I have to make this fast, too much homework to do.
I like coming home, knowing that there is someone waiting there who cares about me and my day. And you can have sex with that person too.
- Sex
- Sex without fear of pregnancy
- Sex without fear of disease
- Sex without a condom
- Wake up with your favorite lady forever
- Someone to share most things with (nobody can share everything with just one person)
- Someone on your side, every time, no matter what.
and the big one…
- Knowing that when I come home at the end of the day there is someone that loves me on the other side of the door listening for my footsteps.
Married the love of my life 23 years ago, and have never regreted it, not once. I have plenty of single friends, and not one of them has anything close to what we have, posts above not withstanding.
" heads may roll, but the hands don’t let go"
If you want to be happy for the rest of your life…
Never make a pretty woman your wife.
Unfortunately, I know some ugly women who have made their husbands very, very unhappy.
[quote]wtf wrote:
If you want to be happy for the rest of your life…
Never make a pretty woman your wife.
[/quote]
To glean the obvious from reading the responses here, to get the benefits of marriage you need to have a good marriage.
To attempt a mini-thread-hijack, do any of you successful husbands have any words of wisdom on how to attain a good marriage for one about to take the plunge (aside from picking the “right” woman, which is a given)?
There are really no ‘benifits’ to ‘marriage’ except: loans, taxes, having children, health and life insurance. Fear of a messy divorce keeps some people together too long.
Two people can be life-long committed without these benefits marriage. But I can’t understand why the gov. still insists on meddling with gays being married. I think they should have the same legal benefits.
(note: i am heterosexual)
marriage doesn’t equal you being happy. You make you happy !
[quote]BostonBarrister wrote:
To glean the obvious from reading the responses here, to get the benefits of marriage you need to have a good marriage.
To attempt a mini-thread-hijack, do any of you successful husbands have any words of wisdom on how to attain a good marriage for one about to take the plunge (aside from picking the “right” woman, which is a given)?[/quote]
I’ve been married 23 years–all of them good, some of them awesome! When I am asked my secret for a happy marriage, I say: “When we disagree about something, we always talk about it…then do things her way.”
My wife overhead me say that one time and punched me in the arm–hard. I love her playful side!
All kidding aside, I think the key to a successful marriage is you must want it more than anything else in the whole world. Never give up on it. Be willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. (Now that I think about it, isn’t that the key to success in everything?)
[quote]hankr wrote:
- Sex
- Sex without fear of pregnancy
- Sex without fear of disease
- Sex without a condom
- Wake up with your favorite lady forever
- Someone to share most things with (nobody can share everything with just one person)
- Someone on your side, every time, no matter what.
and the big one…
- Knowing that when I come home at the end of the day there is someone that loves me on the other side of the door listening for my footsteps.
[/quote]
Couldn’t you get the same from a dog?
[quote]BostonBarrister wrote:
To glean the obvious from reading the responses here, to get the benefits of marriage you need to have a good marriage.
To attempt a mini-thread-hijack, do any of you successful husbands have any words of wisdom on how to attain a good marriage for one about to take the plunge (aside from picking the “right” woman, which is a given)?[/quote]
This is what I did. I’m not saying it will work for everyone, but it’s done me good for 14 years.
When you get home from your honeymoon, and you get settled into your apartment/house/whatever - one night out of the blue, for no reason - just beat the holy hell out of her. She’ll do whatever you say for the rest of her life.
I’ll have been married 6 years this Friday (April Fools Day). I highly recommend knocking her up first. This puts everything into perspective really fast.
Geeeez- I didn’t mean to kill the thread. I was joking just in case I offended anyone.
Whoops. I’ve got some apologizing to do. (And right now I’m busy trying to come up with stories for the neighbors.)
Okay that was awful. Just kidding obviously.
[quote]rainjack wrote:
Geeeez- I didn’t mean to kill the thread. I was joking just in case I offended anyone.[/quote]
[quote]rainjack wrote:
Geeeez- I didn’t mean to kill the thread. I was joking just in case I offended anyone.[/quote]
Now you tell me!
Anyone know how to cover up a few black eyes?
[quote]wtf wrote:
Now you tell me!
Anyone know how to cover up a few black eyes?[/quote]
Raw steak.
rainjack -
Grandma just called and said you’re supposed to go home. She said she doesn’t want you here when she gets back because you’ve been ruining everybody’s lives and eating all our steak.
Now for the marriage thing. The most important thing to remember going into it is that like any other successful endeavor, it takes work.
A lot of people have these rosy fantasies of what married life will be like. It ain’t happening. It takes compromise and sacrifice. Be selfless. If each person thinks of the other first, a lot of problems will be avoided.
I’m 25, been married 5 years and have 3 kids. Being a father and husband is simultaneously very challenging and very rewarding. But there are definately far more good times than bad.
People like Steve LET their situation happen. Don’t just let things in life happen to you. Take charge and make life (and marriage) what you want it to be. But you and your spouse have to work at it - together.
My .02:
Like Mufasa was talking about, the main thing in a good marriage is friendship. That in-love feeling does go away after the first year or two, but the friendship is what will be left afterwards. If you don’t have that, you’re screwed. If you’re marrying someone because you’re PW’ed, you’re going to wind up miserable.
Find someone who you like as a person (not just because you’re lusting after her), genuinely cares about other people (that’s a pretty good indicator that she’ll care about YOU), and someone you can have fun with. My wife and I have completely opposite personalities, but our marriage is awesome because we balance each other out.
If you can find someone who is your best friend (and will be after the “in-love” phase is over), marriage is worth it. If not, keep looking.
BTW, if she nags or whines a lot, kick her to the curb.
When I was single and dating I had a very simple rule if we had any arguments, other than trivial crap, within the first three months the relationship was terminated.
My wife and I made it past the three month trial period, barely I might add. The one simple rule that we have now is no one goes to bed angry and no problems are left unresolved until the morning. Oh and she always gets her way. Thats why I had to tile my kitchen and dining room in my spare time from working 60 hr weeks. Wonder whats in store next week!
We are best friends
We shower together every morning.
She always puts my toothpaste on my toothbrush.
We support each other.
She made me go to the dentist two months ago after a 18 year hiatus. No cavities either!
One more thing, when she is complaining about stuff dont offer advice on how to make it better just listen and agree!
[quote]BostonBarrister wrote:
do any of you successful husbands have any words of wisdom on how to attain a good marriage for one about to take the plunge (aside from picking the “right” woman, which is a given)?[/quote]
Don’t introduce her as your first wife. Mine doesn’t like that at all.
The first thing I would tell you is to not get married before the age of 30. I can’t tell you how many people I talk to that went through many changes in their 20s, including myself. I believe that marriage can be great with the right person. I got married in my early 20s and divorced before I was 30. It was your ‘typical’ marriage…good at first, then bad, then worse, then impossible. Had I listened to my inner self from the beginning, I would have never married him. After ending it with my husband I pretty much vowed to never marry again…until meeting my current bf. Of course at the beginning of our relationship(bf), my thoughts on marriage stayed the same…and even now I don’t ‘have’ to be married to be happy. I think many people get married for the wrong reasons and they marry the wrong person on top of that.
I feel you should get married when you know you could be just as content and happy with your partner if you never married them at all…
I won’t tell you to marry or not marry. I will tell you to look for your soulmate or something very close to that. Make sure you have compatibility, share many of the same interests. Communication should flow effortlessly and willingly. You should know their desires/goals for the present and the future, with the understanding that at any time those could change. You should be sexually compatible in every way…this also falls into the communication category…you should be able to be completely open and honest about everything and anything sexual. You should enjoy being around them…even when it’s doing nothing.
It would take all day to highlight all the information/opinions on creating a successful marriage…these are only a few things. It also helps if there is no jealousy and both feel secure in the relationship and that she has an understanding that the male species was not meant to be sexually monogomous…but that’s another thread, I’m sure…
[quote]michelle69 wrote:
The first thing I would tell you is to not get married before the age of 30.
Respectfully snipped.
[/quote]
Michelle, I’m going to have to disagree wholeheartedly with that. What I would tell people is that there is no rush to get married, but putting an age limit on it is just silly.
The actual marriage part is purely symbolic. If you have a good relationship, marriage shouldn’t make it any worse, just the same as it shouldn’t make a bad relationship any better. Marriage is just a box. What you put into it will determine how valuable it is to you.
As for the Steve column that TC wrote: Steve was a pussy and deserved everything he got. It wasn’t marriage that made him that way, it was his lack of testicles. His life would have been like that whether he married or not.