[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:
Costco’s good, but the other customers will only lower your opinion of humanity.[/quote]
I work at Costco and Christ,You are so right. If your looking to buy things in bulk and have the money,go for it. However,dont go in there and expecting to buy only 4-5 yogurts. Either your walking out with a case of 12 or your walking out with nothing in hand.
[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:
Costco’s good, but the other customers will only lower your opinion of humanity.[/quote]
LOL, this is so true its almost impossible.
On this and other message boards I had heard about the “scooter fatties” that could be sighted at places like Walmart. I thought the phenomenon was exaggerated or embellished. My first visit to CostCo verified to me that this creature DOES exist, in far greater numbers than I ever could have imagined.
One “woman” sticks out in my head. I put quotes around the word woman because after a certain level of obesity gender can be hard to discern…the Adam’s apple is buried under 17 chins, male and female boobs look the same, and the crotch is essentially a hefty bag of lard. I figure it was a woman though because it made a futile attempt at dolling itself up. Anyway, one could only feel pity at the sight of the poor scooter it was puttering around on. The structural limitations of it were being pushed to the absolute limit. It was proceeding at about 6 inches a second, and you could tell that the fatty piloting it had the “pedal to the metal”. It was making a “grief-stricken machine” sound, for lack of a better description. Ever go to a Chuckie Cheese or McDonald’s Playland as an older, heavier kid and purposely try to fuck up their rides…pushing against the Merry-Go-Round and so forth? It was making THAT sound.
Adding to the horror of the situation was the physical location of the fatty. For those who haven’t been to a CostCo, there is usually an aisle full of HUGE boxes of chocolate bars, smarties and so forth. Often convenience store owners get their stock from places like this. The scooter fatty was puttering through this aisle, greedily eyeballing the various poly-unsaturated offerings. She…“it” finally decided on a case of Skor bars that was on a higher shelf. This posed a problem in that, to physically retrieve the bars, the scooter fatty would either have to a.) stand up from its scooter (a scientific impossibility) or b.) summon the help of a store clerk. It decided on a third option, in which a Herculean effort was exerted to lift its gooey arm to the level of the chocolate bars and knock them into the front cart of the scooter through a kind of batting, swatting motion. It took about 4 well-placed swats to send the enormous box of treats plummeting into the cart. The box landed on a corner, and I would estimate that 3-5 bars were likely smashed. (I’m sure the fatty would either inhale the damaged shards, or use them as a topping for another equally decadent treat. The fatty law of conservation indicates that delicious matter cannot be destroyed, only transferred). The scooter fatty continued down the aisle, and finally out of view.
HORRIFYING.
I like Costco more than Sam’s. I think that Costco has better quality in what they sell than Sam’s. I think membership is a bit more expensive but it’s worth it.
[quote]PimpBot5000 wrote:
It decided on a third option, in which a Herculean effort was exerted to lift its gooey arm to the level of the chocolate bars and knock them into the front cart of the scooter through a kind of batting, swatting motion. It took about 4 well-placed swats to send the enormous box of treats plummeting into the cart.
[/quote]
I l’edol.