Now how would you take it if you fell in love with me and I slept with half of the men in this board and posted all the details and held a “social convention” on how Avarage Orange has a penis which is above your avarage banana while you waiting for me at home swallowing your BCAA ( bitch comitted adultery ashamedly ) ?
[/quote]
You mean the two of us would have sex and you would still have sex with half the male members of this board?
If you are physically able to, why not.
If you feel the need to have sex with female members of this board please have a camera rolling.
Somehow you think having sex with more than on person and being a complete asshole out there to spread as much pain as possible are necessarily the same thing.
There should be more to you then just what lies below your waist.
[/quote]
Animals have no capacity for love? Say?s who? They pretty much have everything they need for it. What they do not have is the capacity to bullshit themselves.
We do.
Yippee.
Plus, not all of me lies above the waist, and I think wise social mores should reflect that, instead of upholding ideals that are impossible to achieve and to suffer from guilt after having inevitably failed.
Since I had this discussion with just about every woman I started to have a realitionship with, maybe I should warn you, it is a slippery slope ;-)…
[quote]Alpha F wrote:
orion wrote:
Headhunter wrote:
IMO: Men who cheat often suffer from low self-esteem. By putting another ‘notch on his belt’, he can think: “See? I’m a superstud!”
If a man’s wife is a total bitch, I can see where he may turn to another woman. The fact that he had many says it all — behind the image was a weak little man in need of Alpha Male.
HH
Or a dominant male, being only as loyal as his oprions forced him to be.
Would any other dominant primate be “weak” if he enjoyed the privileges that were his by right of conquest?
Has any of these primates deserved it more than “my sexual ornament is the fucking Theory of Relativity, bitch”- Einstein?
Animals have no capacity for love, Orion.
Embrace your human nature.
There should be more to you then just what lies below your waist.[/quote]
It’s even better if one can find a SO that embraces both your human nature and what lies below the waist. ;0)
As for cheaters, I tag them as people who are victims of their own style. Some expectations have not been met or voiced out and the solution does not lie with a third party.
As for mono/polygamy, I say it’s up to the individual. As long as the individual is honest in his poly views and expectations, and does not hide them in any way, i.e. true, full, and plain disclosure, then the other person is in no way wronged. Culture only goes so far in shaping the mold of social expectations, but ultimately the responsibility is always at the individual level.
[quote]Headhunter wrote:
IMO: Men who cheat often suffer from low self-esteem. By putting another ‘notch on his belt’, he can think: “See? I’m a superstud!”
[/quote]
Wow. I’m so hot I need to cheat to deceive myself and to prove to my fragile Ego that I can lie to myself, to others, and dig myself deeper into trouble because I can’t honestly deal with my feelings, relationships, and reality on the adult level. Now that’s some type of advertising.
[quote]Typhoon wrote:
Zen warrior wrote:
daltron wrote:
Or… Men who cheat on their wives are just plain scum.
Only if he gets cut. Otherwise is a lucky guy
Seriously, I wonder if it has to do with high T, but in the realm of science advancement?
It was always my beleive that cheating isnt high T or you loving another woman. Its not being man enough to break up with your wife/girlfriend if you dont like her anymore.[/quote]
Damn straight. People usually cheat because the realtionships already in trouble. It’s not infidelity that causes the trouble when everything has been perfect. It is my personal belief that human beings are not biologically meant to be a monogamous. Rather, it’s a gift we give to our partners.
Soemthing that we can give. A sacrifice we make because we love them so much. Because we’re not animals. we can forego momentary pleasure and instant gratification to give something greater to someone else [and ourselves]. Not just with sex, but i think delayed gratification is a lot of what separates human beings from animals anyhow.
Not only is monogamy a gift. It’s the greatest gift we can give. It means much more than a diamond ring or knecklace, a nice set of ties, or a new motorcycle.
If you make the decision to not be monogomous more power to you. But you are pathetic if you are doing behind your partners back. If you want to be able to be with more then one woman make it clear from the begining there are women out there that would be all for an open relationships. But then its not cheating anymore is it.
We are talking about cheating having a partner thats committed to you and then you going behind their back and screwing someone else.
I am all for not thinking in social norms, living all over the world teaches you a lot of things. But when it comes to being with another person its pretty simple, dont be selfish enough to do stuff behind your parnters back when they are commited to you and monogomy is expected.
[quote]Typhoon wrote:
If you make the decision to not be monogomous more power to you. But you are pathetic if you are doing behind your partners back. If you want to be able to be with more then one woman make it clear from the begining there are women out there that would be all for an open relationships. But then its not cheating anymore is it.
We are talking about cheating having a partner thats committed to you and then you going behind their back and screwing someone else.
I am all for not thinking in social norms, living all over the world teaches you a lot of things. But when it comes to being with another person its pretty simple, dont be selfish enough to do stuff behind your parnters back when they are commited to you and monogomy is expected.[/quote]
Exactly. If you decide monogamy is something that’s not for you, find a woman/man that feels the same way. There are plenty. Maybe not as many women, but I think they are becoming increasingly common. I’ve casually dated a few women who were not committed to monogamy and did not think they ever wanted to marry.
Animals don’t get married or make promises either. If you want to embrace the animal side of human nature, then don’t make promises or get married. Or, if you’d later changed your mind, get out of that promise or marriage before moving on.
[quote]Typhoon wrote:
If you make the decision to not be monogomous more power to you. But you are pathetic if you are doing behind your partners back. If you want to be able to be with more then one woman make it clear from the begining there are women out there that would be all for an open relationships. But then its not cheating anymore is it.
We are talking about cheating having a partner thats committed to you and then you going behind their back and screwing someone else.
I am all for not thinking in social norms, living all over the world teaches you a lot of things. But when it comes to being with another person its pretty simple, dont be selfish enough to do stuff behind your parnters back when they are commited to you and monogomy is expected.[/quote]
[quote]Kailash wrote:
Animals don’t get married or make promises either. If you want to embrace the animal side of human nature, then don’t make promises or get married. Or, if you’d later changed your mind, get out of that promise or marriage before moving on.
There should be more to you then just what lies below your waist.
Animals have no capacity for love? Say?s who? They pretty much have everything they need for it. What they do not have is the capacity to bullshit themselves.
We do.
Yippee.
Plus, not all of me lies above the waist, and I think wise social mores should reflect that, instead of upholding ideals that are impossible to achieve and to suffer from guilt after having inevitably failed.
Since I had this discussion with just about every woman I started to have a realitionship with, maybe I should warn you, it is a slippery slope ;-)… [/quote]
Orion, I wanna take you on…!
Well…really, maybe I should warn you I just want to go down that slippery slope with you, uummm… ; )
I agree with you on the " what animals don’t have is the capacity to bullshit themselves" ( except, of course for bulls ) …humans do bs themselves most of the time.
and on “suffering guilt because you inevitably failed a certain ideal” - quite different from your previous statement of a “dominant male who makes conquests…”
Oh, oh…let us not go there. In fact let me go lift something heavy right now… ; )
What is love? Since I have found a woman who embodies many of the values that I hold dear, this causes me to love her. Having sex with her is my expression of that love.
Anyone who has to have 10 different sex partners has no conception of love. This is a weak little man who thinks that, somehow, one of the effects (sex) can replace the cause (love). Einstein was a confused little man.
Look at all the people around us who want an effect without a cause. They want a peaceful, happy world where governments are based upon force. They want to be rich, without effort. They want to have good schools, but pay teachers $24000 or so to start.
The list of this irrationality is endless, yet connected.
[quote]Headhunter wrote:
What is love? Since I have found a woman who embodies many of the values that I hold dear, this causes me to love her. Having sex with her is my expression of that love.
Anyone who has to have 10 different sex partners has no conception of love. This is a weak little man who thinks that, somehow, one of the effects (sex) can replace the cause (love). Einstein was a confused little man.
Look at all the people around us who want an effect without a cause. They want a peaceful, happy world where governments are based upon force. They want to be rich, without effort. They want to have good schools, but pay teachers $24000 or so to start.
The list of this irrationality is endless, yet connected.
HH
[/quote]
I’m not sure what you’re trying to say. And I’m not sure I agree. Sex and love are deeply connected. But not irrevocably. Sex is certainly more meaninful and often better when you love the person. But it is not necessary for it to be intensely pleasureable. It can be more pleasurable with someone you don’t love. More pleasurable. Not more fulfilling. I’ve had great, mind-blowing sex with women I didn’t love. But that’s all it was. I don’t pretend it’s anything more. Nor did it need to be.
[quote]Headhunter wrote:
What is love? Since I have found a woman who embodies many of the values that I hold dear, this causes me to love her. Having sex with her is my expression of that love.
Anyone who has to have 10 different sex partners has no conception of love. This is a weak little man who thinks that, somehow, one of the effects (sex) can replace the cause (love). Einstein was a confused little man.
Look at all the people around us who want an effect without a cause. They want a peaceful, happy world where governments are based upon force. They want to be rich, without effort. They want to have good schools, but pay teachers $24000 or so to start.
The list of this irrationality is endless, yet connected.
HH
[/quote]
I know exactly what you are saying.
And I am pleasantly surprized to actually find someone who shares this perception.
You brought tears to my eyes…
…and I don’t even have a heart! ; )
PS. He is saying love is value ; we want to have valuable things/experiences without valueing them ourselves.
If you get into a relationship and the expectation on the part of both parties is that the relationship will be monogomous you’ve got no integrity if you break that expectation.
If there’s no such expectation express or implied there’s no cheating and it’s all good.
Just ensure that your behaviour meets up with the expectations that were set at the outset of the relationship and you’ll have done nothing wrong.
