[quote]pgtips wrote:
[quote]batman730 wrote:
[quote]Nards wrote:
[quote]i_am_ketosis wrote:
I’m a little late to this thread, but after watching the first video posted I would like to know if anyone that knows anything about reading body language can chime in on this dude’s behavior, because all he does is do “self comforting” techniques like play with his rings/hands/legs/shirt/etc which usually means you are very uncomfortable/unsure of yourself/insecure/etc.
I’m a novice when it comes to this stuff, but I know a few of the signs and I wouldn’t believe a word of what this guy is saying because he doesn’t even believe it.
[/quote]
That’s a very good point.
[/quote]
It is a good point. I’m a bit of a novice at this stuff as well, but with this guy it’s pretty glaring. It’s especially noticeable if you watch with the sound muted. Then you won’t be distracted by the words coming out of his mouth and your reaction to them.
For someone who should, by virtue of the setting, be of high social status in the group he is addressing (especially since he claims to teach others how to be “alpha”) he is one uncomfortable looking dude.
As mentioned above there is a ton of “self comforting” behaviour (especially around the face/nose and hands) there are also a lot of erratic head/eye movements interspersed with periods of unnaturally prolonged/intense eye contact with the audience.
His overall demeanour, to me anyway, looks like that of somebody who wants badly to be believed but who has zero real confidence in whatever it is that he’s saying. If you told me this was a CCTV video from a police interview room I would say the guy was lying his ass off about something.
If he was trying to sell me something, I would definitely not be buying. FTR this has nothing to do with my opinion of his personal style and everything to do with his body language. [/quote]
I don’t like all these ideas of body language solidifying assumptions about a persons inner workings at a precise moment in time. I feel that at best, body language can be interpreted only very basicly / unreliably.
An example I could use is my self in the situation of a police interview as was stated above. Even if I was inncocent and I was being interviewed I would probably display a lot of signs of nervousness and insecurity (lack of eye contact, shifting and and fiddling with my hands etc) which could be interpreted as me being untruthful - which it could be, but there are variables such as the fact I may be stressed and nervous because I am in a police interview which would in turn promote signs of nervousnous and insecurity in my body language.
I’m not saying that this Arash bloke is not talking a load of crap because I think he is, and his body language could well be displaying signs which are saying he is bullshitting, but maybe thats just his natural predispostion. I know many naturally anxious and nervous people of whom are listened to and relied upon to lead, because, although they are naturally inclined to being nervous and coming accross as unconfident are actually very confident and sure of themselves but are intelligent enough to be unconfident with a task or situation they do not have a great deal of experience with.
(This post does not relate too much to this Arash, but the conversation about body language lead me to think about how damaging our perceptions of body language can possibly be)[/quote]
I understand what you’re getting at and I appreciate the risk of reading too much into body language etc. That being said, there really is a lot to non verbal communication. It is estimated that up to 70% of communication has nothing to do with our words or voice, but rather with our body positioning, gestures, microexpressions etc. To ignore 70% of the message someone is sending while assessing them does not make sense to me.
Also these cues tend to be, with many notable exceptions, fairly universal across people and cultures (especially microexpressions). Most people are also nowhere near as adept as lying with their bodies as they are with there words. This is why we are very often able to make fairly accurate and reliable snap judgments about people and situations based on very little evidence. We pick up on this stuff subconsciously and our immediate impressions and gut feelings, if we are aware of and account for our personal biases, are often superior to our more well thought out opinions.
I am not talking about anything as simplistic as “if someone maintains eye contact they are telling the truth, if not they are lying”. This is simply not true. In fact, a liar will often maintain more eye contact than someone who is telling the truth because a.) they wish to appear honest and b.) they are looking carefully at their audience for signs that they are being believed. Also, in many cultures, direct eye contact is considered extremely rude but they are obviously not lying all the time. I’m talking about small stuff that crosses personal and cultural boundaries and is largely outside our conscious awareness or control.
A person can appear extremely nervous or downright panicky, as in your police example, but if they are being be truthful their non verbals will tend to look different from someone who is nervous and lying.
I also agree completely with your assertion that confidence is not intelligent in all situations. An over confident 20 something who used to work for us once expressed surprise at my “lack of confidence” when I said I didn’t really expect to win an international highland games I was thinking of entering on a lark without any real preparation. There is a difference between being irrationally sure of yourself and your ability to perform in any and all situations and believing and being confident in your own core philosophy while you are expressing it, especially when you are trying to sell it as a product.
This is of course just my opinion and I am by no means an authority and could be way off base. However the basic principle is sound and backed by a fair amount of science.