[quote]mica617 wrote:
As for the “children taking over your life” part- That IS true. And let me tell you, NOTHING fixes a bad day at the office more than your childs face lighting up when you walk in the door, the child screaming “DADDY!”, and tackling you.
Your children take over your life because your priorities change. The rewards far outweigh the sacrifices. Sure, there are moments when you think back about the “good ol’ days” when “life was exciting”. But in reality, they were never any more exciting than watching your children grow and learn, knowing that YOU played the biggest role in them “turning that corner”. (you parents out there know what I’m talking about)[/quote]
Michele is right on the money - don’t get married until you are older and more mature. I’m talking 30-35 years old here. Get all the wildness out of your system first. Speaking as a formerly anti-marriage kind of guy, I have had a better life since I got married 15 years ago. Just be smart about who you choose. Approximately 1/2 the population of this country was not, as evidenced by the divorce rate. Also, don’t f-ing have children if you’re not going to raise them responsibly. Our jails are already full.
This thread was very interesting for me to read. I’m against marriage for a myriad of deeply philosophical reasons (that makes me sound like a smart ass but it’s true!) I agree with much of what was written here, but, like some others, I do not feel that marriage is a prerequisite for it. However, I’m not well informed regarding the legal benefits of being married, so I’ll hold off final judgement of it for now.
The actual marriage part is purely symbolic. If you have a good relationship, marriage shouldn’t make it any worse, just the same as it shouldn’t make a bad relationship any better. Marriage is just a box. What you put into it will determine how valuable it is to you.
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Are you married?
The actual marriage is more than symbolic. The marriage itself is a living, breathing thing. I’m not sure how to expand on this, but I know in my heart it’s true. You have to feed it, care for it. It is your word, and all of your worth. It is more than your relationship with your wife. Your relationship with your wife can be ice cold at times, but your marriage can still be rock solid.
There is no way to duplicate that level of commitment. You can’t say that you can have all of the benefits of marriage without being married. If your word and your vow means anything, being married cannot in any way be compared to “dating”.
The actual marriage part is purely symbolic. If you have a good relationship, marriage shouldn’t make it any worse, just the same as it shouldn’t make a bad relationship any better. Marriage is just a box. What you put into it will determine how valuable it is to you.
Are you married?
The actual marriage is more than symbolic. The marriage itself is a living, breathing thing. I’m not sure how to expand on this, but I know in my heart it’s true. You have to feed it, care for it. It is your word, and all of your worth. It is more than your relationship with your wife. Your relationship with your wife can be ice cold at times, but your marriage can still be rock solid.
There is no way to duplicate that level of commitment. You can’t say that you can have all of the benefits of marriage without being married. If your word and your vow means anything, being married cannot in any way be compared to “dating”.
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Yes, I’m married. I’m very happily married. I take my vows of marriage very seriously. The act of taking these vows was purely symbolic for me because I already lived my life with the devotion and respect to my wife that the vows spoke of. I did not love my wife anymore after I was married, just the same as I did not expect any more of her. If you are going to get married, you should already have that kind of relationship.
People expect to get married, wake up the next morning and everything to be perfect. The next morning, you and your wife will be the same people you were and you will have to work as hard to make things work. Shit starts to fall apart when people think “I’m married now. I can’t do that”. Like I said, getting married shouldn’t change who you are. If you are getting married because you love each other and have a loving caring relationship, why would you change that after you get married?
I got married a few months ago, and its not a whole lot different than when we were just living together as bf/gf. I really dig being married though. The advice out there of making that person your best friend is right on. You gotta have someone you are happy with, even if there is nothing to do but just sit around. Being older I think is also good advice, as Michelle said. I also highly recommend someone who makes roughly the same amount of money as you do and 3 seperate checking accounts: one yours, one hers, and one joint. All the bills/expenses come out of the joint account but you each also have your own $$$ to go spend on your individual stuff.