Im not nearly on the level you are flap, but I agree.
I’ve been on an extended failed bulk the past year+. Weighed about 215lb last fall/winter and currently am sitting around 201-205 or so. I’ve gotten a hell of a lot stronger and body comp has improved quite a bit.
I just can’t seem to eat enough (decently healthy food) with how many calories I expend throughout the day. It seems to be working out for me, though. I have more fat to lose and muscle to gain to fill out 200lbs, but I seem to be heading in the right direction.
@startingagain personally, I’d eat as much as I could, lift as much as I could handle and adjust based on the outcome. Gaining too much fat? Lift more and do more conditioning. Not gaining any muscle? Eat more steak, lift more and do more conditioning.