charlotte to carrie:
carrie, have you seen my pregnancy hormones?
Drugs, What Drugs? Just because I have four nipples you accuse me of taking drugs
Bill Phillips denies reports of modelling for Energy Magazine to boost sales of final issue.
Chris Shugart:
“About an hour ago, I got called into a meeting with Tim and TC. I can’t tell you what all was discussed, but I can say this: I’m stunned. I’m flabbergasted. I’ve been shocked and awed. And I had to type something before I popped.”
“Let me put it this way: in a couple of weeks (if that long) you’re going to freak the f*#k out. Maybe in a bad way. Maybe in a good way. I’m just preparing you.”
“Who’s yer daddy, bitch?” Slap, slap…
…and don’t miss next week’s “Where Are They Now?” when we feature David Lee Roth.
Miss America shows why we should all eat Organic food.
…all the way to my balls, and that’s another thing I wanted to talk about, doc.
“The nation is rising” says Tim Patterson as he models the new T-Mag office attire during last week’s staff meeting.
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The courts have decided upon Rick James’ punishment.
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“Why on earth do you need Viagra?”
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“Come here honey…I’ll be gentle…I shave my testicles all the time!”
“We’re sorry, but there are certain, um, qualities we’re looking for in our Budwieser Clydesdales, and well, you’re just too damn big…”
After the picture of Kobe Bryant’s accuser was finally released, the state immediately dropped the case. It became obvious that if anyone got raped, it was Kobe.
THE NEW BIRTH CONTROL! READ ABOUT IT!!
This swimsuit model took the wrong pill.
She took WAY too much TRIBEX!!
Fortunately, it still works as birth control, since she’s so hopped up on testosterone.
*Side Effect: The guys won’t really “dig” you anymore.
I’m just doing this to pay my way through college.
In order to get more work in Hollywood, Eric Roberts decided to get a sex-change operation…to become a MAN!
Biotest’s Poster Child for their New Alpha-Male!
TC’s revelation that he has an uber-secretive picture of Bill Phillip’s “girlfriend” comes back to bite him in the ass when she comes to collect.
My balls itch.
Russia’s Chernobyl Beach Diet Winner
In an effort to save some cash, Jimmy borrowed his sons homemade chemistry set to try a new Anti-E formula he found on the internet. NOW, he thinks this was a bad idea…