Borderline Personality Disorder

Off Topic
61

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]Varqanir wrote:
You will split up, and you will feel relief for about three days, followed by immense regret, followed by the aching feeling of her gone from your everyday life. You will remember all of the good moments an none of the bad. You will have long, lonely, soul-searching nights, at least on the bights you are not having meaningless, unfulfilling sex, or chain smoking and drinking yourself into oblivion. You will write her letters, and eventually arrange to meet her in an Italian restaurant [/quote]
Definitely NOT how it was for me. I was happier immediately and grew happier still as the days drew on. All I could think about how much less stressful everything was without her and how thankful I was to have not wasted any more of my life. A year later I’m feeling better than ever!

Maybe it’s totally different for people with kids though I dunno.[/quote]

I e got kids and even so, I was immediately happier without her. It was as if a switch was flipped. That’s not to say I wasn’t concerned about raising kids as a divorced parent but I remember the day I moved out and mixed in with all the grief was palpable relief that I was no longer subject to the day to day bullshit that I found so caustic. There were no second thoughts on my part (even when she asked me to take her back months later) and I told myself I would do whatever it takes to never wind up in that situation again.[/quote]

Yeah. Now what I signed a lease for an apartment, bought furniture and am ready to go I cannot tell you how relieved I am that I no longer have to walk on eggshells every night and day. I will NEVER end up like this again.

63

[quote]Chushin wrote:

You’ve been through some trials during your time on T-Nation, my friend.

I hope it’s all good from here on in for you.[/quote]

Thank you, I appreciate the kind words, I really do.

64

Both of the long term relationships I’ve had in hind sight were with people with classic BPD. Both made psuedo-suicide attempts upon break up and all sorts of other fun stuff.

Now that I’m free and clear of these damaging relationships. I’m more worried about what it says about me than I am about trying to “Save them” any more.

Have any of you who have a history with these kind of women considered the same thing about yourself or have any theories?

65

[quote]MementoMori wrote:
Both of the long term relationships I’ve had in hind sight were with people with classic BPD. Both made psuedo-suicide attempts upon break up and all sorts of other fun stuff.

Now that I’m free and clear of these damaging relationships. I’m more worried about what it says about me than I am about trying to “Save them” any more.

Have any of you who have a history with these kind of women considered the same thing about yourself or have any theories?[/quote]

Well, if you 25 it is highly unlikely that you mature boundaries, at least not in a relationship.

66

[quote]MementoMori wrote:
Have any of you who have a history with these kind of women considered the same thing about yourself or have any theories?[/quote]
Well of course. Even if it’s coming from a crazy person.

67

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]MementoMori wrote:
Both of the long term relationships I’ve had in hind sight were with people with classic BPD. Both made psuedo-suicide attempts upon break up and all sorts of other fun stuff.

Now that I’m free and clear of these damaging relationships. I’m more worried about what it says about me than I am about trying to “Save them” any more.

Have any of you who have a history with these kind of women considered the same thing about yourself or have any theories?[/quote]

Well, if you 25 it is highly unlikely that you mature boundaries, at least not in a relationship.

[/quote]

I just mean the propensity to “Seek it out.” Lots of ways to fuck up without developing a pattern.

68

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]MementoMori wrote:
Have any of you who have a history with these kind of women considered the same thing about yourself or have any theories?[/quote]
Well of course. Even if it’s coming from a crazy person.[/quote]

Don’t even know what you’re getting at.

69

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]Varqanir wrote:
You will split up, and you will feel relief for about three days, followed by immense regret, followed by the aching feeling of her gone from your everyday life. You will remember all of the good moments an none of the bad. You will have long, lonely, soul-searching nights, at least on the bights you are not having meaningless, unfulfilling sex, or chain smoking and drinking yourself into oblivion. You will write her letters, and eventually arrange to meet her in an Italian restaurant [/quote]
Definitely NOT how it was for me. I was happier immediately and grew happier still as the days drew on. All I could think about how much less stressful everything was without her and how thankful I was to have not wasted any more of my life. A year later I’m feeling better than ever!

Maybe it’s totally different for people with kids though I dunno.[/quote]

I e got kids and even so, I was immediately happier without her. It was as if a switch was flipped. That’s not to say I wasn’t concerned about raising kids as a divorced parent but I remember the day I moved out and mixed in with all the grief was palpable relief that I was no longer subject to the day to day bullshit that I found so caustic. There were no second thoughts on my part (even when she asked me to take her back months later) and I told myself I would do whatever it takes to never wind up in that situation again.[/quote]

If its not too personal of a question, how many times did it take you before you finally made it out? I only ask because I know I ran through Varqanir’s scenario a few times before I finally got a firm grasp on exactly what was happening. Once I did, it was just a matter of finding a safe way out and then I never looked back.

The weird thing is that I will still have the occasional dream that I am back together with the ex and I am always like, “How the fuck did I let this asshole back in my life?” It was really prevalent early on, but is much better now. At this point, my thoughts are more along the lines of, “Why the fuck is he still hanging around when this shit is dead?” I like to think that this shows growth on my part :slight_smile:

It is unfortunate that abuse is still mainly seen as a “female problem” but I don’t see how you can classify this type of behavior as anything but abusive. With that disclaimer said, there is a book called “Why does he do that?” that was life saver for me. The author does make it a point to say that this is not a gender specific book, but he defaults to the female victim as a matter of practicality. If you can get over the he/she pronouns, there is a lot of terrific insight in it http://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656

70

Dr Tara Palamatier has a series, “In his own words”

Holy…

Goddamn…

I have no words…

I mean, there is bishes be crazy and there is clinically, diagnosable caaaaaarazy.

71

Check out www.lovefraud.com. It’s helped me tremendously

72

So someone explain to me what the difference is between BPD and the majority of female behavior? Is it just the physical violence? Because ime women tend to manipulate guys either subconsciously or consciously for attention so they can get affection, love, and/or passion.

The same with ups and downs. It seems like they have to cause the downs in a relationship so there can be ups later, because they can never be content in a normal, steady relationship. I’m not saying I’ve had the most experience with women, but between that and seeing friends relationships etc, it seems pretty normal behavior that most women display.

The only thing I can see that’s different is the flipping out in violent rage. Is that thing that separates BPD from normal behavior? Seems like there would be more to it?

73

[quote]Babylat wrote:
So someone explain to me what the difference is between BPD and the majority of female behavior? Is it just the physical violence? Because ime women tend to manipulate guys either subconsciously or consciously for attention so they can get affection, love, and/or passion. The same with ups and downs. It seems like they have to cause the downs in a relationship so there can be ups later, because they can never be content in a normal, steady relationship. I’m not saying I’ve had the most experience with women, but between that and seeing friends relationships etc, it seems pretty normal behavior that most women display.

The only thing I can see that’s different is the flipping out in violent rage. Is that thing that separates BPD from normal behavior? Seems like there would be more to it?[/quote]

Good point.

Narcissism is on the upswing today, and what was once a male domain seems to be one where women have caught up.

So, what you would call BPD is in some ways normal behavior these day and its out in the open if you can get away with it.

If you click the link I provided you will come across story upon story of women who tell their husbands point blank that they can and will get away with whatever mindfucked assclownery they can cook up.

The BPD personality is bad enough, but if you have a society running on the delusional assumption that abuse is a phenomenon that is done by men to women a female cluster B fuck up can get away with it.

Easily.

In some ways we have created the most narcissistic entitled princesses ever known to man and BPDs have no problems whatsoever to hide among them.

74

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Babylat wrote:
So someone explain to me what the difference is between BPD and the majority of female behavior? Is it just the physical violence? Because ime women tend to manipulate guys either subconsciously or consciously for attention so they can get affection, love, and/or passion. The same with ups and downs. It seems like they have to cause the downs in a relationship so there can be ups later, because they can never be content in a normal, steady relationship. I’m not saying I’ve had the most experience with women, but between that and seeing friends relationships etc, it seems pretty normal behavior that most women display.

The only thing I can see that’s different is the flipping out in violent rage. Is that thing that separates BPD from normal behavior? Seems like there would be more to it?[/quote]

Good point.

Narcissism is on the upswing today, and what was once a male domain seems to be one where women have caught up.

So, what you would call BPD is in some ways normal behavior these day and its out in the open if you can get away with it.

If you click the link I provided you will come across story upon story of women who tell their husbands point blank that they can and will get away with whatever mindfucked assclownery they can cook up.

The BPD personality is bad enough, but if you have a society running on the delusional assumption that abuse is a phenomenon that is done by men to women a female cluster B fuck up can get away with it.

Easily.

In some ways we have created the most narcissistic entitled princesses ever known to man and BPDs have no problems whatsoever to hide among them.

[/quote]

But, of course, you’re not at all a misogynist.

75

[quote]LoRez wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Babylat wrote:
So someone explain to me what the difference is between BPD and the majority of female behavior? Is it just the physical violence? Because ime women tend to manipulate guys either subconsciously or consciously for attention so they can get affection, love, and/or passion. The same with ups and downs. It seems like they have to cause the downs in a relationship so there can be ups later, because they can never be content in a normal, steady relationship. I’m not saying I’ve had the most experience with women, but between that and seeing friends relationships etc, it seems pretty normal behavior that most women display.

The only thing I can see that’s different is the flipping out in violent rage. Is that thing that separates BPD from normal behavior? Seems like there would be more to it?[/quote]

Good point.

Narcissism is on the upswing today, and what was once a male domain seems to be one where women have caught up.

So, what you would call BPD is in some ways normal behavior these day and its out in the open if you can get away with it.

If you click the link I provided you will come across story upon story of women who tell their husbands point blank that they can and will get away with whatever mindfucked assclownery they can cook up.

The BPD personality is bad enough, but if you have a society running on the delusional assumption that abuse is a phenomenon that is done by men to women a female cluster B fuck up can get away with it.

Easily.

In some ways we have created the most narcissistic entitled princesses ever known to man and BPDs have no problems whatsoever to hide among them.

[/quote]

But, of course, you’re not at all a misogynist.[/quote]

I dont care if I am or not.

I call it like I see it and people can stick any label on it they want to.

A quick google search should reveal whether narcissism is on the rise, especially among females and whether 25% of all women in the US are on mental health drugs.

Seems like their sexual utopia is not working out for them so well.

76

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]LoRez wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Babylat wrote:
So someone explain to me what the difference is between BPD and the majority of female behavior? Is it just the physical violence? Because ime women tend to manipulate guys either subconsciously or consciously for attention so they can get affection, love, and/or passion. The same with ups and downs. It seems like they have to cause the downs in a relationship so there can be ups later, because they can never be content in a normal, steady relationship. I’m not saying I’ve had the most experience with women, but between that and seeing friends relationships etc, it seems pretty normal behavior that most women display.

The only thing I can see that’s different is the flipping out in violent rage. Is that thing that separates BPD from normal behavior? Seems like there would be more to it?[/quote]

Good point.

Narcissism is on the upswing today, and what was once a male domain seems to be one where women have caught up.

So, what you would call BPD is in some ways normal behavior these day and its out in the open if you can get away with it.

If you click the link I provided you will come across story upon story of women who tell their husbands point blank that they can and will get away with whatever mindfucked assclownery they can cook up.

The BPD personality is bad enough, but if you have a society running on the delusional assumption that abuse is a phenomenon that is done by men to women a female cluster B fuck up can get away with it.

Easily.

In some ways we have created the most narcissistic entitled princesses ever known to man and BPDs have no problems whatsoever to hide among them.

[/quote]

But, of course, you’re not at all a misogynist.[/quote]

I dont care if I am or not.

I call it like I see it and people can stick any label on it they want to.

A quick google search should reveal whether narcissism is on the rise, especially among females and whether 25% of all women in the US are on mental health drugs.

Seems like their sexual utopia is not working out for them so well. [/quote]

You are not a misogynist.

You are a misomalakeist.

I leave it to you to discover what that is.

77

[quote]Babylat wrote:
So someone explain to me what the difference is between BPD and the majority of female behavior? Is it just the physical violence? Because ime women tend to manipulate guys either subconsciously or consciously for attention so they can get affection, love, and/or passion.

The same with ups and downs. It seems like they have to cause the downs in a relationship so there can be ups later, because they can never be content in a normal, steady relationship. I’m not saying I’ve had the most experience with women, but between that and seeing friends relationships etc, it seems pretty normal behavior that most women display.

The only thing I can see that’s different is the flipping out in violent rage. Is that thing that separates BPD from normal behavior? Seems like there would be more to it?[/quote]

BDP simply means that a person feels emotions much stronger and for a longer period then others, usually a painful sense or fear of abandonment runs a lot of the conflict they feel. Also added sense of conflict with family members out of that fear, I think. They created DBT therapy originally for the purpose of curing BDP, and most cases do experience a full recovery if they follow through with therapy.

78

[quote]cstratton2 wrote:

[quote]Babylat wrote:
So someone explain to me what the difference is between BPD and the majority of female behavior? Is it just the physical violence? Because ime women tend to manipulate guys either subconsciously or consciously for attention so they can get affection, love, and/or passion.

The same with ups and downs. It seems like they have to cause the downs in a relationship so there can be ups later, because they can never be content in a normal, steady relationship. I’m not saying I’ve had the most experience with women, but between that and seeing friends relationships etc, it seems pretty normal behavior that most women display.

The only thing I can see that’s different is the flipping out in violent rage. Is that thing that separates BPD from normal behavior? Seems like there would be more to it?[/quote]

BDP simply means that a person feels emotions much stronger and for a longer period then others, usually a painful sense or fear of abandonment runs a lot of the conflict they feel. Also added sense of conflict with family members out of that fear, I think. They created DBT therapy originally for the purpose of curing BDP, and most cases do experience a full recovery if they follow through with therapy. [/quote]

IMHO, you have BPD and you don’t get DBT ASAP, you could be TSOL.

QED.

79

[quote]Varqanir wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]LoRez wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Babylat wrote:
So someone explain to me what the difference is between BPD and the majority of female behavior? Is it just the physical violence? Because ime women tend to manipulate guys either subconsciously or consciously for attention so they can get affection, love, and/or passion. The same with ups and downs. It seems like they have to cause the downs in a relationship so there can be ups later, because they can never be content in a normal, steady relationship. I’m not saying I’ve had the most experience with women, but between that and seeing friends relationships etc, it seems pretty normal behavior that most women display.

The only thing I can see that’s different is the flipping out in violent rage. Is that thing that separates BPD from normal behavior? Seems like there would be more to it?[/quote]

Good point.

Narcissism is on the upswing today, and what was once a male domain seems to be one where women have caught up.

So, what you would call BPD is in some ways normal behavior these day and its out in the open if you can get away with it.

If you click the link I provided you will come across story upon story of women who tell their husbands point blank that they can and will get away with whatever mindfucked assclownery they can cook up.

The BPD personality is bad enough, but if you have a society running on the delusional assumption that abuse is a phenomenon that is done by men to women a female cluster B fuck up can get away with it.

Easily.

In some ways we have created the most narcissistic entitled princesses ever known to man and BPDs have no problems whatsoever to hide among them.

[/quote]

But, of course, you’re not at all a misogynist.[/quote]

I dont care if I am or not.

I call it like I see it and people can stick any label on it they want to.

A quick google search should reveal whether narcissism is on the rise, especially among females and whether 25% of all women in the US are on mental health drugs.

Seems like their sexual utopia is not working out for them so well. [/quote]

You are not a misogynist.

You are a misomalakeist.

I leave it to you to discover what that is. [/quote]

I am someone who despises ignorant wankers?