Hey all. I’m going to be the best man for my buddy’s wedding in late September, but I have no idea what to say. The 2 weddings I’ve attended in my life had very short, uninteresting best man speeches (to be fair, I didn’t know the groom personally at either wedding).
I work as a server for a catering company on the weekends and we mostly do weddings, so I’ve heard a couple there as well. Suffice it to say, only the bad ones are ones that I remember; I generally know what NOT to say. No offensive jokes (had a best man make a joke about the bride’s boobs once, it got 0 laughs), and no long speeches. I’m thinking the cap for me is going to be 2 minutes max.
Right now, I don’t know what to say other than I’m really happy for my friend and his fiance. That’s all. Any help would be greatly appreciated; either things to say, or things not to say. Thanks in advance
I’ve never been a best man and made a speech so take it witha grain of salt, but i find with speeches in general don’t overthink it because it makes it worse.
I would go with this. Just give them your best wishes and talk about it for a bit. Doesnt have to be some long speech
American advice for best man speeches is absolutely baffling to me.
A lot of the guides I read in preparation for the one I did last year were along the lines of: “introduce yourself, say something nice about the couple, make a toast and sit down again” and if you did that at a UK wedding people would assume you’d had a major fight with the couple the night before. You’re meant to be the funny one ffs.
I suppose it depends on your audience, though; I knew the groom’s family and friends well enough to know that I could get away with making the raunchy jokes I did. One referenced the groom losing his virginity and the other was about swinging with the couple. Both went down pretty well - though apparently the bride didn’t understand the second one even after a second and third viewing which helps!
To strongmangoals’ advice, maybe add “tease the groom and praise the bride”. Consider listeners’ ages for any joke/comment. Save best joke for ending to leave everyone laughing. Minimize alcohol before speaking, assuming you want to remain good friends with the groom and bride.
Keep it classy. You’re observation that the pleasant speeches aren’t memorable is exactly how it should be. Nobody sauntering drunkenly home that evening should remember your speech. The party isn’t about you.
Some of the worst Best Man speech’s I’ve sat through have three things in common, 1) they tell inside joke no one gets, 2) they’re trying waaaayy too hard to be funny, 3) they ramble on and on forever.
This is great advice under normal circumstances and I plan to utilize it at another best man speech. However, this isn’t a normal couple who pushes each other to be better. It’s pretty complicated; she’s 19 and he’s 21. He was essentially excommunicated from his family because he wouldn’t break up with her. His mom gave him an ultimatum, and he chose to move out (as an 18 year old) instead of break up with her. He dropped out of college and got a full-time job so he could pay for an apartment for them.
Now, the tensions in that family regarding his relationship with his bride-to-be are extremely high. Additionally, she cheated on him twice in the beginning of their relationship, and I have a good feeling that most, if not all, wedding attendees will know about it.
So I can’t truthfully say that she’s been a positive light in his life after she cheated on him twice and essentially ruined his life financially by pressuring him into getting married 2 months after he turned 21. I also can’t make jokes about anything really, because I don’t know anyone in her family, and his whole family hates her and is going to be on edge about the entire ordeal.
I probably should’ve said this stuff earlier. At my best friend’s wedding when I’m the best man in 5-10 years, I’ll be able to give a fantastic best man speech. He’s my best friend and I’m really good friends with his current girlfriend and future wife, and both of their families have had me over for family parties countless times so they know me and I’ll be able to make some risque jokes. They’ve also had, for the most part, a healthy relationship for almost 3 years now.
So… bearing this stuff in mind, do your opinions/advice about this situation change at all? Should I just bullshit my way through a 2 minute speech and talk about how happy everyone is for them and how much we love them? Am I speaking on behalf of the general audience, or am I speaking my own feelings? Because I’m actually happy for them. I love seeing my friends happy and this is the happiest he’s ever been. And she’s been improving the entire time they’ve been together. So I’m lost… this is a messy situation
“True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend…”
