Bully Getting What She Has Coming

Off Topic
41

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]Dr.Matt581 wrote:
I really want to know when it became policy in public schools for adults to allow children to be beaten and not do anything to stop it. That boy could have been seriously injured if he had not stopped the girl when she started kicking him in the head and all the only adult on the bus had to say was “you know I can’t touch you kids.” That is bullshit. If this had happened when I was a kid, the bus driver would have stopped, dragged that girl and her brother outside and beat their asses and then their parents would have done the same thing when they got home. That is why we fought off of school property, at least then we only got one beating afterward. I am not saying that that is exactly what this bus driver should have done, but school faculty should be allowed and required to protect the children under their care. If I was the bus driver, I would have stopped it even if it meant losing my job.
[/quote]
My mom has been a middle school teacher for over 20 years. There will always be a few kids who not only realize that the school literally can’t do shit to them but also have no moral qualms with exploiting that. It becomes a real nightmare. They will do whatever the fuck they want, and if you touch them, you’re fucked 6 ways from Sunday. The parents will always defend them tooth and nail, and the principal 9 times out of 10 will be a pushover who sides with the parents (and thereby the student) because he/she is too much of a wimp to do otherwise i.e. too scared of litigation.

All that being said, I have NEVER known of a teacher who would just let a student get beat on. When something like this happens, the consequences go out the window and someone intervenes. That bus driver was not a good person.[/quote]
I’ve heard the bus drivers can’t do anything but call the cops or else they would get fired. Such a stupid fucking rule. What if the kid was being threatened with a weapon? I hope at that point the bus driver would think a childs life would be more important than their job.

42

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
This kind of stuff really hits a nerve with me.

The whole Bullying thing has been a media hot button topic. To that end I have heard many people IRL and on Tnation claiming how it is a right of passage and Bullying and complaining about it is leading to the pussification of America and of people in general. While I have dealt with bullying and teasing as a kid, none of it was fun, it was embarrassing at times emasculating but thankfully I overcame it not unscathed (maybe a little angry as a teenager) but for the most part Im over it.

When I really struggled with bullying was when it was done to my step son, who came out as a homosexual in high school. The damage it done and the heartbreak I felt when my son was terrified to go to school, because he was isolated, beaten up, humilated and emotional scarred left me with a whole new take on the bullying and its being pushed to the forefront.

The horror he went through for simply being attracted to dudes crushed me and my wife, and it left him with lasting emotional damage. He was an introverted, quiet, unassuming, smart and talented child that had to deal with what I considered over the top bullying. He never made a spectacle of himself or his sexuality but I always had an idea.

Highschool kids picked it up as well and he was betrayed by the few friends he confided in. While not directly related to the video (the kid was a fucking boss BTW) Bullying should not be tolerated the was so many people feel it should. Watching quite a few documentaries about it and being left in tears because I feel so bad for these emotionally tortured kids has totally changed my views on the subject.

While the media loves to beat things to a dead horse, and go over the top to the point where you are almost forced to be contrarian on the matter this is one topic that really needs constant attention. Many times the ones being picked on dont have the fortitude to stand up for themselves and they end up doing damage sometimes ireperable damage to themselves[/quote]
Good call. Some of these kids get pushed so far that the damage can sometimes be irreversible. They might take a weapon to school to try and get revenge or do something to themselves they can’t undo.

43

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
This kind of stuff really hits a nerve with me.

The whole Bullying thing has been a media hot button topic. To that end I have heard many people IRL and on Tnation claiming how it is a right of passage and Bullying and complaining about it is leading to the pussification of America and of people in general. While I have dealt with bullying and teasing as a kid, none of it was fun, it was embarrassing at times emasculating but thankfully I overcame it not unscathed (maybe a little angry as a teenager) but for the most part Im over it.

When I really struggled with bullying was when it was done to my step son, who came out as a homosexual in high school. The damage it done and the heartbreak I felt when my son was terrified to go to school, because he was isolated, beaten up, humilated and emotional scarred left me with a whole new take on the bullying and its being pushed to the forefront.

The horror he went through for simply being attracted to dudes crushed me and my wife, and it left him with lasting emotional damage. He was an introverted, quiet, unassuming, smart and talented child that had to deal with what I considered over the top bullying. He never made a spectacle of himself or his sexuality but I always had an idea.

Highschool kids picked it up as well and he was betrayed by the few friends he confided in. While not directly related to the video (the kid was a fucking boss BTW) Bullying should not be tolerated the was so many people feel it should. Watching quite a few documentaries about it and being left in tears because I feel so bad for these emotionally tortured kids has totally changed my views on the subject.

While the media loves to beat things to a dead horse, and go over the top to the point where you are almost forced to be contrarian on the matter this is one topic that really needs constant attention. Many times the ones being picked on dont have the fortitude to stand up for themselves and they end up doing damage sometimes ireperable damage to themselves[/quote]

Sorry to hear your family went through that. I don’t think people realize how much your impressionable years can have an effect on the rest of your life.

I think your post makes for a great distinction. There is a difference between a little teasing and legitimately being bullied.

People should not step in for a little teasing, a child needs to learn how to stick up for themselves and I feel like a parent fighting all of a childs battles is a recipe for disaster later in life. Anything like what I saw in the video or any long term legitimate verbal abuse needs to be stopped and whoever the bully is needs to get their head kicked in.

44

Side topic, but related. I find that there are opposing goals sometimes in this whole bullying debate.

For instance, my son is 3 1/2. There are plenty of times he’s playing with other kids his age and he gets into little altercations. Sometimes it’s his fault, sometimes it’s not. When he’s instigating, I pull him aside and tell him what he’s doing is wrong. When someone else is teasing or picking on him, I sit back and just let him handle it. Sometimes my blood boils just watching another 3 yr old be an asshole to him, or sometimes they’ll just be rude. But I sit back in the hopes he’s learning, in a small way, how to stick up for himself. If he handles it well (several times he’s told kids to stop hitting him, leave him alone, whatever), I feel happy the incident happened because I can tell him how proud I am at how he handled it.

But when my son is the asshole, I stop it immediately, meaning some other kid won’t have that life lesson that my son gets when he’s on the other side.

45

[quote]Cortes wrote:
Any threads that really deliver, lately?
[/quote]

The thread about Jen Selter really delivers. It hasn’t been made yet but when it does, boy oh boy is it going to deliver.

46

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
This kind of stuff really hits a nerve with me.

The whole Bullying thing has been a media hot button topic. To that end I have heard many people IRL and on Tnation claiming how it is a right of passage and Bullying and complaining about it is leading to the pussification of America and of people in general. While I have dealt with bullying and teasing as a kid, none of it was fun, it was embarrassing at times emasculating but thankfully I overcame it not unscathed (maybe a little angry as a teenager) but for the most part Im over it.

When I really struggled with bullying was when it was done to my step son, who came out as a homosexual in high school. The damage it done and the heartbreak I felt when my son was terrified to go to school, because he was isolated, beaten up, humilated and emotional scarred left me with a whole new take on the bullying and its being pushed to the forefront.

The horror he went through for simply being attracted to dudes crushed me and my wife, and it left him with lasting emotional damage. He was an introverted, quiet, unassuming, smart and talented child that had to deal with what I considered over the top bullying. He never made a spectacle of himself or his sexuality but I always had an idea.

Highschool kids picked it up as well and he was betrayed by the few friends he confided in. While not directly related to the video (the kid was a fucking boss BTW) Bullying should not be tolerated the was so many people feel it should. Watching quite a few documentaries about it and being left in tears because I feel so bad for these emotionally tortured kids has totally changed my views on the subject.

While the media loves to beat things to a dead horse, and go over the top to the point where you are almost forced to be contrarian on the matter this is one topic that really needs constant attention. Many times the ones being picked on dont have the fortitude to stand up for themselves and they end up doing damage sometimes ireperable damage to themselves[/quote]

I get that.

Alas, if you are a pussy it wont get better if you are coddled for being one.

I think it would be (or have been) infinitely healthier for your stepson if he got beaten down after punching a bully in the bollocks, than to do no bolloks punching at all.

Maybe some kids never get it and fall by the wayside, but the rest learns to bollocks punch.

And bollocks punching is where its at.

You cant build a society based on what the most weak, timid and stupid would do or can handle.

47

[quote]csulli wrote:
That bus driver was not a good person.[/quote]

In all fairness, we don’t even know it the driver was on the bus. He might have been taking a break outside before departure time. Also, some people are oblivious to what’s going on around them. I got into a fight in 9th grade science class and the teacher never even knew it. He was intensely introverted and up on the chalk board in front with some kids while me and this other kid were swinging it out in the back of the class with a crowd all around us. He never knew.

48

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:
That bus driver was not a good person.[/quote]

In all fairness, we don’t even know it the driver was on the bus. He might have been taking a break outside before departure time. Also, some people are oblivious to what’s going on around them. I got into a fight in 9th grade science class and the teacher never even knew it. He was intensely introverted and up on the chalk board in front with some kids while me and this other kid were swinging it out in the back of the class with a crowd all around us. He never knew.[/quote]
I’m assuming it was the bus driver’s voice you can hear say something like “I can’t touch y’all kids all I can do is call the cops”

49

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
Side topic, but related. I find that there are opposing goals sometimes in this whole bullying debate.

For instance, my son is 3 1/2. There are plenty of times he’s playing with other kids his age and he gets into little altercations. Sometimes it’s his fault, sometimes it’s not. When he’s instigating, I pull him aside and tell him what he’s doing is wrong. When someone else is teasing or picking on him, I sit back and just let him handle it. Sometimes my blood boils just watching another 3 yr old be an asshole to him, or sometimes they’ll just be rude. But I sit back in the hopes he’s learning, in a small way, how to stick up for himself. If he handles it well (several times he’s told kids to stop hitting him, leave him alone, whatever), I feel happy the incident happened because I can tell him how proud I am at how he handled it.

But when my son is the asshole, I stop it immediately, meaning some other kid won’t have that life lesson that my son gets when he’s on the other side. [/quote]

I raise my kids about the same way. I don’t like my kids getting bullied but I absolutely won’t tolerate my kids bullying anyone. I don’t have to worry about my 12 year old. He never will because he’s too good a kid. I do worry about him getting bullied though. I see him as somewhat of a target because he’s not a good athlete, talks a little funny and has eczema.

When he was around 7-8 I had a girl coming over to teach him and his friend grappling. I think that worked well. If he hits the ground with another kid, he’s going straight for a choke hold from any number of angles. After that, I worked with him for a couple of years on boxing skills and I’d say that paid of too because a few months ago I had him and another friend of his do some drills. I could tell in about 10 seconds my son would annihilate the other kid if they ever got in a fight despite being out weighed by 40 or 50 pounds and the other kid significantly taller as well.

50

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:
That bus driver was not a good person.[/quote]

In all fairness, we don’t even know it the driver was on the bus. He might have been taking a break outside before departure time. Also, some people are oblivious to what’s going on around them. I got into a fight in 9th grade science class and the teacher never even knew it. He was intensely introverted and up on the chalk board in front with some kids while me and this other kid were swinging it out in the back of the class with a crowd all around us. He never knew.[/quote]
I’m assuming it was the bus driver’s voice you can hear say something like “I can’t touch y’all kids all I can do is call the cops”[/quote]

I missed that. If that’s the case I agree he’s a piece of crap.

51

You know, as a kid I can remember a few occasions where parents were quite content to let the kids fight it out…
…as long as their kid was winning. There’s a lot of piece of shit parents out there.

52

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
Side topic, but related. I find that there are opposing goals sometimes in this whole bullying debate.

For instance, my son is 3 1/2. There are plenty of times he’s playing with other kids his age and he gets into little altercations. Sometimes it’s his fault, sometimes it’s not. When he’s instigating, I pull him aside and tell him what he’s doing is wrong. When someone else is teasing or picking on him, I sit back and just let him handle it. Sometimes my blood boils just watching another 3 yr old be an asshole to him, or sometimes they’ll just be rude. But I sit back in the hopes he’s learning, in a small way, how to stick up for himself. If he handles it well (several times/ he’s told kids to stop hitting him, leave him alone, whatever), I feel happy the incident happened because I can tell him how proud I am at how he handled it.

But when my son is the asshole, I stop it immediately, meaning some other kid won’t have that life lesson that my son gets when he’s on the other side. [/quote]

If every parent intervened like you do, they’d get that lesson anyway

53

Strungout - Thanks, and I totally agree.

Lanky - Thank you, and I couldnt of said it any better. There is a definitie delineation of being teased and “normal bullying” like what I went through and the over the top relentless and damaging experiences my son went through. Unfortunately all of this is dependent on the person being bullied.

54

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
This kind of stuff really hits a nerve with me.

The whole Bullying thing has been a media hot button topic. To that end I have heard many people IRL and on Tnation claiming how it is a right of passage and Bullying and complaining about it is leading to the pussification of America and of people in general. While I have dealt with bullying and teasing as a kid, none of it was fun, it was embarrassing at times emasculating but thankfully I overcame it not unscathed (maybe a little angry as a teenager) but for the most part Im over it.

When I really struggled with bullying was when it was done to my step son, who came out as a homosexual in high school. The damage it done and the heartbreak I felt when my son was terrified to go to school, because he was isolated, beaten up, humilated and emotional scarred left me with a whole new take on the bullying and its being pushed to the forefront.

The horror he went through for simply being attracted to dudes crushed me and my wife, and it left him with lasting emotional damage. He was an introverted, quiet, unassuming, smart and talented child that had to deal with what I considered over the top bullying. He never made a spectacle of himself or his sexuality but I always had an idea.

Highschool kids picked it up as well and he was betrayed by the few friends he confided in. While not directly related to the video (the kid was a fucking boss BTW) Bullying should not be tolerated the was so many people feel it should. Watching quite a few documentaries about it and being left in tears because I feel so bad for these emotionally tortured kids has totally changed my views on the subject.

While the media loves to beat things to a dead horse, and go over the top to the point where you are almost forced to be contrarian on the matter this is one topic that really needs constant attention. Many times the ones being picked on dont have the fortitude to stand up for themselves and they end up doing damage sometimes ireperable damage to themselves[/quote]

I get that.

Alas, if you are a pussy it wont get better if you are coddled for being one.

I think it would be (or have been) infinitely healthier for your stepson if he got beaten down after punching a bully in the bollocks, than to do no bolloks punching at all.

Maybe some kids never get it and fall by the wayside, but the rest learns to bollocks punch.

And bollocks punching is where its at.

You cant build a society based on what the most weak, timid and stupid would do or can handle. [/quote]

I hope Im not mis-interpreting what you said, if so I apologize in advance. My son just isnt a fighter, not in the classical physical tough sense I mean. However, that doesent mean he is a pussy in fact, I consider him pretty fucking brave to come out of the closet in high school which can be very rough even if you arent gay. On top of that he came out in area not exactly known for its acceptingness of alternative lifestyles (Staten Island, NY)

I am a firm believer in the saying “sometimes you need a kick in the ass and sometimes you need a pat on the back.” In the instance with my son, the last thing he needed was more berating when he came home from school by his parents in what he should consider his safe haven. When we discovered the issues he was going through he was given comfort and love, and not tough love. I dont think this was fostering him into becoming a pussy but simply giving him what he needed from his parents. If it was normal teasing a kick in the ass may have been appropriate, but not in this instance, if we were to take the kick in the ass approach I think the damage would be far worse.

Now he is a professional (he is 23 now) educated, articulate, sensitive, cultured individual. But I also would be lying if the events he experienced in highschool still dont effect him negatively to this day

55

[quote]The Mighty Stu wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
I think that the really interesting part is that adults are now hamstrung by the threat of litigation into being unable to intervene. Had circumstance been a little different, what is the bus driver going to do? Call 911 and wait while someone gets seriously injured? A friend of mine is a high school principal and he gets frustrated as hell when some motor mouthed kid starts into the whole “What are you going to do about it? I’ll sue this district…” thing after doing something that really does warrant at least a swift swat upside the head- Because they know that the answer is “Nothing!”.
[/quote]

Kids these days are well aware just what “authority figures” can’t do. The advice I’ve heard is that in situations like this, you’re pretty much f-ed if you get involved, and you’ve f-ed if you don’t get involved.

If I were the parents of the girl beating on the white kid and I saw this video I’d be so ashamed of what a job I had done in raising such a child.

S[/quote]

I would be mortified too. I think about both sides of it with my son even though he’s only 19 mos. old. Right now they’re starting to learn the rules of the sandbox and seem to be getting it right. He plays well with other kids in daycare and with his cousin who is a couple of months older.

56

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
Strungout - Thanks, and I totally agree.

Lanky - Thank you, and I couldnt of said it any better. There is a definitie delineation of being teased and “normal bullying” like what I went through and the over the top relentless and damaging experiences my son went through. Unfortunately all of this is dependent on the person being bullied.[/quote]

It sounds like he really was put through the wringer at a bad time already, on a subject that even a lot of adults have a really hard time with. We had a lot of fights and basic peck order stuff growing up, but no real unrelenting malicious jagoffs, except one, and he finally became outcast from the whole neighborhood peer group.

57

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
Strungout - Thanks, and I totally agree.

Lanky - Thank you, and I couldnt of said it any better. There is a definitie delineation of being teased and “normal bullying” like what I went through and the over the top relentless and damaging experiences my son went through. Unfortunately all of this is dependent on the person being bullied.[/quote]

It sounds like he really was put through the wringer at a bad time already, on a subject that even a lot of adults have a really hard time with. We had a lot of fights and basic peck order stuff growing up, but no real unrelenting malicious jagoffs, except one, and he finally became outcast from the whole neighborhood peer group.
[/quote]

Karma is a bitch…

58

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
This kind of stuff really hits a nerve with me.

The whole Bullying thing has been a media hot button topic. To that end I have heard many people IRL and on Tnation claiming how it is a right of passage and Bullying and complaining about it is leading to the pussification of America and of people in general. While I have dealt with bullying and teasing as a kid, none of it was fun, it was embarrassing at times emasculating but thankfully I overcame it not unscathed (maybe a little angry as a teenager) but for the most part Im over it.

When I really struggled with bullying was when it was done to my step son, who came out as a homosexual in high school. The damage it done and the heartbreak I felt when my son was terrified to go to school, because he was isolated, beaten up, humilated and emotional scarred left me with a whole new take on the bullying and its being pushed to the forefront.

The horror he went through for simply being attracted to dudes crushed me and my wife, and it left him with lasting emotional damage. He was an introverted, quiet, unassuming, smart and talented child that had to deal with what I considered over the top bullying. He never made a spectacle of himself or his sexuality but I always had an idea.

Highschool kids picked it up as well and he was betrayed by the few friends he confided in. While not directly related to the video (the kid was a fucking boss BTW) Bullying should not be tolerated the was so many people feel it should. Watching quite a few documentaries about it and being left in tears because I feel so bad for these emotionally tortured kids has totally changed my views on the subject.

While the media loves to beat things to a dead horse, and go over the top to the point where you are almost forced to be contrarian on the matter this is one topic that really needs constant attention. Many times the ones being picked on dont have the fortitude to stand up for themselves and they end up doing damage sometimes ireperable damage to themselves[/quote]

I get that.

Alas, if you are a pussy it wont get better if you are coddled for being one.

I think it would be (or have been) infinitely healthier for your stepson if he got beaten down after punching a bully in the bollocks, than to do no bolloks punching at all.

Maybe some kids never get it and fall by the wayside, but the rest learns to bollocks punch.

And bollocks punching is where its at.

You cant build a society based on what the most weak, timid and stupid would do or can handle. [/quote]

You can stand there in your ivory tower and talk about what’s good for society, let’s see how you feel if you ever have a child and witness them being bullied and changing in front of your eyes.

In this instance, you’re like the guy with no kids giving parenting advice.

59

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
This kind of stuff really hits a nerve with me.

The whole Bullying thing has been a media hot button topic. To that end I have heard many people IRL and on Tnation claiming how it is a right of passage and Bullying and complaining about it is leading to the pussification of America and of people in general. While I have dealt with bullying and teasing as a kid, none of it was fun, it was embarrassing at times emasculating but thankfully I overcame it not unscathed (maybe a little angry as a teenager) but for the most part Im over it.

When I really struggled with bullying was when it was done to my step son, who came out as a homosexual in high school. The damage it done and the heartbreak I felt when my son was terrified to go to school, because he was isolated, beaten up, humilated and emotional scarred left me with a whole new take on the bullying and its being pushed to the forefront.

The horror he went through for simply being attracted to dudes crushed me and my wife, and it left him with lasting emotional damage. He was an introverted, quiet, unassuming, smart and talented child that had to deal with what I considered over the top bullying. He never made a spectacle of himself or his sexuality but I always had an idea.

Highschool kids picked it up as well and he was betrayed by the few friends he confided in. While not directly related to the video (the kid was a fucking boss BTW) Bullying should not be tolerated the was so many people feel it should. Watching quite a few documentaries about it and being left in tears because I feel so bad for these emotionally tortured kids has totally changed my views on the subject.

While the media loves to beat things to a dead horse, and go over the top to the point where you are almost forced to be contrarian on the matter this is one topic that really needs constant attention. Many times the ones being picked on dont have the fortitude to stand up for themselves and they end up doing damage sometimes ireperable damage to themselves[/quote]

I get that.

Alas, if you are a pussy it wont get better if you are coddled for being one.

I think it would be (or have been) infinitely healthier for your stepson if he got beaten down after punching a bully in the bollocks, than to do no bolloks punching at all.

Maybe some kids never get it and fall by the wayside, but the rest learns to bollocks punch.

And bollocks punching is where its at.

You cant build a society based on what the most weak, timid and stupid would do or can handle. [/quote]

You can stand there in your ivory tower and talk about what’s good for society, let’s see how you feel if you ever have a child and witness them being bullied and changing in front of your eyes.

In this instance, you’re like the guy with no kids giving parenting advice. [/quote]

I was that kid.

I took on 4 at a time.

I would like to say that I lost but dispended lots of punches to the bollocks and it was totally worth it, but due to excessive bolloks punching I kind of won.

If I ever have a son, I would rather have him kick, bite and claw to a defeat than meekly accept this nonsense and win by running for help.

60

lol…ok, I should have had more pause than posting what I did. I now know better. Orion, your experience is your experience and I guess it was a simple as punching bullies in the “bullocks” repeatedly, great. I will infer you are calling my son meek, as he didnt do what you did, but the truth is this isnt an after school special, and it simply doesent and didnt run that smoothly. He didnt hide, he took it head on.