Chaos Is The Plan: 12 Week Progress Report
Intro
I’m about to start week 12 of this program, which will be the deload of my 3rd cycle, so I figured that was enough time invested to write down some of my takeaways so far. Since I’m still pretty new to this site, I’ll give a little background on myself here. I competed in Olympic weightlifting for around 8 years (2014-2022), doing moderately well; I snatched 202lb and clean & jerked 255lb at a bodyweight of around 187. After growing disillusioned with that sport, I tried a whole host of other things, including but not limited to; strongman, Tactical Strength Challenge, kettlebell sport, “armlifting”, and other things I can’t remember off the top of my head. I spent most of this year in a state of ennui regarding training in general. To compound that fact, the gym I was a member of for over a decade announced they were closing and being absorbed by a corporate chain, so I was facing the reality of joining a new gym or setting up a home gym space. I chose the latter, and continued to spin my wheels with no real direction until I revisited/reread the “Chaos Is The Plan” article. There was a comment in there to the effect of “Remember the guy who could only train Mon-Fri on his lunch break? He could do a lot worse than taking things off the floor and putting them over his head during that time”. Something about that spoke to me; I was spinning my wheels making no progress, so I might as well try something unconventional to kick my ass into gear.
The Training
I wanted to test that theory, so I trained Mon-Fri for 30 minutes a session (20 minutes during deload weeks); usually before work, but sometimes would have to push it to lunch hour or after work. I have no spreadsheet, schedule, or plan beyond that. I might have a rough idea in my mind of a couple workouts I want to do, but beyond that, every session gets planned the night before or the morning of.
Every workout, I pick at least one implement, and do some kind of floor-to-overhead movement. I prefer clean & press, but frequently use snatches, thrusters, and overhead carries as well. I haven’t used push presses or jerks as I don’t feel they have a ton of carryover to strict pressing and they are inferior for physique development, but I reserve the right to employ them in the future. Set and rep schemes are anything I can think of; I frequently borrow from the 531 books, but also just make things up using typical concepts; ladders, pyramids, EMOM’s, circuits, etc.
I have collected a ton of implements to cycle through; barbell, axle, viking handle, thick dumbbell handle that works as a circus dumbbell, keg, log, cinder block, and multiple atlas stones, sandbags & kettlebells. While the end goal for each is identical, the different techniques required result in different adaptations; lapping the stones and sandbags requires very strong quads, while snatching a kettlebell is almost purely a hinge, for example. Likewise, the grip strength required to palm a stone and squeeze a kettlebell is very different.
In addition to that, I try to do some assistance work each day in the classic “push/pull/legs” categories. My logic is, floor-to-overhead is full body, so assistance might as well be, too. I favor bodyweight movements like pullups, dips, and lunges for this as they are easy to setup and work with my space and equipment. 3 challenging sets of an exercise from each category is usually what I do; sprinkled throughout my main floor-to-overhead work however I see fit.
I should also mention that while I don’t consider it training, I walk for 30 minutes every day, rain or shine. I think this helps with recovery and “base building”. If you can’t walk for 30 minutes without getting winded, how the heck can you lift weights for that long or longer? Beyond that, I do no recovery work at all; I’ve spend time using foam rollers, lacrosse balls, rubber bands, etc., in the past, but have noticed no ill effects since stopping. Finally, I sleep 7-8 hours a night religiously.
The Nutrition
I took the “eat meat and eggs” direction to heart and finally started eating like someone who wants to be big and strong. I’ve been putting back 1.5 lbs of meat a day for the entirety of the program, and at least 6 eggs (but sometimes up to 12) for that time as well, plus cottage cheese, skyr, milk, and other protein sources. Equally as important is the quality of the sources; the majority of my meat is from grass fed/finished ruminant animals (mostly beef and lamb); they’re just better. All seafood is from wild caught fish that is low on the food chain to avoid pollutants (mostly Alaskan salmon and skipjack tuna). If I eat pork or chicken, I get it local from a farmer I’ve known and trusted for over a decade; the taste is incredibly noticeable, let alone the nutritional benefits. I buy pastured eggs, preferably ones that don’t supplement their chickens with corn/soy feed. My dairy products are likewise from grass fed/finished cows. I eat a ton of fruit and veggies (though I could probably do a little better with the latter). And possibly the most important part of all- I cook 99% of my meals at home, so I know exactly what is going into my body.
What I Liked
Being able to throw away my spreadsheets and make a gametime decision on the workout of the day was a huge monkey off my back. I was one of those people who would plan out long cycles but never finish them; this type of 180 was definitely needed to quit trying to plan so much and just commit to working harder.
I also enjoy the variety this program provides. Some might read that and say “Really? You just clean & press everyday…”, and they wouldn’t be wrong, but being able to rotate between all the odd objects I’ve collected (not to mention the infinite number of assistance exercises at my disposal) means I never do the same workout twice.
Finally (and I think most importantly) - this may be unique to me, but there’s a “coolness factor” in lifting axles, stones and sandbags (let alone the fact that I am doing it outside) that I don’t connect with when I do more conventional programs. I truly believe that this type of training is going to make me better. I just didn’t have that level of buy-in when I tried other programs more focused on powerlifting or bodybuilding, and that is why I failed on them.
What I Didn’t Like
My legs! I feel like all the cleaning and snatching took care of my posterior chain, but I just could not find a good, consistent answer for quad work. All of the squat assistance variations I tried seemed to tax the grip and upper back more than my legs (think sandbag/goblet variations). The closest thing I found were sled drags, but that’s not always feasible training at 0630 before work. Ultimately, I plan to work in some barbell back squats for the next cycle; there really is no substitute.
Also, any program based around a single movement pattern like this one is begging for an overuse injury, and I have had to deal with some tennis elbow in my right arm. I work around it by constantly varying the implements, but if someone only had a barbell and kettlebells, they would likely run into some repetitive motion injuries.
Results - Strength
This section will look a little different from most program reviews, simply because my training is so unconventional. But bottom line - this program got me stronger. I PR’ed my 5x10 “Boring But Big” weight on strict press at 88lb, while cleaning each rep from the floor, and using an axle. The 100lb sandbag used to be hit-or-miss; now I can reliably clean & press it multiple times per workout. I used to require a push press to get my 100lb keg overhead; now I can take it straight from my lap like a viper press. I used to be one-and-done with my 95lb atlas stone; I can now do multiple reps per minute with it. The 53lb kettlebell used to be reserved for snatch or jerk workouts; I can now comfortably strict press it for multiple sets per session. So long story short - I pretty much improved at every implement. My grip strength has also noticeably improved; rope chins have gotten significantly easier, even during workouts where they are superset with another grip-demanding exercise.
Results - Physique
I started this program weighing on average 181-182 lb at 5’10”, and I weighed myself on week 11 at 182.8, so really no change in bodyweight at all. However, my before/after pictures below (taken in weeks 1 and 11) make it evident that I’ve had some positive changes in body composition. My theory - the huge range-of-motion of taking something from the floor and putting it overhead just stimulates so much muscle mass (like, all of it), and the odd object work fires up all the “stabilizers” more than the basic barbell/dumbbell/bodyweight work of most programs. In particular, I think my shoulders have really grown, but I also feel like my midsection has gotten a little tighter. My girlfriend has also started catcalling me about my biceps. I’m very happy with all of these developments.
What’s Next?
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. I intend to ride this train until the wheels fall off. I have a couple backup plans in mind for if I ever want/need a break from this protocol, but seeing as how I am making progress on my strength/physique goals, I see no reason to change things up.
