[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
I tried to cut off my feet when I was 4 because I was probably almost 5’ tall at the time and every thought I was a mutant giant or 15 years old. No kids my age would play with me because I scared them (or scared their parents, more likely). I had to sit down when everyone stood up in my 2nd grade class picture.
[/quote]
Holy shit. 5 feet? 4 years old?
Wtf.
Good luck and God bless you in your journey.
So…are your numbers suffering because of the hormones…do you plan on still lifting weights…or will it possibly make you look too manly.
Not going to lie, having met a transgender (MTF) in prison that was still going through the transition, I am weirded out by it. Probably has to do with first impressions I guess.
Probably taking the unpopular side, but I see this as being due to a hormonal/genetic imbalance in the individual, like you said that the hormone therapy made you feel better because it’s giving you the hormonal profile of a female which is more aligned with your biology.
But you still have a (dysfunctional??) Y chromosome, so to me you’ll always be a male, at least biologically speaking. I don’t think any one can run away from their genes. Continuing with the hormonal imbalance issue, I think it would be worth looking into why you are or feel “wired” differently and addressing it from that perspective. Like solving what is dysfunctional regarding your Y chromosome.
Hope it doesn’t sound like I’m shitting on you or anything. I’m glad you’re open and honest about it, as that makes it easier for you and the people in your life. I don’t agree with transgender people being dishonest about their past, or trying to deceive people. That causes harm, so as I’ve stated, I appreciate that you’re being up front with your partner and it’s good for you that she is cool with it.
[quote]magick wrote:
[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
I tried to cut off my feet when I was 4 because I was probably almost 5’ tall at the time and every thought I was a mutant giant or 15 years old. No kids my age would play with me because I scared them (or scared their parents, more likely). I had to sit down when everyone stood up in my 2nd grade class picture.
[/quote]
Holy shit. 5 feet? 4 years old?
Wtf.[/quote]
I don’t have the exact numbers, so that is probably hyperbole at that age, but I am, as of my doctor’s visit 2 days ago 6’11.5 inchs tall, which means I either grew an inch or stood up straighter than when I was in the Army.
Aside from not fitting into ANYTHING (clothes, cars, shoes, doorframes), it’s a LOT better now, and doesn’t compare to what OP is going through, but I was always been treated as a freak growing up.
Junior high I was (no hyperbole) way over 6 feet and probably 120lbs soaking wet. Looked like a giant spider, all legs and arms.
In fact, the kids used to call me “spider” because I was all cramped up in the stupid desks they gave us. My knees would come up over the little writing desk. Added to it, my pants never fit, so I had skinny brown legs sticking out.
Anyway, my point is everyone is different, and people will single out that difference and treat you like shit because of it.
So, just grin and bear it, OP. Everyone has a cross to carry.
People just happen to be able to see yours.
I had a professor in undergraduate that made the switch from male to female. I didn’t know this at the time.
This individual was an officer in the Air Force, where this is typically not acceptable, somehow managed to be identified dressed as a female in a church of all places. Of course this is a bit abnormal for the military so there was a bit of a scandal, some law suits and ugliness I think, but he at the time managed to finish his air force career, with an honorable discharge, then got surgery to transform completely.
She ended up a well respected professor and taught well. I found out about it later and was kind of blown away.
The moral of the story is that despite some ugliness, trials, and tribulations there was a happy ending.
You gotta be happy at the end of the day, and those who truly give a shit about you will be there to support you. Everyone else can go take a flying fuck.
[quote]MattyG35 wrote:
Not going to lie, having met a transgender (MTF) in prison that was still going through the transition, I am weirded out by it. Probably has to do with first impressions I guess.
Probably taking the unpopular side, but I see this as being due to a hormonal/genetic imbalance in the individual, like you said that the hormone therapy made you feel better because it’s giving you the hormonal profile of a female which is more aligned with your biology.
But you still have a (dysfunctional??) Y chromosome, so to me you’ll always be a male, at least biologically speaking. I don’t think any one can run away from their genes. Continuing with the hormonal imbalance issue, I think it would be worth looking into why you are or feel “wired” differently and addressing it from that perspective. Like solving what is dysfunctional regarding your Y chromosome.
Hope it doesn’t sound like I’m shitting on you or anything. I’m glad you’re open and honest about it, as that makes it easier for you and the people in your life. I don’t agree with transgender people being dishonest about their past, or trying to deceive people. That causes harm, so as I’ve stated, I appreciate that you’re being up front with your partner and it’s good for you that she is cool with it.
[/quote]
well it’s a lot more complicated than simple XY and XX (keep in mind there are XX men and XY women). Biological sex (aka having a penis and testes) is determined by whether or not you have a functioning SRY region (Sex Determining Region Y). Essentially the problem is the “wiring” of the brain which is according to studies done on it already determined before the pregnancy is done. After that there is no possibility to change it. In short what happens is during pregnancy the fetus receives hormonal washes that signal to activate specific genes and develop accordingly. In sexually dimorphic areas (such as the brain and the gonads) there is a difference between the sexes so a hormonal wash has different effects, what is believed to happen is the hormonal wash for the brain isn’t aligned with the “body” hormone wash. What you end up with is a female brain in a male body to grossly oversimplify things. From here on there are two options fix the body (hormones and surgery both fairly well studied and known) or try and alter the brain. At this point we have absolutely no clue about the brain so trying to align the brain is pretty much a guarantee to screw up.
I can attest to the fact that it is not fun at all to be like this, it’s tough allround and makes life even harder but there is no other way to overcome the massive dissonance between body and mind. Also I understand it’s hard for people to comprehend but if you don’t feel this way I can’t describe it to you, most people never even think about their gender and how their bodies match because it is aligned and therefor not a problem. I feel like you’re lucky to feel that way since I don’t have that security.
Just as an aside, pretty much anyone in prison is going to be more LIKELY to be sketchy.
Also I am not offended or anything just having good conversation
[quote]theuofh wrote:
I had a professor in undergraduate that made the switch from male to female. I didn’t know this at the time.
This individual was an officer in the Air Force, where this is typically not acceptable, somehow managed to be identified dressed as a female in a church of all places. Of course this is a bit abnormal for the military so there was a bit of a scandal, some law suits and ugliness I think, but he at the time managed to finish his air force career, with an honorable discharge, then got surgery to transform completely.
She ended up a well respected professor and taught well. I found out about it later and was kind of blown away.
The moral of the story is that despite some ugliness, trials, and tribulations there was a happy ending.
[/quote]
There is actually a lot of stories coming from former soldiers in the navy, marines, army and even seals. Not surprising as a lot of people seem to seek out a hyper masculine environment to distract/attempt to cure themselves from it. Every single case I’ve heard of was unsuccessful.
[quote]rehanb_bl wrote:
[quote]MattyG35 wrote:
Not going to lie, having met a transgender (MTF) in prison that was still going through the transition, I am weirded out by it. Probably has to do with first impressions I guess.
Probably taking the unpopular side, but I see this as being due to a hormonal/genetic imbalance in the individual, like you said that the hormone therapy made you feel better because it’s giving you the hormonal profile of a female which is more aligned with your biology.
But you still have a (dysfunctional??) Y chromosome, so to me you’ll always be a male, at least biologically speaking. I don’t think any one can run away from their genes. Continuing with the hormonal imbalance issue, I think it would be worth looking into why you are or feel “wired” differently and addressing it from that perspective. Like solving what is dysfunctional regarding your Y chromosome.
Hope it doesn’t sound like I’m shitting on you or anything. I’m glad you’re open and honest about it, as that makes it easier for you and the people in your life. I don’t agree with transgender people being dishonest about their past, or trying to deceive people. That causes harm, so as I’ve stated, I appreciate that you’re being up front with your partner and it’s good for you that she is cool with it.
[/quote]
well it’s a lot more complicated than simple XY and XX (keep in mind there are XX men and XY women). Biological sex (aka having a penis and testes) is determined by whether or not you have a functioning SRY region (Sex Determining Region Y). Essentially the problem is the “wiring” of the brain which is according to studies done on it already determined before the pregnancy is done. After that there is no possibility to change it. In short what happens is during pregnancy the fetus receives hormonal washes that signal to activate specific genes and develop accordingly. In sexually dimorphic areas (such as the brain and the gonads) there is a difference between the sexes so a hormonal wash has different effects, what is believed to happen is the hormonal wash for the brain isn’t aligned with the “body” hormone wash. What you end up with is a female brain in a male body to grossly oversimplify things. From here on there are two options fix the body (hormones and surgery both fairly well studied and known) or try and alter the brain. At this point we have absolutely no clue about the brain so trying to align the brain is pretty much a guarantee to screw up.
I can attest to the fact that it is not fun at all to be like this, it’s tough allround and makes life even harder but there is no other way to overcome the massive dissonance between body and mind. Also I understand it’s hard for people to comprehend but if you don’t feel this way I can’t describe it to you, most people never even think about their gender and how their bodies match because it is aligned and therefor not a problem. I feel like you’re lucky to feel that way since I don’t have that security.
Just as an aside, pretty much anyone in prison is going to be more LIKELY to be sketchy.
Also I am not offended or anything just having good conversation[/quote]
That is pretty interesting I didn’t know there was a large biological stemming source at play, In Thailand transgenders are far more common because in that culture Buddhists do not adhere as strictly to the idea of body/mind identity, or “false self” also culturally a much higher acceptance rate, It may actually be there are more transgenders then people care to think in our own culture that may just have a hard time being open about it because of fear of what others might think.
I did hear about that SEAL, she actually wrote a book called Warrior Princess discussing her challenges and the times spent in the teams and deployed.
[quote]rehanb_bl wrote:
[quote]MattyG35 wrote:
Not going to lie, having met a transgender (MTF) in prison that was still going through the transition, I am weirded out by it. Probably has to do with first impressions I guess.
Probably taking the unpopular side, but I see this as being due to a hormonal/genetic imbalance in the individual, like you said that the hormone therapy made you feel better because it’s giving you the hormonal profile of a female which is more aligned with your biology.
But you still have a (dysfunctional??) Y chromosome, so to me you’ll always be a male, at least biologically speaking. I don’t think any one can run away from their genes. Continuing with the hormonal imbalance issue, I think it would be worth looking into why you are or feel “wired” differently and addressing it from that perspective. Like solving what is dysfunctional regarding your Y chromosome.
Hope it doesn’t sound like I’m shitting on you or anything. I’m glad you’re open and honest about it, as that makes it easier for you and the people in your life. I don’t agree with transgender people being dishonest about their past, or trying to deceive people. That causes harm, so as I’ve stated, I appreciate that you’re being up front with your partner and it’s good for you that she is cool with it.
[/quote]
well it’s a lot more complicated than simple XY and XX (keep in mind there are XX men and XY women). Biological sex (aka having a penis and testes) is determined by whether or not you have a functioning SRY region (Sex Determining Region Y). Essentially the problem is the “wiring” of the brain which is according to studies done on it already determined before the pregnancy is done. After that there is no possibility to change it. In short what happens is during pregnancy the fetus receives hormonal washes that signal to activate specific genes and develop accordingly. In sexually dimorphic areas (such as the brain and the gonads) there is a difference between the sexes so a hormonal wash has different effects, what is believed to happen is the hormonal wash for the brain isn’t aligned with the “body” hormone wash. What you end up with is a female brain in a male body to grossly oversimplify things. From here on there are two options fix the body (hormones and surgery both fairly well studied and known) or try and alter the brain. At this point we have absolutely no clue about the brain so trying to align the brain is pretty much a guarantee to screw up.
I can attest to the fact that it is not fun at all to be like this, it’s tough allround and makes life even harder but there is no other way to overcome the massive dissonance between body and mind. Also I understand it’s hard for people to comprehend but if you don’t feel this way I can’t describe it to you, most people never even think about their gender and how their bodies match because it is aligned and therefor not a problem. I feel like you’re lucky to feel that way since I don’t have that security.
Just as an aside, pretty much anyone in prison is going to be more LIKELY to be sketchy.
Also I am not offended or anything just having good conversation[/quote]
Thank you for providing more insight into your physiological condition, I was unaware of the different “washes” that you mentioned, but that puts it into better perspective for me.
Good luck heading forward.
[quote]rehanb_bl wrote:
[quote]theuofh wrote:
I had a professor in undergraduate that made the switch from male to female. I didn’t know this at the time.
This individual was an officer in the Air Force, where this is typically not acceptable, somehow managed to be identified dressed as a female in a church of all places. Of course this is a bit abnormal for the military so there was a bit of a scandal, some law suits and ugliness I think, but he at the time managed to finish his air force career, with an honorable discharge, then got surgery to transform completely.
She ended up a well respected professor and taught well. I found out about it later and was kind of blown away.
The moral of the story is that despite some ugliness, trials, and tribulations there was a happy ending.
[/quote]
There is actually a lot of stories coming from former soldiers in the navy, marines, army and even seals. Not surprising as a lot of people seem to seek out a hyper masculine environment to distract/attempt to cure themselves from it. Every single case I’ve heard of was unsuccessful.[/quote]
Sounds like that would exacerbate the issue by creating an even greater divide with respect to the hormonal(?) difference of the brain and body.
[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
Anyway, my point is everyone is different, and people will single out that difference and treat you like shit because of it.
So, just grin and bear it, OP. Everyone has a cross to carry.
People just happen to be able to see yours.[/quote]
That is something that I can use for sure!
You must feel unique being so tall and big but there are two ways you can play it out OWN it or be OWNED by it. Plus I’m pretty sure it gets the ladies attention much more than the average guy.
I am going to try my hardest to do the best I can.
[quote]rehanb_bl wrote:
[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
Anyway, my point is everyone is different, and people will single out that difference and treat you like shit because of it.
So, just grin and bear it, OP. Everyone has a cross to carry.
People just happen to be able to see yours.[/quote]
That is something that I can use for sure!
You must feel unique being so tall and big but there are two ways you can play it out OWN it or be OWNED by it. Plus I’m pretty sure it gets the ladies attention much more than the average guy.
I am going to try my hardest to do the best I can.[/quote]
Well, I am still pretty gangly-looking (despite some pretty impressive cycles), but yes, it is nice to be big NOW. Most of the time. And yes, in a crowd of 100 girls, there are 10 with a “tall guy fetish.” And they are generally athletic and good looking. 
But growing up – from as little as I can remember to probably to boot camp where I came into my own, it was pretty miserable.
So, that’s kind of my second point: just get through it, and it will be better.
Especially during this in-between phase. You’re going to look weird as fuck; no sugar-coating it.
On a different note, I would go store up some sperm and freeze it. I’d hate for you not to have kids.
[quote]MattyG35 wrote:
Not going to lie, having met a transgender (MTF) in prison that was still going through the transition, I am weirded out by it. Probably has to do with first impressions I guess.
Probably taking the unpopular side, but I see this as being due to a hormonal/genetic imbalance in the individual, like you said that the hormone therapy made you feel better because it’s giving you the hormonal profile of a female which is more aligned with your biology.
But you still have a (dysfunctional??) Y chromosome, so to me you’ll always be a male, at least biologically speaking. I don’t think any one can run away from their genes. Continuing with the hormonal imbalance issue, I think it would be worth looking into why you are or feel “wired” differently and addressing it from that perspective. Like solving what is dysfunctional regarding your Y chromosome.
Hope it doesn’t sound like I’m shitting on you or anything. I’m glad you’re open and honest about it, as that makes it easier for you and the people in your life. I don’t agree with transgender people being dishonest about their past, or trying to deceive people. That causes harm, so as I’ve stated, I appreciate that you’re being up front with your partner and it’s good for you that she is cool with it.
[/quote]
I agree. I think it’s some sort of mental illness or genetic defect just waiting to be discovered and cured.
I think it’s kind of odd that people are supportive of this kind of behavior, yet I doubt most guys would be open to dating a transsexual woman and would probably be pissed if they found out some girl they made out with or were dating was a tranny. I kind of doubt they’d be open about it since they think they should be treated just like any other woman.
It’s also kind of ironic this thread is on this forum, called T-Nation, but here we have a guy talking about taking female hormones and cutting off his balls to become a woman.
[quote]Babylat wrote:
[quote]MattyG35 wrote:
Not going to lie, having met a transgender (MTF) in prison that was still going through the transition, I am weirded out by it. Probably has to do with first impressions I guess.
Probably taking the unpopular side, but I see this as being due to a hormonal/genetic imbalance in the individual, like you said that the hormone therapy made you feel better because it’s giving you the hormonal profile of a female which is more aligned with your biology.
But you still have a (dysfunctional??) Y chromosome, so to me you’ll always be a male, at least biologically speaking. I don’t think any one can run away from their genes. Continuing with the hormonal imbalance issue, I think it would be worth looking into why you are or feel “wired” differently and addressing it from that perspective. Like solving what is dysfunctional regarding your Y chromosome.
Hope it doesn’t sound like I’m shitting on you or anything. I’m glad you’re open and honest about it, as that makes it easier for you and the people in your life. I don’t agree with transgender people being dishonest about their past, or trying to deceive people. That causes harm, so as I’ve stated, I appreciate that you’re being up front with your partner and it’s good for you that she is cool with it.
[/quote]
I agree. I think it’s some sort of mental illness or genetic defect just waiting to be discovered and cured.
I think it’s kind of odd that people are supportive of this kind of behavior, yet I doubt most guys would be open to dating a transsexual woman and would probably be pissed if they found out some girl they made out with or were dating was a tranny. I kind of doubt they’d be open about it since they think they should be treated just like any other woman.
It’s also kind of ironic this thread is on this forum, called T-Nation, but here we have a guy talking about taking female hormones and cutting off his balls to become a woman.[/quote]
dickhead.
Just thought I’d leave this here:
“Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.”
Good luck and stay strong.
For what it’s worth, I don’t care. As long as someone is basically a good person they are fine by me regardless of their gender orientation/identity.
If it’s not too much to ask, I’d like to hear more about your relationship with your fiancé. In my opinion, she is the only one who really has a right to take issue with the course you are taking. She is having to become a lesbian! Are you going to lose the penis and if so, how does she feel about that?
By the way, I had the same thought as TTR about visiting the sperm bank before you go too far. Actually, if you’ve started hormone treatment, you should bank the sperm now if you haven’t already done so.
[quote]on edge wrote:
For what it’s worth, I don’t care. As long as someone is basically a good person they are fine by me regardless of their gender orientation/identity.
If it’s not too much to ask, I’d like to hear more about your relationship with your fiancé. In my opinion, she is the only one who really has a right to take issue with the course you are taking. She is having to become a lesbian! Are you going to lose the penis and if so, how does she feel about that?
By the way, I had the same thought as TTR about visiting the sperm bank before you go too far. Actually, if you’ve started hormone treatment, you should bank the sperm now if you haven’t already done so.[/quote]
Yeh, neither of us want kids but I’m freezing gametes all the same just to be safe. She was always pretty bisexual to start with but she said the qualities that attracted her to me were the more feminine ones so she’s even happier now.
As TTR said the in between phase is for sure going to be awkward as fuck but gotta do what you gotta do
So far everyone at the gym is super supportive and most importantly the owner and friend of mine. Honestly I think it’s something that other people can use as a situation to grow themselves as people since it’s such a strong challenge of “convention”. I also like to talk about it and answer questions it helps other people as much as it helps me.
Haha Babylat, I understand you are still very insecure and your well being and self acceptance depends on others hopefully that will change for you soon. I mean it in the nicest sincerest way.
Very brave of you to come out like this, even with the relative anonymity of the internet.
I hope you get all the support you need from those who love you. Like the others have said, you’ve got one life to live so make it count.
Good luck.