have got to be the craziest shit! hard to beat that…
but here is one of mine, early 90,s i used to live on Maui, Hana side, Kipahulu. Small ranches in the country side. There is a famous tourist spot there called The Seven Sacred Pools, fresh water running into the ocean.
well, there is this bridge that crosses one of the first pools up, guesstimating, 80ft. when the buses pull up, and tourists start walking down, my sis and i or our friends, would give a big yell and jump up and off the bridge, swim to the next waterfall, climb on the rock, dive into the next pool, it was maybe a 50ft drop, swim to the last pool and flip off the last rock.
By the time we swam to the end, we were being cheered on! Also being asked to repeat it since the video cams werent out yet, usually to the tune of a couple of bucks! made some good pocket money for a few summers…
the only thing i regret is never thinking it would end one day and not even taking a picture or having it video taped…