I think your thinking is sound and your plan is a good one. I’m sorry you have to deal with it at all, though.
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Well, things are going south quickly. I’ve been extremely bloated and just uncomfortable since Sunday evening. I’m debating hopping on hormonal birth control to manage the symptoms (terrifying) and even canceling my trip (even more terrifying). I’m devastated and lost. That’s all I can say.
Edit: Finally getting some relief; the bloating and discomfort are not quite but almost gone late this evening, which gives me hope. I’m still probably looking at getting on a progesterone-only pill and seeing how well I handle it. It feels like simultaneously giving in and giving up, but I’m trying to reframe my thinking and imagine the potential benefits of doing so.
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As one who’s had to take prescription medication for hormonal imbalances (depression after a TBI), I can both empathize with the depression and also offer and analogy I found helpful. Someone told me to look at the antidepressant pill like I would a cast for a broken limb. When a limb breaks, a doctor places it in a cast to protect the limb and create an environment for healing. With medication for hormone rebalancing, our endocrine system isn’t working in some regard, so the pill acts as a cast, providing support to encourage a healing environment and enable a functioning physical system. Although a cast is usually more temporary than medication, it’s also more obtrusive and limiting. Like others said, I wish you didn’t have to deal with this, but you aren’t in denial, which means you’ll be able to work with your doctor and figure out how to move back into a full life.
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Hi. Just caught up on your log after about a year. I can see there has been a lot going on. Like everyone here, I strongly support you, and as we have discussed I know a bit about some of the things you’re going through. But good lord, every level from your health to geopolitics is just hitting you from all sides right now. Yikes.
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Thanks for the words. I sure hope that I will find some relief. I just took my first dose of the birth control I was prescribed. It took so much to convince myself to try it. All the side effects terrify me, but ultimately I have to try it because it’s been almost six days and I’m still in pain.
I was given a referral for minimally invasive surgery and would love to get in this week to then heal enough by the time I leave the country (I healed within about a month after previous abdominal surgery), but I doubt that’s realistic. So this is probably my only chance.
I really appreciate that!
Yep. The geopolitical situation has definitely affected me over these past three years to say the least. And now I have no clue why my body decided to give me endo, but here we are. I regret not taking this more seriously back when I experienced the first symptoms in December.
It has been nice to catch up on your log and see that you and your family seem to be doing well. And living in paradise!
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4/25
5/3/1 for Bodybuilding W1D1
Press 45x15
SA KB press 12kgx4x8
BB curl 45x4x12
Lateral raises 5x13,15,16
Preacher curl 10x12,12,10
4/26
I’m probably going to jinx myself by saying this, but a lot of my pelvic pain has already dissipated within two hours of taking the BC pill. Weird how quickly that happened, I don’t think it’s placebo. Still feeling some inflammation, but at least it no longer feels like my bladder is being crushed. The idea of hopping on the bike had not appealed to me at all since I last rode on Tuesday. I have motivation to clean my apartment.
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glad to read you are getting some relief
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Sending you a hug and lots of prayers. If you want to talk about diet/nutrition stuff or just life, I’m here.
You are strong and you’re gonna get through this. 
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Thank you both so much!
I think what’s most frustrating is not knowing why this is happening to me in the first place.
I already eat a very clean diet and exercise a lot. Obviously no one else has the answer either. Plus this disease is already so poorly understood anyway.
It is kind of interesting though because I feel like in the past year or so I have gained some weight and begun to carry bodyfat in a way that suggests something hormonally is not right. Maybe it is just some form of confirmation bias though.
I’m so glad that my pelvic pain is already gone on the second day of this though. Besides feeling very thirsty, I haven’t experienced any other side effects (yet). And unless I become really depressed, then any new side effect should be more tolerable than that pain.
And I know I keep rambling here, and this is directed toward no one in particular, but I want to say that I am not entirely anti-Western medicine. Maybe this is something my body needs. Though sometimes it just feels radical and like treating the symptoms rather than the root cause. But hey, if I manage to not bleed for a bit, I bet my body also won’t mind not having to fight becoming borderline anemic 
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4/27
5/3/1 for Bodybuilding W1D2
Front squat 85x10
BSS 20x4x10
Kneeling ab wheel 3x15
Some Nordic curl negatives
Feels good to be able to do what’s normal for me 
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I was quite happy to see this among all of the tough news lately. I hope you enjoy this one—it’s one of my favorites!
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Should really get a male disease 
Hope the BC helps in the long-term or you find a better solution, I take approximately all the drugs (to keep my brain from dooming itself) while simultaneously feeling like there must be a better way
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4/28
5/3/1 for Bodybuilding W1D3
Pull-ups 9,7
Bench 75x13
Dips 12,10,10,10,10
Push-ups 8,7,6,5
Some banded tricep pushdowns
4/30
5/3/1 for Bodybuilding W1D4
Pull-ups 3x8
Deadlift 145x11
Deficit RDL 90x4x10
T-bar row +30x3x13
Some hanging leg raises
Well, I’m functioning. I’m getting better each day. Thankfully, the BC pill has alleviated a lot of pain so that I can live my life. I’m not really bloated anymore even when I sometimes feel like I do after I eat (yeah, I sometimes dread the thought of food). Still, I’m stressing myself out by agonizing over my endo, which I know probably only makes it worse. But I haven’t felt like my normal self in ten days. This makes me think this will be my new normal. Unsurprisingly, my anxiety and sadness over this make me fear an endometrioma rupturing while I’m abroad.
All I can do is hope that this very gradual improvement continues. I have an appointment with a doctor on Friday whom I really trust, and I hope they can alleviate some of my fears and schedule a surgery for me.
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My doctor doesn’t think I have endo. Small chance of adenomyosis, but even then he was iffy about it. This is based just on my narratives, an ultrasound from February, images from a previous surgery he performed for me, and a pelvic exam he reperformed. Of course, none of these are definitive or even good ways to diagnose these conditions. They’re useless in some cases. However, based on my reactions during the pelvic exam, he suspects I have a musculoskeletal issue and referred me to pelvic floor therapy and prescribed a muscle relaxer.
I’m not sure how much I buy it. I am still inclined to believe I have one or both of the above conditions, especially because this all seems related to my menstrual cycle. I understand he wants to try lower hanging fruits first like any good doctor though.
I still haven’t been back to normal yet. On Sunday I will have been this way for two weeks. Yesterday I even got a bit worse again, and I was debating canceling/postponing my trip. I guess I am still going and just going to live like this.
I’m frustrated but willing to be proven wrong. He highly recommended I see a physical therapist at least once before my trip, which I will do.
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Oops, totally neglected my log as the past couple of weeks have been extremely busy. This is turning into less and less of a training log. Fortunately, with the exception of a flare-up yesterday that I think resulted from an experiment with dairy the night before, I’ve been pain-free since a long and somewhat heavy bleed earlier this month 
I was a little terrified last night, but the discomfort is very tolerable as I type this.
I finished the cycle of 5/3/1 for Bodybuilding and am simply doing some random lifting workouts plus cycling and running until I leave in a week. I’ll stay in some hotels with a gym, so I’m planning to squeeze in a couple of DB workouts and even a few runs while I’m away. I’m still distressed by this pelvic situation, but I like to think I will be okay for a bit.
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glad to read this.
still interesting, and it’s your space.
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I have been back in the US for about a week, doing random stuff as I try to regain some fitness and remember how to lift again. Still feels weird (and unsettling) to be back here, but it is what it is. It was definitely the most important trip of my life though. There is so much to be said that I can’t really find any words at all. To my surprise, I think I was more ready to meet my sister for the first time than I thought. I am definitely carrying myself differently after this. I could ramble about this for ages but will refrain.
I did squeeze in two small workouts while I was away, but I still feel very out of shape as I type this! Plus for some reason I couldn’t stop sleeping last weekend due to awful jet lag and sleep deprivation. Only now do I feel back to normal. My advisor said it means I am getting old, but I think the emotional aftermath has played a big role.
Anyway, besides the two workouts, I completed what turned out (unexpectedly) to be the hardest hike of my life when I was in Kazakhstan. I went with a former-communications-engineer-turned guide who is in his early 40s and clearly does this routinely, and I was just in awe of his fitness. Though the hardest part of the six miles was concentrated in probably only 25% of it, where we ascended about 200 floors. I felt really out of shape, but he told me I was the fastest woman to complete the hike with him ever, and I guess I believe him. I think four hours are recommended for the hike, but we finished in three.
Health-wise, I’m also very fortunate in that my pelvis didn’t bother me for pretty much the whole time. Only a couple of days with the most minor discomfort that was almost forgettable. For now I’m a bit disturbed that I may just be covering up a problem with birth control, and I’m not sure what my next steps will be. But it was also nice to not have a period either due to my history of iron issues. On the other hand, I realized on the first day of the trip that the toe I broke in December is indeed broken again, just… maybe not as broken. I just taped it and went on walking everywhere in Germany and Kazakhstan because, well, it’s not like I was going to just sit inside because of a broken pinky toe. So that means I did that grueling hike with a broken toe. Then my body decided I should also have an ear infection for the first time in my life, which required me to actually visit a doctor in Kazakhstan. It’s only now dissipating.
I did really miss my workout and sleep routine here, but besides that it feels kinda meh.
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Now a separate post about training: I decided that I want to focus more on calisthenics. I want to keep losing weight slowly and really improve bodyweight movements while also getting stronger on the bike. I like to think these two things aren’t mutually exclusive.
I have also decided to give up on barbell squatting for a little while because I don’t think it has served me very well. To be honest, looking back on the past however many years I have been lifting, my legs have made very little progress in terms of strength or aesthetics this way. Not that I’ve made tremendous progress in lifting anyway, but the squat is what seems like the biggest waste. I think my anatomy is partially to blame, but maybe I also have ingrained such bad habits with the barbell and thought that things would improve as I got “stronger.” In reality I don’t think my legs have actually gotten stronger, and they don’t look great either. Lose-lose.
I’ve also realized that I just don’t care about having a very big squat anymore. Sure, I could try to hire a coach and really optimize my training and nutrition for it, but that’s just not in me. I just want stronger and leaner legs that look like I train a bit and can help me in whichever athletic endeavor I pursue. I don’t think the barbell squat is the be-all and end-all for this despite m
So, instead of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result for legs, I’m going to focus on single-leg work and goblet squats sprinkled in. I just ordered a box so I can do step-ups and also some plyos (once my toe heals more). I also want to seriously reincorporate hill sprints (again, whenever my stupid toe actually heals). Notably, I went to my second physical therapy appointment yesterday (for my pelvic issue), and I found out that my adductors are extremely weak. No wonder because I don’t train them. I may as well do the simple band exercises assigned to me for those. I’ll still deadlift though 
Now that the rambling is over, I’m probably going to concoct my own program because, well, I can and don’t have that much capacity to scour the Internet. Basically, this log will become lots of bodyweight exercises, cycling, and some deadlifting for a bit.
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6/28
Pull-ups 3x7
Ring push-ups 4x7
Ring rows 4x10
Some hanging leg raises
6/29
Didn’t have time to do my cycling workout, and since my toe is feeling much better, I ran 10 km instead. No issues.
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Also… no idea if anyone here has experience with this, but I’m going to throw it out there and ramble more:
I’m still trying to connect the dots regarding my pelvic issue. Coincidentally, I’ve been experiencing a very small flare that started only a couple hours after I posted on Friday. I’m starting to wonder if it’s not a coincidence that I feel better when I’m not at home. It seems kind of woo-woo, but I suspect mold in my apartment may have contributed to this because I haven’t seriously changed other potential culprits like diet in recent years.
Of course, part of it is my fault because I’ve let it persist over time. Though another reason is that there’s just such poor ventilation in my apartment’s bathroom anyway. There is/was some mold mostly in the shower, some of which I’ve seemingly killed (but will probably return). Unfortunately some of it is so embedded in the caulk that it’s a lost cause. It could just be that the caulk needs to be replaced, but I’m worried that there is potentially more behind the tile/wall.
I’ve been jumping to lots of conclusions this weekend… at the same time, apparently constant exposure to mold can mess with hormones and promote estrogen dominance… which is basically what endo is. I never had pelvic issues in my life until this past December. I think the fact that there’s still visible mold is concerning enough.
I’m still waiting for maintenance to respond to my request. Who knows what they will do. Still, I’m now seriously considering moving out by the time my lease ends in about two months (maybe sooner if there is a proven mold issue). Problem is that I don’t know if I can find someone who will rent to me for 6-7 months instead of a full year.
A couple of people have told me to seek an attorney, especially because I am highly considering surgery to remove whatever the hell this is, but it seems like such cases are rarely taken on let alone won. So I almost want to move and eat the costs just out of extreme caution.
Ugh, so frustrating.
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