[quote]AngryVader wrote:
Oh Mak, you make me laugh too.
About the sticking it in his pooper thing. In the context of this thread, that would give a whole different take on the scared straight thing, wouldn’t it?[/quote]
Oh I see…
LMAO!
[quote]dirtbag wrote:
Nich wrote:
dont call the police on him
most likly they wont do anything anyways.
if you live in the same home then they may say its a civil issue and you need to sue him.
he needs to be confronted.
stop trusting him,and ship his ass off to be helped.
the guy is sick and thats the bottom line.
hes not a criminal,the actions are because of the drugs and not of his own.
help him get away from the drugs.
By your logic if his dealers said kill some 1st graders then he should not be held accountable for his actions. I suggest that you STFU and speak about something that you have first hand knowledge about.
.[/quote]
I had a long ass post written out but I will only say this because frankly its non of your bussiness untill I choose to make it so.
we all have demons in our closet.
and some of us are those demons that are in everybody elses closet.
you can take my advice or ignore it whatever
but do not question my experiance.
I mean I agree with your first post.
and I do agree with you for the most part here.
the only thing that has me pissed is that you jumped and assumed that I have no knowledge about this problem.
the reason why I know is because if my blood cared about me,and showed me more love than the homies in the gang did than I would not have turned out to be a criminal,or a 30 year old ex con with no work history or skills and a high school drop out. why the hell you think I own an auto shop now,because I love working on busted accents,and Case skip loaders? come on now.
I see no difference in our posts
you said stomp the dude cause he thinks your a chump.how is that not confronting him.
do you also dissagree that he needs help?
or just ship him to prison get him a record and then after hes a felon and cant get a decent job later allow him to live with you.
what would you suggest.
[quote]Rocky101 wrote:
Put his ass in rehab. A drug addict can recover, but they can’t get anywhere in life with a drug conviction on their record. The ‘War on Drugs’ only benefits criminals(black market sales, cartels, gangs etc) and the criminal justice system that uses drug offenders as slave labor to the private corps that run some prisons.
[/quote]
Ding, ding, ding, ding, send him straight to rehab and avoid the cops.
Your brother has a heroin probelem, is messing with your 60 year old father and you are worried about your money???
You fail at comprehension, he clearly stated that harm to his father is a concern.
+1 to the posts encouraging some form of intervention
Your parents are at fault for having a passive, complacent attitude toward your brother’s behavior. If they allow him to live in their house or support him in any way under these circumstances, then they are enablers, plain and simple. They need to kick him out or ban him from the house. Short of that, any attempt on your part to intervene will be utterly futile. Rather than trying to change the situation, which I promise is totally impossible , you should instead move out and get away from your corrupt family. I am speaking from experience.
[quote]redsox348984 wrote:
Ok well my brother has a serious drug problem. He has a heroin and cocaine problem. And over the last year or so the asshole has been stealing from my familly. I’ve occasionally had money missing from my room. He stole jewelery from my mother multiple times. He even sold the tv in his room for money. But my parents are idiots and do not do shit to help the problem.
Also when my dad yells at him over stuff he trys to start fights with him. My dad is almost 60 years old now and I am afraid if im not around to intervene my brother will beat him up. And then i will end out beating the shit out of my brother and getting arrested too.
I thought I had been hiding my money pretty good since then. I had 80 dollars underneath my monitor. Then today I wanted to go buy something and i see that its gone.
Like I am pretty sick of this and think i should probably call the police and explain it all to them. What will they do anyway? Opinions?[/quote]
How old is your brother and how long has he had a chemical dependency problem?
The fact that you care enough to even ask these questions is a good sign. Your brother obviously has people that do care so his odds are better than most.
My family had very similar issues with my brother so I can relate and I don’t envy the road you’ve got ahead of you. Do you think it’s possible that your brother is dealing with any sort of mental illness? That’s what the case was with my brother, he is a diagnosed schizophrenic. It’s more than common for these people to treat themselves with street drugs because the care they require just isn’t there as much as they need to be treated.
If you cannot get the law to step in, as I’m assuming will be the case, your brother really has to hit bottom and ask for help. That means if he comes to the house and he’s high, you don’t open the door. If he calls to ask for money, the answer is no, every time. Let him know that he may visit but he has to be clean and that he will be supervised while in the house because you don’t trust him. You really have to be firm and lay down the law as to what’s acceptable and what’s not. Tell him what the consequences will be should he steal from you again. If you ask him to leave the premises and he does not, that is when you may call the police. Maybe if that happens, he will get to see a medical professional that can help him. Sometimes though, drugs addicts and the mentally ill are just thrown into the (court) system and never given the help that they need.
I really do not envy your position at all and my heart is going out to you now in a very big way. Stay strong and your brother should count himself very fortunate to have someone like you in his life that cares this much. If you have any questions at all, feel free to PM me and I’ll tell you what we had to do.
All the best to you and your family.
MsM, great post. Having seen the end of this very closely myself (including the prison visits that should have been therapy visits), I think this has been the best advice so far.
But in the case I know, indeed prison (not on a drug charge) made the difference (well, the drug free wing) - helping this guy to reset the fundamentals of his life, including learning to deal with the mental health issue.
This included giving help after he got out, including providing shelter, support and a drug free environment clear of the wrong friends. Even the family bond has improved, which no one had expected. Respect to Nich - I’ve seen how hard it is.
I just wish the guys from the ‘recreational drugs’ thread would listen to this.
Makkun
[quote]redsox348984 wrote:
Ok well my brother has a serious drug problem. He has a heroin and cocaine problem. And over the last year or so the asshole has been stealing from my familly. I’ve occasionally had money missing from my room. He stole jewelery from my mother multiple times. He even sold the tv in his room for money. But my parents are idiots and do not do shit to help the problem.
Also when my dad yells at him over stuff he trys to start fights with him. My dad is almost 60 years old now and I am afraid if im not around to intervene my brother will beat him up. And then i will end out beating the shit out of my brother and getting arrested too.
I thought I had been hiding my money pretty good since then. I had 80 dollars underneath my monitor. Then today I wanted to go buy something and i see that its gone.
Like I am pretty sick of this and think i should probably call the police and explain it all to them. What will they do anyway? Opinions?[/quote]
When a member of a family has a “chemical dependency” the obvious part is getting him into some kind of drug treatment like Narcotics Anonymous (NA).
What is not so apparent but is also very important is there is a family dynamic that is involved, the term for this is “co-dependency”. Nar-Anon is an offshoot of NA that is for family members, so they can get help and learn how to deal with what the family is going through.
It is good to have a place to be able to vent about getting ripped off by your brother. But there are also things you need to learn about like “enabling”. ie Your parents giving him a roof over his head and things to steal are enabling him to afford his lifestyle. Then if your brother ever does get into recovery there are things the family needs to know so they don’t sabotage it.
Look here for info
Here is the meetings guide
http://www.nar-anon.org/naranongroups.htm
NA meetings are free to attend they just ask for a dollar if you can afford it. Open meetings are meetings that non-addicts can attend to learn about NA. It would not be a bad idea for you to check them out, get to know some people who will be willing to help and maybe get your brother going. You can look up meetings in your area here:
[quote]Sifu wrote:
What is not so apparent but is also very important is there is a family dynamic that is involved, the term for this is “co-dependency”. [/quote]
Wow. Everyone knows about Freud but few even know systems theory exists. Good stuff right there. In a nutshell, your whole family is just as guilty as your brother.
Exactly. The best thing is to kick him out of the house like I said earlier.
You can force him into rehab but people don’t change unless they’re ready to.
[quote]tom8658 wrote:
elano wrote:
Confront him. That dude needs rehab bad. Seriously, you need to lock him up until the drugs are out of his system. You don’t want your brother reduced to sucking dick for that shit.
He will end up in big trouble or dead if you don’t do something about it now. If you love your brother, you will help him break his addiction.
x2[/quote]
Yah man, I have known people that were addicted to morphine. Fucking shit isn’t fun man, and it only gets worse.
MsM’s post is spot on.
The family needing to man up is a definite.
I’ve seen a lot of people really damage their lives with drugs and 90% of the time they won’t make lasting progress until they really see the need for help themselves usually once they’ve hit rock bottom, which sadly seems yet to come by some way.
Those intervention things look like great fun.
My cousin, who I lived with and thought of as an older brother and looked, up to fell back in to his heroin problem. I had Guns pulled on me, he came home fucked up once and wanted to show me how to cook it if I ever wanted to know and came into my work and tried to fight me.
If one of the other bouncers hadnt come in to pull me off of him I would have put him in the hospital. Not to mention the thousands of Dollars he stole from me.
This is a 28 year old man and an 18 year old kid at the time. On top of that I was dating a girl at the time whos Ex was a junky and on our first date he just walks up to me and hits me right in the face. After that he didnt want to fight me again but continued to be a thorn in my side.
All of my sympathy for abusers of anything, be it drugs or alcohol has been spent. If he gets a drug charge and cant get a job then thats his fucking problem. No one is making him shoot up or steal from his family.
OP if you can get him to HELP HIM SELF then great but other than getting a court order that says he isnt mentally sound then you cant make him go to rehab of any kind b/c he can just leave.
But sooner or later he will do something stupid like try to steal power tools form HomeDepot and get a grand larceny charge. Go to jail and then maybe he’ll be able to clean himself up
try to keep it in the family if you can.
cleaning up your act is hard enough without a crimnal history that makes it hard to get a job.
yeah my little brother had a drug thing too.
he didn’t steal from family or friends though.
one day cops knocked down the door to his place, he was lucky, his roommate got stuck with 4 felonies and a fistfull of misdemeanors. my bro got probation and community service.
last i heard, skinny little stoners don’t do so well in prison…
good luck man.
Well something was missing again so i called the police today. They didn’t really do anything. We just talked for awhile and they said to call them back if something is missing again.
have your mom throw him out! let him hit rock bottom, put a restraining order on him! calling the police once aint gonna do shit.
IF he goes to rehab would be his only other bargaining chip!
Red Sox
First of all remove valuables from house-keep all monies at atm. If your brother is truly a heroin addict you must take action.
Seek out a reputable drug counselor on your own-they have the proper training to deal with the situation.
Maybe your parents are in denial-blinded by love. If he truly is a heroin addict(and maybe crack also) you must take action.
[quote]malonetd wrote:
Stick it in his pooper?[/quote]
LOL
[quote]redsox348984 wrote:
Well something was missing again so i called the police today. They didn’t really do anything. We just talked for awhile and they said to call them back if something is missing again.[/quote]
The police really can’t do much of anything.
Unless you have good insurance rehab costs a lot of money and there is a waiting list. You could have him in an NA meeting tonight or tomorrow morning or afternoon. They are going on around the clock.
Rehab is not a mirracle cure. Addiction is not something a therapist at rehab can just go in and fix so the addict comes out all good 28 days later. All rehab does is gets the addict cleaned out for a few weeks while going to NA meetings. NA can works without rehab, but rehab can’t work without NA.
Once they come out of rehab and are back in the world they can go right back to using. This is how a lot of heroin addicts die by the way. Because cleaning out gets their tolerance is down, if they shoot their normal dose it results in an overdose.
You don’t have to have the big dramatic intervention, just confront him. Tell him you know he’s an addict and you are sick of your shit coming up missing. Tell him if he want to sleep in the house tonight he first has to go to an NA meeting tonight and you will take him. Have your parents tell him that he is going to have to continue going to NA meetings if he is going to continue living in the house.
my brother stole my wallet and me and my dad confronted him when he came home. and my dad told him he wanted him out of the house and my brother took his cell phone and threw it across the room into the wall. then my dad and him went at it and i attacked my brother. then the cops came he got arrested and i also got arrested for assault.