Christmas Only for the Religious?

[pookie]

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Didn’t you just judge me?[/quote]

Yeah, but I’m not the one claiming a lifelong devotion to a big book of rules that specifically instructs me not to judge. When I do it, it doesn’t make me a hypocrite. Get it?

You repeatedly post about how people demean and degrade religion. Hasn’t it occurred to you that they’re simply following the logical conclusion from the way you express your religious views? After, if it means nothing to you - nothing that can be seen in your words or attitude - why in Hell should they have any respect for it? Should those who think it’s a sham show more respect towards it than you, a self-avowed “believer” do?

So instead of bitching and moaning about people who celebrate Christmas without religion, you should try to act and speak as if it actually meant something to you. Or is calling yourself a Christian nothing more than just a useful social label?

[Professor_X]

[quote]pookie wrote:
Professor X wrote:
Didn’t you just judge me?

Yeah, but I’m not the one claiming a lifelong devotion to a big book of rules that specifically instructs me not to judge. When I do it, it doesn’t make me a hypocrite. Get it?

You repeatedly post about how people demean and degrade religion. Hasn’t it occurred to you that they’re simply following the logical conclusion from the way you express your religious views? After, if it means nothing to you - nothing that can be seen in your words or attitude - why in Hell should they have any respect for it? Should those who think it’s a sham show more respect towards it than you, a self-avowed “believer” do?

So instead of bitching and moaning about people who celebrate Christmas without religion, you should try to act and speak as if it actually meant something to you. Or is calling yourself a Christian nothing more than just a useful social label?
[/quote]

Interesting. You sure are taking offense far beyond what is rational. Were you raped by a Catholic priest as a child?

Someone started this thread and asked a question. It is pretty stupid that you protest the debate that follows as soon as it questions the actions of an atheist. You then think it makes sense to tell me that is wrong while you do the same in reverse.

Don’t worry…there is help for rape victims.

[pookie]

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Interesting. You sure are taking offense far beyond what is rational. Were you raped by a Catholic priest as a child?[/quote]

There is a difference between taking offense and simply pointing out stupidity and double-standards.

Everyone knew you’d be unable to answer the actual question and try to change the subject.

It’s a pretty lame attempt, even from you. How’bout you? Did your dad do you, or was his Christian Mindfuck the only lasting damage?

Someone started this thread and asked a question. It is pretty stupid that you protest the debate that follows as soon as it questions the actions of an atheist. You then think it makes sense to tell me that is wrong while you do the same in reverse.

Really? Did I tell you not to celebrate Christmas? But yes, I wonder why you even bother thinking about the actions of atheists. It’s got no relevance on your life; why not simply be happy for people who have an occasion to celebrate with friends and family? Wouldn’t that show more of that “Christmas Spirit” you can’t seem to find?

If you really want to ponder something, why not ask why Christians are mostly indistinguishable from non-believers in words and actions; except when it comes to manufacturing artificial reasons to get offended?

You only feel the need to point out your beliefs when you get to bash people over the head for doing something you don’t agree with. Even for the most trivial reasons, such as people getting together for a good time over a holiday, you’re suddenly a devout believer and follower of Jesus… as long as you get to condemn them for having the gall of putting up a Christmas tree. The irony of criticizing people for celebrating Christmas in a “pagan” way, when the celebration was pagan to begin with and was integrated by the church because it couldn’t compete otherwise is, of course, lost on you.

Who cares really about all that. The only real reason you’re here is because you saw an excuse to bad mouth atheists and other non-believers. Did you think you were being subtle? Any less subtle and you’d be Steveo.

Don’t worry…there is help for rape victims.

For incest too. Bring the family member along.

[Professor_X]

[quote]pookie wrote:
Really? Did I tell you not to celebrate Christmas? But yes, I wonder why you even bother thinking about the actions of atheists. It’s got no relevance on your life; why not simply be happy for people who have an occasion to celebrate with friends and family? Wouldn’t that show more of that “Christmas Spirit” you can’t seem to find?[/quote]

I’m sorry, but did you miss that A THREAD WAS STARTED AND A QUESTION ASKED ON THIS VERY TOPIC? What, you wanted me to avoid the topic to make you feel better? If someone is going to ask, I will give my opinion. This is apparently too much for you. Frankly, too bad.

Who cares really about all that. The only real reason you’re here is because you saw an excuse to bad mouth atheists and other non-believers. Did you think you were being subtle? Any less subtle and you’d be Steveo.

So, you actually think that your last few posts here don’t come across as lame attempts to “bad mouth” Christians? Do tell.

[CappedAndPlanIt]

[quote]B.b. in stress! wrote:
should christmas only be celebrated by religious people, knowing that it is when jesus christ was born, or is it a holiday for everyone?

it was a thought that wondered in my mind prior to christmas.[/quote]

Knowing?

You’re aware that Jesus was not born on December 25th, right? That most biblical scholars believe he was born in late September?

You’re also aware that the Christmas we celebrate is simply a mislabeled Pagan holiday for Saturn? Saturnalia, I believe, was the name.

Christmas makes little to no sense as a religious holiday, it makes much more sense, at this point, to see it as a cultural event.

First off, its currently based on the lie that Jesus was born on December 25th, and has two fables tied to it: the first being the story of the baby Jesus in the manger, etc, which has no historical backing, the second being that a fat man dresses in red and flies a magic sack of presents over the world in one night.

What does bringing at tree in your house have to do with Jesus? Stringing lights? Hanging plants to kiss under?

Again, if anything, I would find it hard to justify Christmas as a religious holiday, especially exclusively a religious holiday.

[CappedAndPlanIt]

[quote]Professor X wrote:
pookie wrote:
Really? Did I tell you not to celebrate Christmas? But yes, I wonder why you even bother thinking about the actions of atheists. It’s got no relevance on your life; why not simply be happy for people who have an occasion to celebrate with friends and family? Wouldn’t that show more of that “Christmas Spirit” you can’t seem to find?

I’m sorry, but did you miss that A THREAD WAS STARTED AND A QUESTION ASKED ON THIS VERY TOPIC? What, you wanted me to avoid the topic to make you feel better? If someone is going to ask, I will give my opinion. This is apparently too much for you. Frankly, too bad.

Who cares really about all that. The only real reason you’re here is because you saw an excuse to bad mouth atheists and other non-believers. Did you think you were being subtle? Any less subtle and you’d be Steveo.

So, you actually think that your last few posts here don’t come across as lame attempts to “bad mouth” Christians? Do tell.

[/quote]

Not to jump in on his side, but… I’m going to have to jump in on his side.

In my personal experience, I’ve noticed what he says to be true: That most “Christians” follow Christ once a week on Sunday morning, if that at all. The only time their religious “beliefs” come into play is either when it benefits them somehow (praying when in need, asking forgiveness to quell guilt) or is used to reinforce their own personal bias (especially in the case of homosexuality), while being otherwise ignored.

This is not to say that Christianity in and of itself is bad, however, as Ghandi once said “I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

[Professor_X]

[quote]CappedAndPlanIt wrote:
Professor X wrote:
pookie wrote:
Really? Did I tell you not to celebrate Christmas? But yes, I wonder why you even bother thinking about the actions of atheists. It’s got no relevance on your life; why not simply be happy for people who have an occasion to celebrate with friends and family? Wouldn’t that show more of that “Christmas Spirit” you can’t seem to find?

I’m sorry, but did you miss that A THREAD WAS STARTED AND A QUESTION ASKED ON THIS VERY TOPIC? What, you wanted me to avoid the topic to make you feel better? If someone is going to ask, I will give my opinion. This is apparently too much for you. Frankly, too bad.

Who cares really about all that. The only real reason you’re here is because you saw an excuse to bad mouth atheists and other non-believers. Did you think you were being subtle? Any less subtle and you’d be Steveo.

So, you actually think that your last few posts here don’t come across as lame attempts to “bad mouth” Christians? Do tell.

Not to jump in on his side, but… I’m going to have to jump in on his side.

In my personal experience, I’ve noticed what he says to be true: That most “Christians” follow Christ once a week on Sunday morning, if that at all. The only time their religious “beliefs” come into play is either when it benefits them somehow (praying when in need, asking forgiveness to quell guilt) or is used to reinforce their own personal bias (especially in the case of homosexuality), while being otherwise ignored.

This is not to say that Christianity in and of itself is bad, however, as Ghandi once said “I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”
[/quote]

You could relate that mentality to nearly any profession or social construct, so what would be your point? How many extremely fit people do you actually see at GYMS lately? How many educated people are really going to COLLEGE? This was an epiphany for you? That human beings have faults? Wow.

[CappedAndPlanIt]

[quote]Professor X wrote:
CappedAndPlanIt wrote:
Not to jump in on his side, but… I’m going to have to jump in on his side.

In my personal experience, I’ve noticed what he says to be true: That most “Christians” follow Christ once a week on Sunday morning, if that at all. The only time their religious “beliefs” come into play is either when it benefits them somehow (praying when in need, asking forgiveness to quell guilt) or is used to reinforce their own personal bias (especially in the case of homosexuality), while being otherwise ignored.

This is not to say that Christianity in and of itself is bad, however, as Ghandi once said “I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

You could relate that mentality to nearly any profession or social construct, so what would be your point? How many extremely fit people do you actually see at GYMS lately? How many educated people are really going to COLLEGE? This was an epiphany for you? That human beings have faults? Wow.[/quote]

I dont exactly follow your line of logic… my observation is that most Christians seem to forget their religion until it benefits them to bring it up.

I dont see how that relates to healthy people going to gyms or educated people going to college. Maybe I’m just missing the obvious here, but I really dont see the parallel.

I’m aware all people have faults, I’m aware most people have hypocritical in some way, however, the discourse here was on the topic specifically of religion, more specifically Christianity.

[Professor_X]

[quote]CappedAndPlanIt wrote:
I dont exactly follow your line of logic… my observation is that most Christians seem to forget their religion until it benefits them to bring it up.
[/quote]

How could you possibly know MOST Christians? You are making some pretty huge generalizations and assumptions that you couldn’t back up in any way. Beyond that, what is so hard to follow?

If you look at any aspect of society you will find someone NOT doing their job the way it needs to be done. That implies that HUMANS have FAULTS, not that CHRISTIANS alone have faults. Was that simple enough for you?

[quote]
I dont see how that relates to healthy people going to gyms or educated people going to college. Maybe I’m just missing the obvious here, but I really dont see the parallel.[/quote]

Of course you don’t. It must be hard to understand what was meant by UNFIT people going to GYMS or UNEDUCATED people going to COLLEGE. It isn’t like I didn’t write that clearly before.

I’m aware all people have faults, I’m aware most people have hypocritical in some way, however, the discourse here was on the topic specifically of religion, more specifically Christianity.

Uh, no, the topic was on the celebration of a holiday that is considered by most today to be religious at the core by those who reject the idea of God, not on which Christians act more Christ-like…something you wouldn’t have a clue about in the slightest unless you personally knew MOST Christians.

[Petedacook]

Christmas is not just about religion and the birth of jesus. Some say the roots of christmas coincide with Yule, and winter solstice celebrations.

[huey_ot]

professor x:

I’m not sure if you’ve even realized this, but YOU are the one who changed this thread into an atheists-who-hate-all-things-spiritual vs. christians-who-force-their-persepectives-on-everyone flame war.

As pookie has already stated, the premise of this thread IS ridiculous. Any holiday is available for anyone to celebrate however they want to.

And if we were to follow the logic of what you stated earlier (you suggested that people can’t simply pick and choose what parts of religion they like and ignore those things they dislike), we’ll find many problems. For example, any person of any faith will be deemed a hypocrite by your own statement if they follow one obligation of their religion and not another. It is up to each individual to decide for him/herself how to live his/her life, and how to incoporate spirituality into their lives, if they so choose.

I am not Christian, but I will attend a Christmas party if I’m invited. Does that make me a hypcorite because I choose to partake in something Christmas-related even though I do no believe in Christian teachings?

When my family invited non-Jewish friends to a Channukah dinner, are our guests being hypocrites by attending and not adhering to Jewish teachings?

I think if you reflect upon some of the things you’ve said in this thread you’ll find that they are strange things to say.

[huey_ot]

[quote]Professor X wrote:
I personally think it makes no sense for someone to claim to be an atheist but then turn around and celebrate a holiday based in religion. It is hypocritical and implies someone wants their cake and eat it too. It leads to kids being raised not knowing what many of those symbols represent. [/quote]

The problem with this statement is that it is difficult to define what constitutes the action to ‘celebrate’. Am I a hypocrite if I go to a friend’s Christmas dinner if invited even though I’m not a Christian? Am I having my cake and eating it to when Christian friends of mine give me gifts for Christmas?

I’m not sure where you’re going with the raising kids thing, either. That seems to have come out of left-field.

I wouldn’t celebrate a jewish holiday regardless of how badly I wanted presents for several days in a row.

Ok, so what are you saying? That atheists shouldn’t have their own non-religious versions of Christmas celebrations with gift exchanges? If an atheistic family buys a Christmas tree and does a gift exchange during Christmas, does that bother you? I’m not sure what your point is.

I don’t believe that Christmas is “under attack” like O’reilly seems to believe. However, it doesn’t do anyone any good to turn this holiday into some godless tradition of spending as much money as possible on crap most people don’t need while yelling, “Happy Holidays” as if religion was never a part of it.

Who’s turning Christmas into a godless holiday? There’s no doubt that there is a huge commercialization of Christmas. But the spirituality of Christmas, or lack thereof, exists on a personal level with individuals. If certain families choose to celebrate Christmas by simply buying useless stuff and becoming slaves of commercialization, that’s their business. The same way that if some 165-pound newbie in the gym chooses to believe that the best way to get big is to avoid isolation exercises at all costs, that doesn’t affect anyone but him. Why does it bother you or anyone if a family celebrates Christmas in a superficial way? It’s no big deal. It’s their business.

I feel that if you are going to reject the idea of God, then reject all of it. Don’t jump in and out whenever it benefits you to do so and then turn around and degrade religion and those who are religious.

I’m not sure where this is coming from. Life is about freedom to choose what to do. If I like this aspect of this religion and that aspect of tha religion, why can I not do this? If I don’t like this aspect of this religions and that aspect of that religion, can I not exclude those components from the way I choose to express my spirituality?

Also, who is degrading religious people?

[Professor_X]

[quote]disciplined wrote:
professor x:

I’m not sure if you’ve even realized this, but YOU are the one who changed this thread into an atheists-who-hate-all-things-spiritual vs. christians-who-force-their-persepectives-on-everyone flame war.

As pookie has already stated, the premise of this thread IS ridiculous. Any holiday is available for anyone to celebrate however they want to.

And if we were to follow the logic of what you stated earlier (you suggested that people can’t simply pick and choose what parts of religion they like and ignore those things they dislike), we’ll find many problems. For example, any person of any faith will be deemed a hypocrite by your own statement if they follow one obligation of their religion and not another. It is up to each individual to decide for him/herself how to live his/her life, and how to incoporate spirituality into their lives, if they so choose.

I am not Christian, but I will attend a Christmas party if I’m invited. Does that make me a hypcorite because I choose to partake in something Christmas-related even though I do no believe in Christian teachings?

When my family invited non-Jewish friends to a Channukah dinner, are our guests being hypocrites by attending and not adhering to Jewish teachings?

I think if you reflect upon some of the things you’ve said in this thread you’ll find that they are strange things to say.[/quote]

There’s nothing strange about it at all. Your examples of being INVITED over for dinner during someone else’s holiday celebration makes very little sense. I could be invited over to the house of someone from India. Does that mean I am trying to incorporate their cultural customs into my own life? No one has mentioned anything about someone being invited to someone else’s house. We are talking about celebration of a holiday IN YOUR OWN HOUSE OF YOUR OWN ACCORD.

This is a free country. The discussion is NOT about whether someone CAN celebrate what they want to. The OP was discussing whether it is moral or of good value to take part in a religious celebration when you do not believe in God. That is not the same as simply walking into someone else’s house if YOU are the one who bought the tree and decorations and went through the whole routine EXCEPT for acknowledging the religious aspect of it.

Further, the discussion went into whether children should be raised without the knowledge of what that holiday represents in houses that claim to be atheist. How did you miss so many of these points?

In fact, to make this clearer for you, let’s discuss Easter since so many want to talk about how Christmas has a date based on paganism. Do you think it is morally right to ignore the basis for a holiday when children are involved but allow them to blindly take part in the mass marketing of it while never acknowledging what it truly means?

[huey_ot]

[quote]Professor X wrote:
There’s nothing strange about it at all. Your examples of being INVITED over for dinner during someone else’s holiday celebration makes very little sense. I could be invited over to the house of someone from India. Does that mean I am trying to incorporate their cultural customs into my own life? No one has mentioned anything about someone being invited to someone else’s house. We are talking about celebration of a holiday IN YOUR OWN HOUSE OF YOUR OWN ACCORD.

This is a free country. The discussion is NOT about whether someone CAN celebrate what they want to. The OP was discussing whether it is moral or of good value to take part in a religious celebration when you do not believe in God. That is not the same as simply walking into someone else’s house if YOU are the one who bought the tree and decorations and went through the whole routine EXCEPT for acknowledging the religious aspect of it.

Further, the discussion went into whether children should be raised without the knowledge of what that holiday represents in houses that claim to be atheist. How did you miss so many of these points?

In fact, to make this clearer for you, let’s discuss Easter since so many want to talk about how Christmas has a date based on paganism. Do you think it is morally right to ignore the basis for a holiday when children are involved but allow them to blindly take part in the mass marketing of it while never acknowledging what it truly means? [/quote]

I don’t see what’s immoral about a family celebrating a holiday in a way that they choose to celebrate it.

If an atheistic family wants to celebrate Christmas in the mass-marketing, godless, commercialized way with the overpirced decoration, shitty CDs for $14.99, and Butterball turkey while avoiding all things religious… why is that immoral?

I’ll agree that it’s strange, but what that family chooses to do is, well, their business. I’m also willing to bet that most people who celebrate Christmas in a non-religious way are self-professed Christians. So they identify themselves as Christians, yet religious/spiritual components make up about 5% of their celebration.

If an atheist likes certain components of a given holiday, why is that a problem? If they like the decorations, the food, the gift exchange, what is wrong with that? They’re choosing to partake in the non-religious parts of the holiday. I don’t see the problem. I don’t see hypocrisy, either. I don’t see how an atheistic person is being a hypocrite by celebrating a given holiday in a non-religious manner.

Granted, you seem to be talking about religion-hating atheists. I’m not sure why you brought them up…

[Professor_X]

[quote]disciplined wrote:

If an atheistic family wants to celebrate Christmas in the mass-marketing, godless, commercialized way with the overpirced decoration, shitty CDs for $14.99, and Butterball turkey while avoiding all things religious… why is that immoral? [/quote]

Some would argue that basing life on things that materialistic is the very definition of “immoral”.

Granted, you seem to be talking about religion-hating atheists. I’m not sure why you brought them up…

Perhaps because while you seem to be new here, the discussion of religion along with the massive influx of those who seem to despise it is not.

[huey_ot]

[quote]Professor X wrote:

Some would argue that basing life on things that materialistic is the very definition of “immoral”.

[/quote]

Well, I’m just talking about a holiday that comes once a year, not an entire lifetime.

Personally, I don’t think it’s immoral or wrong for a secular family to celebrate Christmas in a non-religious way.

[pookie]

[quote]Professor X wrote:
You could relate that mentality to nearly any profession or social construct, so what would be your point? How many extremely fit people do you actually see at GYMS lately? How many educated people are really going to COLLEGE? This was an epiphany for you? That human beings have faults? Wow.[/quote]

That’s a very crappy analogy. Students at the college will eventually learn and graduate. Those that don’t eventually grow bored or find other interests and drop out.

Similarly, at gyms, most fatties who don’t progress grow bored with the whole thing and stay home. Those that do progress and actually improve themselves tend to stick with it for life.

Christians, on the other hand, mostly stay the same year in, year out. Very little appear to make any progress. Worse, even less actually look as if spiritual progress has any importance to them. You’d think that eventually, they’d decide they aren’t worthy and drop out, no?

What’s even worse is that the stakes are infinitely higher. We’re not talking about a college degree or a size 2 dress here, it’s the fate of their eternal soul that’s a stake. Seems to me that should warrant a little motivation. How is it then that you can’t tell a Christian from a secular, non-religious person unless you ask them? Both tend to be law-abiding citizens who function well in society and care for their families and friends. But that’s not particularly difficult to do.

When it comes to acting in accordance with their beliefs, most Christians fall way short and seem to care not a wit. When it comes time to lord their morality and spirituality over others, well, THEN you get massive participation and high motivation. You see very little giving going on; very little caring for the poor or the sick or whatever other problems might be afflicting someone. You do see a lot of judging and condemning, though. There’s never any shortages there.

You then wonder why so many people call your beliefs a sham and ridicule them? Easy: That’s because that’s what you yourself show them to be - a sham worthy of ridicule - through your actions.

[pookie]

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Uh, no, the topic was on the celebration of a holiday that is considered by most today to be religious[/quote]

More crap. It’s considered by most to be religious because, well, most ARE religious. At least in words.

Those that don’t consider it religious simply celebrate it in whatever secular way they see fit.

People, be they religious or not, like to celebrate and they like having holidays. Claiming that part of the population should skip the celebrations because they don’t see them like you do is, frankly, bigoted and stupid.

[pookie]

[quote]Professor X wrote:
The OP was discussing whether it is moral or of good value to take part in a religious celebration when you do not believe in God.[/quote]

Obviously, someone who doesn’t believe in god isn’t having a religious celebration. Just celebrating with friends and family.

That is not the same as simply walking into someone else’s house if YOU are the one who bought the tree and decorations and went through the whole routine EXCEPT for acknowledging the religious aspect of it.

What’s religious about a Christmas tree? It’s old pagan symbolism that was “acquired” along the way.

In fact, it’s probably the true Christians who should eschew the materialistic aspect of Christmas. A nativity scene, in itself, should represent everything the celebration is to a Christian. The tree, the mistletoe, the wreaths, Santa Claus… none of that has any religious meaning.

Further, the discussion went into whether children should be raised without the knowledge of what that holiday represents in houses that claim to be atheist. How did you miss so many of these points?

Invariably, when someone has no point, he’ll eventually resort to: do it for the children.

Of course, we keep our children locked in the house, away from books, libraries and the internet. Non-Existing Entity forbid they read stuff on their own.

Oh, wait. Isn’t that what those evangelical “home schooling” movements are doing?

In fact, to make this clearer for you, let’s discuss Easter since so many want to talk about how Christmas has a date based on paganism. Do you think it is morally right to ignore the basis for a holiday when children are involved but allow them to blindly take part in the mass marketing of it while never acknowledging what it truly means?

I don’t celebrate Easter. All our Christian relatives like giving our kids chocolate bunnies, though. About half of those end up in the trash during the following weeks. We often have a sunday dinner with family and that’s it. Nothing particularly special about it.

I do enjoy the three day weekend, though.

[Professor_X]

[quote]pookie wrote:
Professor X wrote:
You could relate that mentality to nearly any profession or social construct, so what would be your point? How many extremely fit people do you actually see at GYMS lately? How many educated people are really going to COLLEGE? This was an epiphany for you? That human beings have faults? Wow.

That’s a very crappy analogy. Students at the college will eventually learn and graduate. Those that don’t eventually grow bored or find other interests and drop out.

Similarly, at gyms, most fatties who don’t progress grow bored with the whole thing and stay home. Those that do progress and actually improve themselves tend to stick with it for life.

Christians, on the other hand, mostly stay the same year in, year out. Very little appear to make any progress. Worse, even less actually look as if spiritual progress has any importance to them. You’d think that eventually, they’d decide they aren’t worthy and drop out, no?

What’s even worse is that the stakes are infinitely higher. We’re not talking about a college degree or a size 2 dress here, it’s the fate of their eternal soul that’s a stake. Seems to me that should warrant a little motivation. How is it then that you can’t tell a Christian from a secular, non-religious person unless you ask them? Both tend to be law-abiding citizens who function well in society and care for their families and friends. But that’s not particularly difficult to do.

When it comes to acting in accordance with their beliefs, most Christians fall way short and seem to care not a wit. When it comes time to lord their morality and spirituality over others, well, THEN you get massive participation and high motivation. You see very little giving going on; very little caring for the poor or the sick or whatever other problems might be afflicting someone. You do see a lot of judging and condemning, though. There’s never any shortages there.

You then wonder why so many people call your beliefs a sham and ridicule them? Easy: That’s because that’s what you yourself show them to be - a sham worthy of ridicule - through your actions.
[/quote]

…and what do your actions say about you?