What the heck’s a houdini? and a donkey punch? rusty trombone? Phantom, angry pirate? wth? pm me.
As a woman, I was certainly NOT offended by what has been written here. In fact, I laughed my ass off!
Why don’t you try having her use a contraceptive gel or something similar to that. I mean, there ARE other options than the condom. Or she could go down on you before the “act”. That may help. But what do I know. I’m the female! Oh and btw, the reach around…that’s a great one! But I have many other suggestions for any men out there that need to know how to REALLY please a woman!
Does she have a cute best friend that IS on the pill that might be willing to help out?
Explain to your gf that it’s just mindless, emotionless sex, and that you still do love her…
The description of the Houdini is a bit graphic, so PM me if you want to hear it.
Depo-provera. When it works, it`s heaven on earth.
Think of Woopy Goldberg when youre about to come...thats what pornstars do eheheh. ;0)
Well it doesn’t seem to offend anyone so here it goes.
Rusty trombone- partner lick your brown eye while stoking your schlong.
Angry pirate-pretty sure that’s just a load in the eye.
The others I don’t really want to describe as I believe they involve violence towards women (donkey punch definitely does). So you’ll have to ask some other pervert. While your at it ask about the jelly donut and the bucking bronco 
Just think of Nicole Bass and you’ll never bust a nut.
Ever hear of the Oreo cookie? I think it was more of a regional endeavor when it was popular.
A friend of mine hosted a party a few months ago and this guy that he didn’t know very well came by with his gf and screwed her on his bed. When he went in the room later on, he found a loaf on the bed. Quite an introduction to the Cleveland Steamer phenomenom. He made the guy buy him a new bed.
JRC, just get a girlfriend that turns you on.
I assume you’re not talking about bread. That’s not normal what girl shits after getting banged? On the other hand I know a group of guys who I went to highschool with and they used to do what they’d call a phantom crapping. Ex. shit in the library and put it in between some books. Not normal. BTW here’s one one of buddies likes to do when he’s at someones house he doesn’t like. Take the lid off the back of their toilet and drop a duece in there-upperdecker.
wide, only if the bread you’re thinking of is brown and has steam rising from it.
FYI, www.urbandictionary.com can help for definitions by the way.
I don’t think of donkeypunching as involving violence against women SPECIFICALLY. . .where I’m from when we talk about donkeypunching it’s assumed you’re talking about doing it to a guy unless otherwise specified. You know, just like how I assumed the reach-around was an exclusively homosexual act, as well as this weird-sounding sex thing they call the “blow job.” Where they come up with the funky names for these things, I have no idea.
The bucking bronco image goes rather well with the definition. Angry pirate too. But theres so much definitions Ill take them as they come. The names are all rather graphic too eeheh.
Hey scholar, I’m from Jersey too and unless your dick is up some guys arsehole (which mine never has been/will be) you couldn’t donkeypuch him.
I guess nobody cares to know what an Oreo cookie is. Well, your loss. It’s at the top of my repetoire.
from UrbanDictionary.com:
Steamer
While taking a foul, high temp, defecation, a girl partakes in an act known as the blow job.
“Not many bitches could take the steamer as well as she did.”
OK, so what’s an oreo? No definition listed…
Malcolmzilla, an Oreo was used extensively throughout the late 1960s and into the mid 70’s, losing it’s lustre as the 1980s approached. Perhaps it was overused. Perhaps it was considered plain disgusting by anybody outside of isolated farming communities.
The Oreo cookie? If you’re lucky enough to encounter two willing ladies, you have one give you a BJ while the other is behind you licking your arsehole. That’s why they call it the Oreo cookie. Really, though, the chocolate is on the inside, if you’e following me, so in reality, it’s an inside out Oreo cookie, if you want to be technical. Myself, if I’m lucky enough to be bedding two women, you can bet your grits I’m going to find something better for them to do than this.
Anyone here care to describe the Milwaukee steamboat? I believe it’s different than the Cleveland Steamer. Anyone?