Bar Fights

Off Topic
41

At this one bar i was at in Charlotte a year ago, a guy leaned over the bar and grabbed the bartender’s tata’s, while his friends started taking pictures. Before the bouncers could get there, she picked up the little utility knife thing and jams it in his forearm. Blood went everywhere, he ran out with the thing still lodged in his arm, the bouncers threw out the friends.

In high school I went to a party with a friend at this girl’s mansion in northern Virginia. Everyone’s having a good time, when a bunch of Vietnamese gangbangers from their school walk in. No one says anything until they start pushing around a couple kids. My friend says that if we can somehow resolve this, we’ll probably get some ass…so naturally we recruit a random biker-looking guy, and now have a potential 8 on 3…Right before we’re about to jump’em from behind and hopefully make it a quick 5 on 3, this tiny little kid, stereotypical nerd with thick glasses and corduroy pants, runs out of a back room.

This is one of the kids who’d been pushed around before. He runs between us screaming his head off, and starts swinging a golf club (it was actually his house, big sis let her 13 yr old brother come). He’s swinging for the head, and before too long a couple guys are out cold, there’s teeth on the floor, and two guys who tried to run out got stomped by half the baseball team who was there. They were dragged out and left at the foot of the driveway, 3 hours later when the party broke up they were gone.

I spent a couple weeks last summer on Long Island with some Red Sox fans and got into enough barfights that they all ran together.

42

I wouldn’t consider this a bar fight but here go’s…

I love my friend like a brother. He’s 5’ 10", 238 lbs and was 30 years-old at the time. Unfortunately he’s shy and never stands up for himself. Anyway, like all white trash, this, “one”, guy terrozied my friend for around two years or so. He’s beat-up my friend, on a couple of occasions, and bashed his driver’s side window-in on another. We shall refer to this white trash fucker as; “dick-head”, for the remainder of this little tale.

So being the caring, nurturing, friend I am, I devised a little plan and setup a scenario starring, “The Dick-head”…

Don’t try this at home kids:

We knew where dick-head worked and decided to give him a visit. This guy was an aspiring mechanic and worked late, even after everybody went home. Oh… I was so anxious my hands were shaking with nervous excitement! This little shack dick-head worked at was five miles from town, off of a service county road, and leads to a major highway. How more perfect could this get!

So we decided to let the air out of, not one, but all four of his truck tires! This place had a phone so we couldn’t have that… So I cut the JK wire leading from the top of the shack’s roof to the wooden telephone pole. We don’t want dick-head to call the cops or his other buddies now do we!!!

We grabbed our “Louisvilles” and patiently waited for the opportune time to strike. We waited, and waited… Finally, at around 10:30 he turned off the inside lights, came outside and closed the garage door and locked it. We were squated down waiting behind his truck and another car parked beside him. The only thing at this point, that was bugging the ever living shit out of me, was the damn light shining from the garage door to the truck where we were stationed at about 40 feet away. It made it virtually impossible to sneak around the driver’s side door without being noticed. Shadows and all…

Anyway, 40 feet, 30 feet, this guy was getting closer and my heart felt like it was ripping out of my chest! 20 feet, 10 feet, man what have I got myself into this time! This is insane! I looked across from me to see what my friend was doing but he was gone! WTF! By this time dick-head was right up to the driver’s side door and I was still in a shitty, well lit, spotlight! Out of nowhere I hear, “Hey asshole!” I looked up, and around the the front of dick-head’s truck, was my friend walking up to him.

At this time I fully understood the meaning of fight-or-flight! I sprung up and yelled something along the lines of, “Hey fucker”! Right when I said that, dick-head looked back across at me… “CRACK”!!! Dick-head falls like a limp noodle. Did I run over to defend my friend, yes I did. Did I need to? Apparently not… Dick-head wasn’t very spunky anymore after that. Apparently, one blow to the head with a baseball bat is enough to incapacitate a dick-head.

So we then put into place; “Plan B”. We decided dick-head didn’t need his clothes anymore and stripped him butt-naked. Dick-head was still a little sleepy so we decided to leave him face-down in the dirt where he laid. We hopped in our car and we drove off to celebrate and get liquored up. All the tension, all the anxiety, gone! It was like the feeling you get after destroying yourself in the gym. Pure pleasure…

So here lay “dick-head”… Butt-naked, no keys, no car, no phone… and 5 miles from town… Payback’s a bitch…

OD

43

john p, that story was good man!

44

RJ, is that the anabolicos talking ?

If any of y’all have to brag about this shit, you have not learned a thing. I felt like shit over every poor mf’er I beat senseless. Usually it was the alcohol, usually I was not the instigator. It didn’t matter. Anyone reading these stories and thinking this bs is cool, think again.

Profound regret and bloody knuckles.

Some fun.

45

It’s not so much about beating someone senseless. At least for me.

Maybe it’s just a regional thing, but most of the knock down drag outs that I’ve had - especially in college - were with my friends. Me and my best friend would usually buy the other one’s breakfast after one of our scrapes depending on who got their ass kicked the night before - winner bought. Last time I saw the guy he knocked me off my barstool with straight left.

I’ve been in a couple of bad fights where it wasn’t a fight between good 'ol boys. That’s not what I’m talking about. I think Rangertab was referring to these fights, where it’s more fun than a fight to the death.

46

[quote]rainjack wrote:
VinceDee wrote:
You guys are all tools.

I prefer being a lover to a fighter.

And there we have it folks. The first pussy post of the thread.

Great job man.[/quote]

Rainjack, I love ya man. Not in a gay way, but I love la. Anyways, this bar fight I got in was a real doozie. There were chairs being cracked over people’s backs, pool cue’s smashed over people’s faces, and of course, the classic breaking of the bottles over guy’s heads. It all started when a buddy of mine hit on this guy’s girl. No big deal, my friend had no idea that she was with anyone, and this other guy gets a big fuckin’ attitude. So, being the noble man that I am, I decide to let my friend handle this beef between him and the other guy when his friends get involved. Like I said, I’m a peaceful man and tried to de-escalate the situation.

The guy comes up to me and says; “Your friend fucked up and hit on my buddy’s girl, and now he’s gonna get his ass kicked.” I responded with a smart-assed “Oh really??” He says “Yeah, that ain’t cool.” I said back to him, and you shoulda seen the look on his face when I said this: Well, about 20 of my Ranger buddies think it was pretty fucking cool!!"…That’s when the brawl started. That poor bastard had about 5 guys with him; so you know the outcome of that situation. The bar was totally trashed. I haven’t had that much fun since…shit, I can’t remember when. RLTW

rangertab75

47

[quote]rangertab75 wrote:
rainjack wrote:
VinceDee wrote:
You guys are all tools.

I prefer being a lover to a fighter.

And there we have it folks. The first pussy post of the thread.

Great job man.

Rainjack, I love ya man. Not in a gay way, but I love la. Anyways, this bar fight I got in was a real doozie. There were chairs being cracked over people’s backs, pool cue’s smashed over people’s faces, and of course, the classic breaking of the bottles over guy’s heads. It all started when a buddy of mine hit on this guy’s girl. No big deal, my friend had no idea that she was with anyone, and this other guy gets a big fuckin’ attitude. So, being the noble man that I am, I decide to let my friend handle this beef between him and the other guy when his friends get involved. Like I said, I’m a peaceful man and tried to de-escalate the situation.

The guy comes up to me and says; “Your friend fucked up and hit on my buddy’s girl, and now he’s gonna get his ass kicked.” I responded with a smart-assed “Oh really??” He says “Yeah, that ain’t cool.” I said back to him, and you shoulda seen the look on his face when I said this: Well, about 20 of my Ranger buddies think it was pretty fucking cool!!"…That’s when the brawl started. That poor bastard had about 5 guys with him; so you know the outcome of that situation. The bar was totally trashed. I haven’t had that much fun since…shit, I can’t remember when. RLTW

rangertab75[/quote]

Man…if ever anyone says “well, 20 of my Ranger bro’s think it’s pretty funny” and I’m not calmed almost to sleep by that…I need to be killed cause I’ve got serious stupid from somewhere.
I mean…you say he had 5 with him? I know they weren’t seals, cause you guys won :wink: …man, that’s just stupid.

48

Yeah, I think we won. HAHAHA. RLTW

rangertab75

49

[quote]magyar wrote:
RJ, is that the anabolicos talking ?

If any of y’all have to brag about this shit, you have not learned a thing. I felt like shit over every poor mf’er I beat senseless. Usually it was the alcohol, usually I was not the instigator. It didn’t matter. Anyone reading these stories and thinking this bs is cool, think again.

Profound regret and bloody knuckles.

Some fun.[/quote]

Oh, sorry, but the prize for first one to be an asshole and ruin the tone of the thread goes to Vincedee. Besides, who really gives a shit about how you feel after a fight?

50

I personally have never won a fight. It usually ends of with me going to the hospital. I am like Vin Diesel in Knockaround Guys where he says “500” to the guys face he’s about to smash (as in how many street fights he’s won) but when I say it it means how many times I’ve been beaten senseless.

51

[quote]Michael C wrote:
I personally have never won a fight. It usually ends of with me going to the hospital. I am like Vin Diesel in Knockaround Guys where he says “500” to the guys face he’s about to smash (as in how many street fights he’s won) but when I say it it means how many times I’ve been beaten senseless. [/quote]

I’ve never been beaten senseless.

I’ve never even been in a bar fight. Back when I used to go to bars a lot, I tried hard too. No one would ever dance with me.
It hurt my feelings.

52

[quote]Michael C wrote:
I personally have never won a fight. It usually ends of with me going to the hospital. I am like Vin Diesel in Knockaround Guys where he says “500” to the guys face he’s about to smash (as in how many street fights he’s won) but when I say it it means how many times I’ve been beaten senseless. [/quote]

im gonna kick your ass for that stoopid post :wink:

53

[quote]wufwugy wrote:

im gonna kick your ass for that stoopid post ;)[/quote]

I would definitely say that I deserve it. Last fight I was in was not in a bar it was at Ruas Vale Tudo last week getting my ass handed to me (again) by guys that do it for a living. Not really a fight when they feel bad for you (I look like the kid from the movie Mask, due to all the senseless beatings I’ve received). Hey, sometimes you just gotta forge on. When life gives you lemons, right?

54

I don’t want to sound offensive or anything, but could you Yanks explain to me why barfights are “fun” ?

I’m a practicing judoka and back in college I worked part time as a bouncer. Inevitably, I’ve been involved in such “incidents” and there was never was anything “fun” about it.

I cannot imagine myself getting involved in a barfight voluntarily.

Is this a cultural thing or am I missing something?

55

[quote]loppar wrote:
I don’t want to sound offensive or anything, but could you Yanks explain to me why barfights are “fun” ?

I’m a practicing judoka and back in college I worked part time as a bouncer. Inevitably, I’ve been involved in such “incidents” and there was never was anything “fun” about it.

I cannot imagine myself getting involved in a barfight voluntarily.

Is this a cultural thing or am I missing something?[/quote]

I guess it’s a testosterone thing, or something. Somehow, the fights always find me, not the other way around. RLTW

rangertab75

56

My only barfight involved someone giving me the staredown from across the room in a crowded pub. I don’t know what his problem was but the place was packed and it was hard to move. This made it hard to ignore and eventually the guy started talking shit and yelling at me. I flipped him the bird and was actually able to walk a few steps before he was right behind me and tearing at my shirt . To this day I have no idea how he made it across the room so fast.

I turned around, gave him the classic chest shove and he went flying back into a waitress and they collapsed in a heap together.

The owner came and yelled at us, we went outside, I paid the owner some money for the broken glasses, and they guy came over and shook my hand.

I don’t know what the hell he was thinking. He was taller than me but I easily had 60 pounds on him.

Oh, and once in Boston I got in a fight with a crackhead who swung a flourescent light tube at my head. I blocked it, my buddy charged him and he ran off.

57

[quote]Michael C wrote:
wufwugy wrote:

im gonna kick your ass for that stoopid post :wink:

I would definitely say that I deserve it. Last fight I was in was not in a bar it was at Ruas Vale Tudo last week getting my ass handed to me (again) by guys that do it for a living. Not really a fight when they feel bad for you (I look like the kid from the movie Mask, due to all the senseless beatings I’ve received). Hey, sometimes you just gotta forge on. When life gives you lemons, right? [/quote]

when life gives you shit, make shit n eggs. lol!

when life gives you a barbell, make power.

58

[quote]VinceDee wrote:
You guys are all tools.

I prefer being a lover to a fighter.[/quote]

yeah, in jail they call that Bitch!

59

This thread is freakin great. It stirs the urge to go back for one more good old slugfest. Just a big ole face punching gut wrenching throwdown.

60

[quote]RoadWarrior wrote:
VinceDee wrote:
You guys are all tools.

I prefer being a lover to a fighter.

yeah, in jail they call that Bitch!
[/quote]

ROFLMBFAO!!! Phew… you can’t just write something like that without a warning… Made me choke on my protein shake…

OD