Hey guys, I’m coming here and posting my story since other places have not been very helpful. I realize I was reckless, and thought I could manage all these hormones because some youtube biohackers do it (mainly MPMD/ leo longevity). These guys take every drugs under the sun and promote a lot of drugs without mentioning the real risks. Anyways, my story is below, and I thank you for reading through and posting any thoughts or ideas as to what may have occurred, and what is occurring now. This will go through in chronological order of events.
Mid March (2021) begin trt 200mg/week split in 2 doses initially, erection quality worsened by late March, 100% pre TRT erections went to 80%, but penis still functioned normally, just felt less inflated. Now I didn’t panic because naturally we all think ‘well its just E2 must be high’. If I knew what would happen in the months ahead, I would have stopped right here.
Used HCG late March when balls started to shrink, erections go from 80% to 85%. Used protocol of 250iu eod to start. I found days of no hcg softer erections than the day I used hcg, especially a few hours after. This was a ‘restoring libido to favorable ranges’ protocol by Vigorous steve. Because of the initial improvements in EQ from hcg, i continued the cycle and didnt think much of the softer erections.
April 10 start Ru58841 50mg/day on scalp. No issues, still 85% erections. MPMD pushing ru as a good hairloss prevention drug. I thought why not, and got from the source he pushes (anigenic). I didn’t notice any issues with erections changing at all. Maybe this played a part slowly over time or maybe it had no effect, but its hard to tell at this point.
May 4 donate blood 450ml. I was feeling sluggish, and had a nose bleed in my sleep that was thick as hell. When i bleed its usually not close to that thick. The donation center said my hemoglobin is 16.9, so hematocrit would be close to 51-, maybe higher if I was dehydrated? Immediately after blood gone, I felt less sluggish and more light. Erections still about 80-85%.
May 16, I decide to use 1mg topical dut since MPMD has a video about the molecular weight of dutasteride being over 500 daltons, meaning it wouldn’t go systemic in a topical application… Boy was this a huge mistake on my part to listen to these guys just because they think they are smart. May 24 use 1mg topical dut for the final time. Following day felt itchy nipples, gyno symptoms, took first aromasin dose 12.5mg as a precaution, next day had a lump form overnight at breast area. Stopped the topical dut after 2 weeks and stopped the ai use after that one preventative dose from the gyno flare up. A few days in during week 2 after 2nd dose of Dut and ai dose, erections were at 0%. I had orgasmed while fully soft. I believe due to the dut…
June 1 - June 16 erection quality recovered back to 70/80%. I used Leo, Steve protocol for hcg heavy use… 2kiu eod for a couple weeks. Saw some return to life in my penis. I had sex afew times with girls here, but penis went soft often inside of them even with 20mg cialis.
June 17 woke up with burning urethra towards the base of the spongeosum during urination. Suspected Std, booked appointment for June 24 with Dr. The burning urine feeling was only once per day in the morning, and was not as bad if I drank a lot of water prior to bed.
June 30 tests come negative, July 10 more negative tests, urinalysis shows everything normal, no culture growth in urine. Experimented with pt141 to get erections better, but still 80% and no random erections /hit or miss morning wood. Noticing I can only get hard with stimulation and weaker erections while standing.
July 15+, burning urethra now also paired with itchy urethra for rest of the day. this persisted into august.
July 27 stop enanthate pins because I am planning to come off everything to PCT and just get my dick back to functioning. No mental panic has set in yet, as I still think this is an E2 issue and I just am not dialed in correctly. I also stop RU and minoxidil around this time as I’m getting tired of daily application of hair topicals.
August 2 start propionate 20mg/day. I do this to bridge the gap while I wait for enanthate to clear. My erections actually 2 hours after pinning prop went to 100%… I had the strongest boners in months, and it lasted 4 days then disappeared entirely…
August 24, took prostate digital exam, Dr thinks it’s normal. PSA levels low. Blood work shows e2 at 59pg/ml. Took AI aromasin 12.5mg eod for 10 days. By end of 10 days, erections disappeared. Weak morning woods. It’s like my penis trying to get hard but cannot.also notice long and skinny penis, girth has been lost by e2 crashing or Dut fibrosis…, is a side effect I read on e2 handbook steroid subreddit.
Late August to early September, take 2kiu hcg eod again after the AI probably nuked my e2. Didn’t have the recovery relief like I did after dut use. Penis is weak as fuck, morning woods are pathetic… i can feel its trying to innervate down there but isnt getting stiff at all.
September 1, quit trt and bridge remaining days to pct with hcg because I am tired of poor erections, and burning urethra feeling. Have blood tests, free T middle of range, e2 sensitive was 19pg/ml. Prolactin 13ug/L. My erections issues are not e2 related at all. This is more complex. Even behaviour of the penis is very off. The prostatitis symptoms continue (itchy urethra, very intense)
Mid September, have intense burning pain in penis, perinium, and scrotal ceiling when pressing, and difficulty urinating. Feeling of aching penis constantly, like it had been stretched inside. Feeling of having to urinate, but unable to… Sitting on toilet for 5-10 minutes and eventually drops of pee come out and relief comes briefly, then feeling returns. Warm baths help to pee out. Start pct September 20. 40/40/20/20/10 nolva 25/25/25/25/12.5 enclomiphene
October 7 Dr gives doxycycline for 2 weeks, theorizing prostatitis. By week 1 end, most pain gone. By 2nd week all symptoms of penile pain and perinium, urinary issues gone. Only 1 urine issue is weak stream, to this day still weak stream sometimes. I also am unable to tell if my bladder is 20% full or 80% full, as it feels the exact same. Only at 90%+ fullness I know that I have to pee, as my bladder has a sharp pressure feeling like I have to release… this isn’t how my bladder used to feel when I was ready to piss.
After the antibiotics course, I Developed hard flaccid syndrome around this time, but morning woods are sometimes 80% or 90%, or 40%, random and can’t predict what’s going on with them. Sometimes wake up at 4am with stiff penis, sometimes bendy. Penis can fill with blood but is soft and long flaccid a lot of the times and just rests on my thigh. Neurogenic /psychogenic erections are very strange, they get to long flaccid state then stuck there, need stimulation to get harder. I notice erections go away when standing unless I’m already as hard as I can from stimulation lying down. I never get hard walking or moving around like I did before starting trt. I go soft fast when I get distracted, and don’t feel arousal as much
Penis feels disconnected from my brain. Lifeless. I cannot tell when I have a erection like before. It feels weak, I used to have throbbing hard erections and pulsing feelings but it’s entirely gone.Penis constantly feels tense and hard like a flexed bicep when flaccid or long flaccid, but no rigidity. This is in hard small flaccid mode also during long flaccid it feels tight and weak. Like a floppy worm that can’t get harder. After ejaculation, the penis goes from 70-90% hard to long flaccid mode, where it stays like that for a very long period of time like 5+ minutes. Detumescence feels very strange, long flaccid. I theorized my issue is fake testosterone was maybe Decca, and hence Decca dick but no ability to hplc test for the compounds in the vials I was using. If deca, then some guys had ed for 6+ years after stopping using Decca as I have read from this forum from @lufc12 and @ztanzanite and @lordgains posts. I had a ultrasound for pelvic region and urinary tract recently, and hope to have results soon from my uro.
AT this point, i feel small improvements then waves back to square 1… so it’s hard to gauge what is going on. I still don’t know what caused the prostatitis symptoms for me… why did i have a loss of erection quality immediately after starting TRT, last time I used Test was 500/week 10 years ago and I got erections constantly from it… note I was 19 then, and 30 now. I know the TRT initially did something to me to lose EQ, then everything else after was just like extra bombs on my dick. Dut/ RU/ AI etc. I thought I was managing symptoms with ancillaries, but It was reckless of me.
Curious why the prostatitis related pain and inflammation disappeared after doxycycline, was it bacterial infection causing the pain? It’s been 4 weeks since the last dose and pain didn’t return. Is it different than what’s causing the ED or maybe it’s compounding the ED problem? All I have left are the hard flaccid and long flaccid symptoms which I described earlier.
My blood work is very good except poor egfr /creatinine (at 114 creatinine and 73 egfr) ferritin very low, below referent e range. Lh and fsh at 0. I’m finished Pct drugs now, and penis have no more pain which is good, but stuck with hard flaccids and long flaccids and hit or miss erection quality, and disconnect feeling from penis. My T is 1100ng/dl , so i guess some PCT drugs are still acting on my brain.
I fear I have post dutasteride syndrome, or if not, then my test was decca or something and just picks up as test when I got bloods… because here we dont do sensitive test, just CLIA testing… so decca will be interpreted as Test i think. Anyways, I dont know whats going on with me… i just hope some people can point me in a direction as I am considering a penile implant soon if this doesn’t improve in 6 months to a year. MY life has been very destroyed over this, as I was a highly sexual person and now with this problem I don’t feel like myself anymore. I feel like a 80 year old man ready for death. I want to come out of this shit and be normal. The story of Ztanzanite 6 years healing from decca dick put real fear in my head and I’m worried my test was decca… or dutastierde will cause the same for me.
Tests I have planned are - PENILE DOPPLER with inject to check for arterial insufficiency or venos leaks… MRI standing with and without contrast with focus at the pudendal nerve and dorsal branch of the penis. The theory here is that hard flaccid is caused by pudendal nerve compression. You see maybe when I started TRT my pelvic floor tightened up and started to give ED, and months down the road it led to the lower urinary tract symptoms and prostatitis symptoms. Other tests would be a MRI of the penis to cehck for fibrosis caused by DUT or RU, as that would explain why it feels like my penis doesnt inflate very well with blood anymore, and blood gets stuck in there. Other tests, pharmacoangiogram to cehck arteries, venogram to check veins, MRI of lumbar/sacral plexus to see innervation of the nerves that control pelvic functions… SPINAL TAP to check for neurosteroids, as this problem seems to be very neorlogical , because of the mental symptoms and lack of arousal etc. These are the main tests I can think of for now, as well as MRN but this is a rare one and only in USA.
Thank you for your time and let me know what you think is going on. I know it is a long post, but I am desperate for some help.