Wideguy. . .no disagreement there. . .I’m just saying you can donkeypunch either sex. Just playing about some of the gay shit. . .I know the blowjob is an act that is practiced heterosexually too.
I was about to disagree and say you could donkeypunch someone during a BJ as well as during buttsex, but actually that’s called a “monkeypunch.”
Malcolmzilla: “high temperature defecation”? Is there any other kind?
Simple solution… After she “gets hers” and you have had enough fun, pull the condom off and and her finish you off orally. Nothing like a great facial to end things on a most satisfactory note! If she won’t go on the pill and won’t at least finish you off, consider dumping her unless you are already too emotionally invested.
LOL this has got to be one of the best threads. 
So my brother tells me this story about one of his welding pals working pipelining up north in winter.
January, -30 and freaking cold! So everyone is in long undies, Cahardts, and insulated coveralls.
Anyhow, end of shift, they’re all in the crewcab headed back to camp, except one guy can’t hold it the whole 2 hours, he’s gotta shit, real bad.
So, having some sympathy, they stop the truck and let him out to “do his business”… He hops out into the bush, does his deed, then hops back into the truck.
No less than 2 minutes later, everyone else in the truck is asking him: “WTF is that smell, geez, did you step in it?”
Checking his boots: “Nope!”
“Well, did it get stuck in the trap door?” (some overalls have a trap door out back like long undies…)
Starting to really worry, checks it out: “Nope”
So, after like another 5 minutes of stink, he remembers that he didn’t pop the “trap door”, he pulled the overalls right down to his knees… and had shit in his coverall’s hood unnoticed!
Hahahahaha