Take a garden gnome and put it at the front door, knock, watch look of surprise as they look around and see the “little person” standing there.
Not real proud of this one cos it caused damage and was pretty dangerous. Wanker deserved it though. When we were kids we got pissed and thought it a good idea to put a concrete dog on a short straight stretch of road. Drives would stop and do such things as beep and yell “get off the road ya bloody mongrel (It was an expensive & very realistic sculpture)” Then disaster struck, an overloaded car with a drunk driver came flying along at well over the speed limit, slowed briefly then accelerated, trying to run the “dog” over. He completely fucked his radiator. We could hardly hold a straight face as we pretended to assist him. The f#@king wanker had to drive home cos he was breaking two traffic laws and trying to run an animal over anyway.
Tie a sinker to a cane toads leg with fishing line & throw it on the roof. If the roof is tin it will be bloody loud. Not so effective in big cities.
Worksite revenge! A couple of the boys tipped a portaloo over onto the door with this absolute fuckwit inside. He never came back and the investigation came up with nothing (bosses hated him). Just want to make it clear I do not claim responsibility for this one, I just punched his head in twice. Long story
The old bucket of water on top of the door trick.
The old grease on the binoculars at the races trick.
Deliberately cross your mates line and watch as he thinks he’s getting shitloads of bites but can’t hook em.
I started making small bets at a keg party playing badminton against some of my friends until some hot shot thought he could beat me. He lost two hundred dollars and still had no clue that I was a top ten tennis player in the state. Sucks for him
“I bet I can drink 5 mugs of beer before you can drink 3 shots.”
The bet is taken, but with one stipulation:
“Man, I am kind of full, you’ve got to let me drink one mug of beer first before you start.”
No problem
"Also, the only rule is that I can’t touch your glasses and you can’t touch my mugs, that way no one can spill the others drink and win that way.
Once again, no problem.
The gimmick: You drink your mug of beer slowly. When you finish, you slam the mug down over top of one of his shot glasses. He can’t touch it. You finish your beer at your leisure.
Note: This is an asshole bet, as you need to be a pretty good asshole to pull it off. I’ve personally suceeded at this bet 5-6 times, and in every case, the drunken victim wanted to kick my ass,so be ready for that.
If you’re at a bar and you get a shot, and if the shots a little short, then tell the bartender that its so short that you could fit a dollar in there. And if you can, then you get the shot for free. If he/she agrees, shove 10 dimes in the glass, they’re small enough that it usually works.
This is a great way to get $10 outta somebody. Ask them which President (you have to ask which President) is on the $1, $5, $10, and $20. Then say “I’ll bet you the bill that you’re wrong.” Now obviously its Washington, Lincoln, Hamilton, and Jackson. Thing is, Hamilton was never President, he was the first Secretary of State. So since you said “I’ll bet you the bill that you’re wrong” and be sure that its designated which Presidents are on the bills then you’ll get $10 everytime.
If somebody has a bottle of beer, bet them that you can drain all the alcohol out of it without draining any of the beer itself. Find a bucket of water. Put your thumb over the top of the bottle, put the bottle under water and with the bottle upside down and under water, take your thumb off. If you have a clear bucket of water, then you can actually see the alcohol coming out of the beer bottle. Then they’re forced to taste a non-alcoholic beer that tastes like dog piss, and you get $10 or $20.
If a guy is sleeping. Take a handful of flour, and throw it right on his face. Antiquing - works every time. Be sure to take a picture of it because it looks hilarious.
One of the members of our little magic club upon graduating from high school (probably 30 years ago or so) began hanging out at the local bars doing bar bets.
One day one of his friends noticed his nice car, and the fact that he didn’t have a job. He asked how he could afford the car. My friend said, “Bar bets.”
In 2001 I was going to a casino regularly. While it wasn’t far I would stay overnight in the hotel for free every other month. I had at least one free meal each month, and all the money I was gambling with was given to me by the casino in the form of a coupon. I made about a grand that year.
All honestly earned, until they took out the machine with one game that had a very slight advantage over the house. Last year I bet more in 6 months then I earned all year. Haven’t been back in months.
Sturat: What are your skills with a deck of cards? Just counting? Or slight of hand? (Gambling slights tend to be different then magician slights.) How did you learn what you know?
Keep your damn flames to yourselves, this was months ago…
First shot: Me gingerly picking my way to a patch of previously unmolested snow behind the cabin. You can see the snowmobiles in the background (now that was the fun part) and that there’s an average of 2.5 feet of snow with drifts up to 5 feet in some areas.
Here is a very simple joke to do thats kinda funny. If you know someone that has a rinse off hose on the faucet in there kitchen tape the handle on the hose closed. Try this on ur wife or gf sometime its pretty funny. As soon as the water is on the hose will shoot all over them.
How about this for a joke: after telling my ex’s dad that he’s a little bitch and I stuck it in his whore daughter’s ass, they keep calling and hanging up on me. I’m thinking about mailing her dad one of the love letters she sent me. I would of course highlight the part about how great she thought our sex life was and how she thought about my cock all day long. Revenge is sweet.
What are my card skills? Well, I can count fairly well, though at the moment I’m a little out of practice.
When I was really going hard I could:
Riffle stack
Deal: tops, bottoms, second, and bottom second (almost had a greek deal . . .)
False shuffle
False cuts
That’s about it for the gambling related skills, I also of course possessed all the standard magician skills. . .
Plus stupid trick skills like various types of one handed cuts and the like.
SCRUBMD2B: If you do send it, keep us informed and watch the dead list in the papers…maybe pops will burst a vein. Why dont you use call blocker? You wont even hear the thing ring. On the other hand, if you think things will degenerate and go to court, you could use the phone company`s services and log these calls as proof of harassment. Your call! (Pun not intended).
