Okay, starting this over.
OG C1W1D1
10 jumps
Deadlift
135x5
160x5
180x18 PR
200x5
SA KB Press 3x8, 1x7
SSB BSS 80x3x8
SA BB Row +50x20(PR),12
Better mentally to have only one lift to focus on. Though I think I should have gone for 20 on the PR set, I’m still happy with how light 180 felt. Definitely a PR by 4 reps or so as far as I can remember. Then 200 moved easily afterwards. And the rows felt light.
Congrats on another PR!
They probably do. Maybe not dangerous, but why risk it?
I still forget that this is a thing that women need to be concerned about. My better half gets 2 buses home from work twice a week that takes 45mins if she’s lucky, much longer if she isn’t. It would take me 30mins to walk that distance slowly and I regularly “forget” that she doesn’t feel like that is an option for her because I’ve been very lucky in my life that I’ve rarely had to think about these things.
Someone just called me the grouchiest of the grouches. You’re in good company.
I do think most people are harmless. But I’ve had middle-aged men say the weirdest shit to me when my body language clearly does not invite conversation. Examples both from last week:
I don’t have a car, so I I limit purchases to the amount I can carry in my bags. My hands were full while I stood in the checkout line but nothing unmanageable. Random person says to me: “I make the same mistake as you all the time! It’s the worst. Come to the store for one thing and end up leaving with more than planned.”
I was on the train and wearing clothes suited for warm weather, so someone 5-10 feet away first apologizes and then says he has to ask what exactly my tattoo is. Whatever, I answer him. I was also wearing a shirt from my alma mater. Then he asks if I’ve ever been there and goes on and on. I only nod without saying anything. He goes on to say “oh cool, I only ask you because I’m from X area.”
And without fail, pre-COVID, I was always told to smile. Again, I hate that.
Clearly I don’t like talking to people!
And here you told me earlier that I could choose not to think about such things 
That’s sad that your partner is inconvenienced in that way. I’ve lived in not super rough neighborhoods – though I’ve certainly visited them – but in general regions that would make people hesitate relative to other parts of town. No car access since high school, so now I learn public transit and navigate by foot easily, even in new places. You have to make it look like you know exactly what you’re doing, even if you don’t. It’s a good skill in many areas of life but shouldn’t have to determine one’s safety, regardless of one’s identity, unfortunately.
On the flip side, I know someone in my program who got a loan for a car because they were freaked out by the . . . type of people at a popular but well-policed transit stop during daylight. By all means I think people should do what makes them feel safe, but it was ridiculous.
nice dead lifts again. pleasing to the eye.
It is interesting how perspective is different for different people. Obviously I wasn’t there so cant see the body language or get a feel for the weirdness of these encounters. But both of them to me just seem like someone trying to make small talk with another human being. I actually think if more people spoke to each other than looked their phone then these encounters wouldn’t seem so weird.
I don’t mind helping a stranger with directions if they genuinely need it. I don’t mind making small talk with my older landlord when I see him from time to time. But I don’t care to make small talk with a 40 something year-old man when I don’t even make eye contact with him. I look like a high-schooler. It’s weird.
Last month I was waiting outside a business when a stranger acting in a similar way approached me. Afterwards a worker, genuinely concerned, walked outside and asked if I was okay. That’s the kind of people who say stuff like this to me.
I don’t know if you’re putting me into a bubble, but I take my relationship with technology seriously. I seldom check my phone, and I value real-world interaction when appropriate.
The hill was inaccessible today. It was getting late so something quicker was good anyway:
3x400m (1:37,1:37,1:27)
800m cooldown 3:58
I wondered why the first two reps were so slow – didn’t think running on cement instead of a track would make such a difference – but then realized that the route was slightly uphill in that direction. That’s okay. The weather was great.
wasn’t directed at you specifically, I don’t know you that well. It was more a general observation. No one seems to talk to anyone these days. When I was younger I would get the bus or the train and always end up having conversations with real people , all sorts of people from mothers with children to elderly gentleman and everything in between. No I get on a train and I am the only person without ear pods on who is not looking at a phone.
That was some serious repping out on the deadlifts! That’s where I always hurt myself, so I’m still limiting myself to 10 reps on any deadlift set unless it’s in competition, so I’m honestly a little jealous.
I have a tendency to avoid initiating conversation with young women for this very reason, unless I have a reason to. I would feel creepy doing it, so I can only imagine how it feels from the receiving end of that interaction. I’m all for May-December romances if it works for someone, but I would never feel comfortable doing it myself.
I also sort of have resting asshole face, so I can look intimidating unless I smile, then I just look goofy. I will always help when asked though, and I have intervened when I see creepiness going on where someone is clearly uncomfortable with the situation. I’m not interested in white knighting, but if I see someone in genuine distress I will always say something.
You’re talking about something different, which is fine because I find that topic fascinating. You might appreciate Cal Newport’s works. Maybe even Infinite Jest if you like lengthy books.
Small talk isn’t my favorite. It’s a necessary evil in professional life, and I can accept that. But what I’m discussing here is unwanted male attention, part of which includes chatting me up when I clearly don’t want to. I know I sound like I hate mankind, but it’s always middle-aged men – never women or even young men – who do this. If I walk outside, it’s that demographic that I can feel watching me and whose remarks I have to ignore. Drivers honk their horns at me all the time and yell stuff at me I rather not hear, even in colder months. Is this harassment? No. Is it annoying? Yup.
Whatever, first world problems. Slightly more on topic and less SJW: honestly, a big reason why lifting appealed to me is because I thought it would help make me look a bit older so that maybe I wouldn’t run into these kinds of things so much, or so that people would take me more seriously. I don’t know if that makes sense.
Deadlift is the only lift that makes sense to me. I think I’m really built for the lift though. I’d be good at a deadlift for reps kind of thing but not much else. You’re strong and seem to know what works for you.
Likewise. I always found the whole smiling for no reason thing strange and fake, but I know it’s a cultural thing here.
I’m actually good at deadlift, I just get incautious and hurt myself, so I have to self-impose limitations. If you want to look back at the last Strongman comp I did, almost 4 years ago, I killed the deadlift, tied for second, and the guy who I tied with and the guy who beat me both outweighed me by over 100#, and the other guy in the masters class outweighed me by 50#.
What age are you defining as middle aged men (thinking that might include me) not @OTHSteve or @Cyrrex though they are OLD. LOL
You mentioned above someone commenting in a supermarket that you had too many groceries or more than you planned or some other innocuous comment. This is something I would say to a stranger girl or boy and I wouldn’t be chatting you up or expect it to be taken as creepy. Like I said before I wasn’t there so don’t have a good read on the weirdness
I never thought otherwise! Based on your log, you seem like a well-rounded lifter.
Just watched the videos. Awesome efforts deadlifts and yoke. Thanks for sharing. Excited for you to compete again soon!
I don’t know. I don’t ask strangers how old they are, tell them to smile, etc. 40s probably.
I wouldn’t suggest that however someone else shopped was a mistake (he used those exact words). That’s not my business.
I’ll give almost anyone a chance if they approach me. They might need help, and I am happy to do that. Especially because I’m good with directions. But if an older man immediately comments on me, especially my appearance, it’s over. Even if his intentions aren’t malicious, I don’t owe him (or anyone) a response when I never welcomed a conversation in the first place. A lot of the time smiling or replying to a man in public gives permission for something more, and I can never know for sure. I’ve been followed on my way home before, for example.
I admit that I often assume the worst. I would love not to. I would also love to be ignored by men in public – to not be expected to reply in a non-social situation and to not be ogled at. Maybe 30 years from now?
remind me to never pay you a compliment on how you look.
Mate, if maturity were anything to go by, you are both way older than me.
I disagree. It clearly is in my book.
I have probably more female friends than male ones and about everyone of them has encountered some form of harassment or at least inappropriate behavior. What that is exactly differs not lastly because different people might draw the line at
different points.
When some friends tell me “dude xy did or said that to me the other day”, I would often be surprised and ask them how that made them feel because I would have labelled said behavior as inappropriate, as would some other people, while in this case the affected did not take it in that way.
I try to keep that in mind when interacting with people, not only women, whom I don’t know well yet. Some things I have said to @Cyrrex on here would have surely been received as hurtful if I directed them at someone else.
The same goes for my interactions with women. It doesn’t matter if I intend to say something harmless if it isn’t received in that matter.
Doesn’t help that I’m told that my first impression can be intimidating in itself to some, so I’m maybe a little extra careful.
And yet I curl up into a fetal position every night, crying myself to sleep, and you have no idea.
I am obviously kidding, but you make an important point. Communication is just as much about what is being received as it is what was intended to be sent. I often attempt to pay what I consider geniune compliments to Bagsy about some of her performances here in this very log. I have no doubt I have said some variation of something like “that is damn impressive, I have rarely seen a female do X number of those”. I am honestly trying to convey that I think she is a legitimate badass, but depending on how she views me and/or the world, she could easily interpret it as sexist and condescending.
It’s tricky. But since I am a privileged white male, I will just err on the side of assuming that a woman has a right to feel whatever she feels in those kinds of circumstances and it is up to me to try to modify my behaviour.
That’s how I view it as well. Some people just don’t realize how priviliged they are.