Big D*ck Inferiority Complex

Off Topic
623

[quote]Alpha F wrote:
In my experience, however, both men and women that have facial beauty going for them tend to bring less to the table - generally speaking.
Of course, there are exceptions.

People of average looks and or “ugly” tend to cultivate inner qualities to be able to attract a mate: they have to go to “work” just to be seen, as it were.

[/quote]

I don’t know. I think this is true in some cases, but not enough to be a rule. And if it is. it only applies to teenagers and people in their early twenties because most grow out of the world revolving around getting laid only when real life starts to happen and people develop in other ways.

I also think it only really applies when attractive people know they are attractive and we all know that confidence doesn’t actually reflect reality that way.

Popular opinion is that looks drives everything, and I think it opens some doors for sure, but in the end, in the real world, once high school is up, competence, leadership and charisma is what really drives society, both personally and professionally. Those skills are not even close to being developed until after all that high school nonsense is up. People grow A LOT in their twenties. People are also a lot less dumbstruck by beauty when hormones are no longer the primary driving force.

I spend a lot of time with people of all different looks, at work and out of work, and it really doesn’t factor in all that much for most people. Once you know someone who is really attractive, you become numb to their looks because they are soon just ‘Dave’ or ‘Sara,’ same goes for unattractive. Most people, men and women, have quite a low tolerance for bullshit regardless of how pretty you are, unless there is some definite sex as a factor, and there rarely is, and so you won’t get too far trying to ride on looks with a shitty personality. This is what most people find out in college.

624

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]Alpha F wrote:
In my experience, however, both men and women that have facial beauty going for them tend to bring less to the table - generally speaking.
Of course, there are exceptions.

People of average looks and or “ugly” tend to cultivate inner qualities to be able to attract a mate: they have to go to “work” just to be seen, as it were.

[/quote]

I don’t know. I think this is true in some cases, but not enough to be a rule. And if it is. it only applies to teenagers and people in their early twenties because most grow out of the world revolving around getting laid only when real life starts to happen and people develop in other ways.

I also think it only really applies when attractive people know they are attractive and we all know that confidence doesn’t actually reflect reality that way.

Popular opinion is that looks drives everything, and I think it opens some doors for sure, but in the end, in the real world, once high school is up, competence, leadership and charisma is what really drives society, both personally and professionally. Those skills are not even close to being developed until after all that high school nonsense is up. People grow A LOT in their twenties. People are also a lot less dumbstruck by beauty when hormones are no longer the primary driving force.

I spend a lot of time with people of all different looks, at work and out of work, and it really doesn’t factor in all that much for most people. Once you know someone who is really attractive, you become numb to their looks because they are soon just ‘Dave’ or ‘Sara,’ same goes for unattractive. Most people, men and women, have quite a low tolerance for bullshit regardless of how pretty you are, unless there is some definite sex as a factor, and there rarely is, and so you won’t get too far trying to ride on looks with a shitty personality. This is what most people find out in college.

[/quote]

I dont know who posted it, but I wish I would because he put it best when he (she?) pointed out that your 20s are a high speed collision with reality.

626

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]Alpha F wrote:
In my experience, however, both men and women that have facial beauty going for them tend to bring less to the table - generally speaking.
Of course, there are exceptions.

People of average looks and or “ugly” tend to cultivate inner qualities to be able to attract a mate: they have to go to “work” just to be seen, as it were.

[/quote]

I don’t know. I think this is true in some cases, but not enough to be a rule. And if it is. it only applies to teenagers and people in their early twenties because most grow out of the world revolving around getting laid only when real life starts to happen and people develop in other ways.

I also think it only really applies when attractive people know they are attractive and we all know that confidence doesn’t actually reflect reality that way.

Popular opinion is that looks drives everything, and I think it opens some doors for sure, but in the end, in the real world, once high school is up, competence, leadership and charisma is what really drives society, both personally and professionally. Those skills are not even close to being developed until after all that high school nonsense is up. People grow A LOT in their twenties. People are also a lot less dumbstruck by beauty when hormones are no longer the primary driving force.

I spend a lot of time with people of all different looks, at work and out of work, and it really doesn’t factor in all that much for most people. Once you know someone who is really attractive, you become numb to their looks because they are soon just ‘Dave’ or ‘Sara,’ same goes for unattractive. Most people, men and women, have quite a low tolerance for bullshit regardless of how pretty you are, unless there is some definite sex as a factor, and there rarely is, and so you won’t get too far trying to ride on looks with a shitty personality. This is what most people find out in college.

[/quote]

I dont know who posted it, but I wish I would because he put it best when he (she?) pointed out that your 20s are a high speed collision with reality. [/quote]

Counting Beans.
[/quote]

Well in that case CB will come in handy in case of Zombiecalypse.

Wait, what?

627

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
If Neph were in the proper age group for me I would absolutely have pursued him when I found myself single.

Because I see definite signs of cocky and funny on these boards. :slight_smile:

[/quote]

While I appreciate the comment, your opinion of me (or anyone on this forum) is a product of selection bias. When I post here, I choose things that interest me, and I comment selectively with as much time as I like to contemplate. If I’ve selected well, my post is reasonably pertinent and contributes some measure of entertainment to the thread. But those posts are not a proxy for real-world conversational skill. They don’t convey that I rarely start interesting conversations, nor that I’m not particularly adept at maintaining one once it has started. If even some of my real-world interactions were to go as well as my best interactions here, you, orion, and AlphaF would have a point. They do not.

I understand that you three have posted to try to help in some way. The posts do not help. They remind me of the disparity between image and reality, and that internet forums are a wholly artificial form of communication, completely alien to the natural order of things.

628

[quote]nephorm wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
If Neph were in the proper age group for me I would absolutely have pursued him when I found myself single.

Because I see definite signs of cocky and funny on these boards. :slight_smile:

[/quote]

While I appreciate the comment, your opinion of me (or anyone on this forum) is a product of selection bias. When I post here, I choose things that interest me, and I comment selectively with as much time as I like to contemplate. If I’ve selected well, my post is reasonably pertinent and contributes some measure of entertainment to the thread. But those posts are not a proxy for real-world conversational skill. They don’t convey that I rarely start interesting conversations, nor that I’m not particularly adept at maintaining one once it has started. If even some of my real-world interactions were to go as well as my best interactions here, you, orion, and AlphaF would have a point. They do not.

I understand that you three have posted to try to help in some way. The posts do not help. They remind me of the disparity between image and reality, and that internet forums are a wholly artificial form of communication, completely alien to the natural order of things.[/quote]

Would you say that this video is a fair representation of your outlook in life?

629

[quote]nephorm wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
If Neph were in the proper age group for me I would absolutely have pursued him when I found myself single.

Because I see definite signs of cocky and funny on these boards. :slight_smile:

[/quote]

While I appreciate the comment, your opinion of me (or anyone on this forum) is a product of selection bias. When I post here, I choose things that interest me, and I comment selectively with as much time as I like to contemplate. If I’ve selected well, my post is reasonably pertinent and contributes some measure of entertainment to the thread. But those posts are not a proxy for real-world conversational skill. They don’t convey that I rarely start interesting conversations, nor that I’m not particularly adept at maintaining one once it has started. If even some of my real-world interactions were to go as well as my best interactions here, you, orion, and AlphaF would have a point. They do not.

I understand that you three have posted to try to help in some way. The posts do not help. They remind me of the disparity between image and reality, and that internet forums are a wholly artificial form of communication, completely alien to the natural order of things.[/quote]

I’m merely reporting the view from where I stand as honestly as I can. I don’t engage in charity for its own sake, I’m not that generous. Perhaps you’re right and you would fall far short in person. I don’t know. But I continue to believe that your anxiety over your well-catalogued shortcomings is your real barrier.

630

[quote]orion wrote:
Would you say that this video is a fair representation of your outlook in life?[/quote]

Perhaps I’m a bit surly after having given online dating another go. Talk about an uneven playing field. It takes rejection to a whole new level.

Even so, my points still stand.

631

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I’m merely reporting the view from where I stand as honestly as I can. I don’t engage in charity for its own sake, I’m not that generous. Perhaps you’re right and you would fall far short in person. I don’t know. But I continue to believe that your anxiety over your well-catalogued shortcomings is your real barrier.
[/quote]

I never said you were being charitable. Just that you suffer from a form of bias, just like everyone else who browses a forum and attempts to form more definite ideas about the people who post there.

Some days and months are better than others. My confidence or happiness at any given point has no correlation with my success.