That’s an interesting perspective. So you believe that you were born with the potential to be either gay or straight? At what point in your life did you choose the road most traveled by?
[quote]Makavali wrote:
IrishSteel wrote:
At least my self-identity isn’t defined by another man’s a$$hole . . .
Apparently it’s defined by a lukewarm hole in a woman.
It’s not like there’s anything else to life, right?[/quote]
Funny
Maybe fundamentalists are born orientated to, with a proclivity for, fundamentalism. Fundamentalphobia is a sure sign of a closeted fundamentalist.
By the way, I always think this list is funny.
And true… although it could describe most other organized religions as well.
[quote]pushharder wrote:
forlife, you must be one miserable creature. I feel sorry for you.[/quote]
Wow a serious nerve has been struck on this thread…keep it up!
[quote]forlife wrote:
Top 10 danger signs (from evilbible.com):
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and “dehumanized” when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the “atrocities” attributed to Allah, but you don’t even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in “Exodus” and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs - though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most “tolerant” and “loving.”
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in “tongues” may be all the evidence you need to “prove” Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a “high success rate” when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
[/quote]
No I’m not. I do know several and this suits them to a “T” not as in nation either. LMAO!!
Updated list.
You may be a Fundamentalist Christian if…
1.You think the conclusions that science has come to about our origins are ridiculous, yet you think believing in talking snakes, seven headed dragons and people turning into salt are perfectlly reasonable.
2.If you believe that your pastor is a better authority on science than an actual scientist.
3.You consider homosexuals’ desire for equal rights to be an “agenda”.
4.You have scrambled to try and disprove claims made in the Da Vinci Code, even though everyone knows it’s a fictional novel.
5.You say that Satan is a liar, murderer, etc. as if that wasn’t how your God intended him to be.
6.You try to force your veiws onto everyone you come across and then wonder why atheists never attack Buddhists or Hindus.
7.You say you feel sorry for atheists and think they are miserable creatures, but you revel in the idea of them burning in hell simply because they disagree with you.
8.You say that Stalin, Pol Pot and Mao were all atheists, but neglect to mention that they were all totalitarian communists as well.
9.You focus on trying to prove the stories in Genesis as literal events as if that were somehow more important than the lessons the stories were trying to teach.
10.You say that God speaks to you, but when a serial killer claims the same thing, you say he’s delusional.
11.When debating, you use bible verses as if they prove something.
12.You use Pascal’s wager as if it doesn’t apply to your religion versus anyone else’s religion.
13.When voting for a politician, his religion is more important to you than anything else.
14.You think that sexual preference, consensual sex, drug usage, profanity or lack of adherence to a god has something to do with morality.
15.You think the bible is 100% correct even thought the earth revolves around the sun and is not flat.
16.Believe that Jews are gods chosen people, yet they’re still going to hell.
17.You overreact whenever someone is perceived to be mocking your religion, and then wonder why people continue to mock your religion.
[quote]Cheeky_Kea wrote:
16.Believe that Jews are gods chosen people, yet they’re still going to hell.
[/quote]
lol.
I’m trying to come up with an opposite list. A, “You might be non religious if” list.
- You had to babysit your daughter’s 1st child so should she could attend prom. Girls will be girls!
- You had to drive your daughter to the clinic to “terminate” her 2nd child. Girls will be girls!
- You divorced your wife for a man. Or, vice versa.
- Your idea of charity is taxation and wealth redistribution.
- You can’t figure out which person gave you which STD’s.
- You believe marriage is a state benefits package that should be open to every imagineable arrangement of adults. Never questioning what the point is, then.
- Your bisexual wife cheated on you with your sister. Then called you a bigoted conservative prude when confronted. You apologize for your narrow-mindedness.
- The sound of baptists on a hay ride through your neighborhood, singing Christmas Carols and bringing Christmas dinners to the elderly, ruins your entire Winter Holdiay vacation.
- You’re critical of how missionaries and nuns provide relief and aid in Africa, without once having stepped foot (much less served a bowl of rice to the hungry) in Africa yourself.
- While relating your weekend sexual conquests to co-workers, you overhear two others in the corner talking about something innapropriate in the workplace…Sunday’s sermon.
- Acts in the old testament are shocking to you, but support the killing of humans in the womb as a right.
- Your increasingly secular society can’t replace itself demographically. Instead, you have to allow for mass immigration of fundamentalist immigrants with the hope they will birth enough new workers to fund the massive government mandates and social programs that have replaced voluntary religious social/charitable institutions and functions.
Help fill in the rest!
Hmm, some of those things don’t work sloth, because usually abortions, STDs, and divorces are more prevalent in poorer areas, and poorer areas happen to be more religious.
Or compare red and blue states, and the divorce rates in each. Or heck, just look at Sweden.
Some true non-religious/atheist ones that still take the piss out of us might be;
- You worry about your child being brainwashed when they draw a picture of Santa
- You get angry about people thinking you’re always angry
- You begin referring to Zeus or other deities in regular conversation, somewhat ironically.
- You give up god for lent, again, somewhat ironically.
- You can’t cope with figuring out what to say when someone sneezes
[quote]Sloth wrote:
I’m trying to come up with an opposite list. A, “You might be non religious if” list.
- You had to babysit your daughter’s 1st child so should she could attend prom.
- You had to drive your daughter to the clinic to “terminate” her 2nd child.
- You divorced your wife for a man. Or, vice versa.
- Your idea of charity is taxation and wealth redistribution.
- You can’t figure out which person gave you which STD’s.
- You believe marriage is a state benefits package that should be open to every imagineable arrangement of adults. Never questioning what the point is, then.
- Your bisexual wife cheated on you with your sister. Then called you a bigoted conservative prude when confronted.
- The sound of baptists on a hay ride through your neighborhood, singing Christmas Carols and bringing Christmas dinners to the elderly, ruins your entire Winter Holdiay vacation.
- You’re critical of how missionaries and nuns provide relief and aid in Africa, without once having stepped foot (much less served a bowl of rice to the hungry) in Africa yourself.
- While relating your weekend sexual conquests to co-workers, you overhear two others in the corner talking about something innapropriate in the workplace…Sunday’s sermon.
- Acts in the old testament are shocking to you, but support the killing of humans in the womb as a right.
- Your increasingly secular society can’t replace itself demographically. Instead, you have to allow for mass immigration of fundamentalist immigrants with the hope they will birth enough new workers to fund the massive government mandates and social programs that have replaced voluntary religious social/charitable institutions and functions.
Help fill in the rest![/quote]
Sarah Palin and i think you are right with number 1
Your later one’s were better.
[quote]Sloth wrote:
8. The sound of baptists on a hay ride through your neighborhood, singing Christmas Carols and bringing Christmas dinners to the elderly, ruins your entire Winter Holdiay vacation.
…
10. While relating your weekend sexual conquests to co-workers, you overhear two others in the corner talking about something innapropriate in the workplace…Sunday’s sermon.[/quote]
lol.
[quote]
9. You’re critical of how missionaries and nuns provide relief and aid in Africa, without once having stepped foot (much less served a bowl of rice to the hungry) in Africa yourself.[/quote]
QFT.
Better add “development” into that regression my friend…I think there are other explanatory variables 
[quote]DoubleDuce wrote:
98.6 is more than luke warm in my book. To each his own.[/quote]
Until it’s painful or blisters it’s lukewarm.
[quote]Sloth wrote:
I’m trying to come up with an opposite list. A, “You might be non religious if” list.
- You had to babysit your daughter’s 1st child so should she could attend prom.
- You had to drive your daughter to the clinic to “terminate” her 2nd child.
- You divorced your wife for a man. Or, vice versa.
- Your idea of charity is taxation and wealth redistribution.
- You can’t figure out which person gave you which STD’s.
- Your bisexual wife cheated on you with your sister. Then called you a bigoted conservative prude when confronted.
- The sound of baptists on a hay ride through your neighborhood, singing Christmas Carols and bringing Christmas dinners to the elderly, ruins your entire Winter Holdiay vacation.
- [/quote]
These could apply to a lot of “Christians” I know.
[quote]Makavali wrote:
Sloth wrote:
I’m trying to come up with an opposite list. A, “You might be non religious if” list.
- You had to babysit your daughter’s 1st child so should she could attend prom.
- You had to drive your daughter to the clinic to “terminate” her 2nd child.
- You divorced your wife for a man. Or, vice versa.
- Your idea of charity is taxation and wealth redistribution.
- You can’t figure out which person gave you which STD’s.
- Your bisexual wife cheated on you with your sister. Then called you a bigoted conservative prude when confronted.
- The sound of baptists on a hay ride through your neighborhood, singing Christmas Carols and bringing Christmas dinners to the elderly, ruins your entire Winter Holdiay vacation.
These could apply to a lot of “Christians” I know.[/quote]
Hell no they couldnt. Christians are perfect. Didnt you get the memo. You are burning in hell for sure now.
[quote]Makavali wrote:
Sloth wrote:
I’m trying to come up with an opposite list. A, “You might be non religious if” list.
- You had to babysit your daughter’s 1st child so should she could attend prom.
- You had to drive your daughter to the clinic to “terminate” her 2nd child.
- You divorced your wife for a man. Or, vice versa.
- Your idea of charity is taxation and wealth redistribution.
- You can’t figure out which person gave you which STD’s.
- Your bisexual wife cheated on you with your sister. Then called you a bigoted conservative prude when confronted.
- The sound of baptists on a hay ride through your neighborhood, singing Christmas Carols and bringing Christmas dinners to the elderly, ruins your entire Winter Holdiay vacation.
These could apply to a lot of “Christians” I know.[/quote]
Fixed # 7
I am not a believer myself, but having forlife post things like this does not help the causes of things like reason, scientific advancement and atheism. If the bible justified homosexuality and same sex married beyond an argument, forlife would probably be one of the people he is making fun of.
I’m a Lutheran, where do I fit in?
[quote]tom63 wrote:
I’m a Lutheran, where do I fit in?[/quote]
Is that meant to be a rhetorical affirmation?..or just straight out sarcasm?.
[quote]Cheeky_Kea wrote:
tom63 wrote:
I’m a Lutheran, where do I fit in?
Is that meant to be a rhetorical affirmation?..or just straight out sarcasm?.
[/quote]
Sarcasm. There is a wide variety in Christian thought. when the left refers to fundamentalism, they usually mean Christian who doesn’t agree with me.