[quote]Pweedith wrote:
Alexander didn’t spar his son purely out of anger, it was to teach him a lesson. If it was purely out of anger he wouldn’t have bothered with the gear and just smacked him around but no he had his son gear up and jabbed (with control) at him as a lesson. If his son was disobeying him and lying to him he needs to do something to show the kid that he’s the Alpha Male of the family and that his son better respect him for it. A 16 year old vs a pro fighter is their version of a spanking. The kid has no shot whatsoever of even hurting his dad unless he’s some super skilled prodigy and they forgot to mention that.
I grew up with parents that didn’t use any type of physical punishment. They used the types of punishment that are normal nowadays like tv privileges, grounding, taking away a phone or computer but to me I saw it as a challenge. They took away my tv privileges and I snuck it whenever I could. All these punishments did to me was create a challenge in my head of how to get out of them because I knew if I found ways out there was really no punishment. If they used physical punishment it would have brought me down a peg or two and I would have feared and respected their authority over me more. Alas at a young age I learned that there were ways around punishment and most threats were hollow.
Before you bring up the fact that I’m using examples that only pertain to me and my situation remember that all kids are wired differently. Its nature vs nurture. It might be in my nature to be a good well behaving child but maybe I never had the proper nurturing to develop in that way. Or maybe I never had the proper wiring for all that and regardless of nurturing my parents were just screwed. There are plenty of people that are good. There are plenty that are bad.
Everyone is different. Some believe in physical discipline, some don’t. Some kids respond positively to physical discipline, others will act out more from it or respond better with other forms of discipline. Personally I think psychological abuse like shaming a kid is much more damaging than a little smackdown, but what do I know, I’m just a kid who had my childhood shaped by mental abuse.
Disclaimer: Yes I am only 21 so I guess my argument holds no value to all you people with your kids, but think about this: If you were all trying to say decipher what a female thought about something…wouldn’t it help to get input from females as well. I put my arguments forth merely as my opinion as one of the children being raised in todays world based on my experiences and what I see with kids my age around me. And just because someone is older and has more life experience doesn’t necessarily make what they say more important or more right. We’re all sharing our opinions and just because someone disagrees with you doesn’t make them wrong. You can put forth an argument for why you think you’re right but don’t try and tear apart someones character and argument just because you don’t see it the same way. We aren’t politicians after all.[/quote]
This is a well thought out post and I appreciate the effort that you put into it.
According to police reports he did box him because he was mad. Kudos to him for at least tempering that anger until he got into the ring.
As a father and a son I disagree about the need to show that I’m the Alpha Male. I need to show my son that I’m worthy of respect and that he’s worthy of respect. But the Alpha Male thing only goes so far. If you teach him to only obey people (or things like laws) that he fears then you’ve set him up to fail.
If you were able to find ways around your punishments then your parents didn’t do a great job of dishing out that punishment. My parents were great at using shame to keep me pretty much on the straight and narrow. Of course I tested the limits like all kids do (hell, I still do) and when I did my parents punished me. It used to be hitting but then that stopped working (it never really worked) and they picked more appropriate punishments. Grounding was one of them and they were pretty good at making sure that I didn’t circumvent it.
You’re right about everyone responding differently to various punishments. But I don’t see boxing your son as a form of punishment. You’re simply kicking his ass to kick his ass and he’s not going to learn anything besides dad is tougher. But he already knew that lesson. How does kicking his ass teach him respect? How does it teach him that he shouldn’t lie? Punishment for your kids should be first and foremost to teach them.
Side note, there’s no need for your disclaimer. I don’t think that anyone has said that your opinions were worth less than anyone else because you don’t have kids. Hell, I don’t think that most of the guys who think that it was OK for Houston to box his son have kids.
james